“Or maybe he’s trying to keep himself from getting hurt again.”
“I don’t want to hurt him this time.”
“Then you’ll have to show him that.”
“How?” Violet wiped the dampness from her cheeks. “And don’t tell me I need to kiss him again.”
Hyacinth smirked. “That probably would help. But no, I think the best thing you can do is show him that you’ve changed, the same way he’s trying to show you that he’s changed.”
“But what can I do to show him?”
“Prove to him that you’re done running away from love.”
Violet wasn’t sure how to do that. But she knew her sister was right. She had to show Sterling she was no longer afraid of love.
But was that true? When the time came tomorrow morning to stand before the reverend and sayI do, would she be able to do it? Even now, when she knew she loved Sterling?
17
Sterling approached the house wearily. Now that light was beginning to outline the rocky peaks of the eastern range, it was time to find out Violet’s decision about moving forward with a marriage of convenience.
He’d had time to think on the plan throughout the long watches of the night and dark early-morning hours. The truth was, as much as he wanted a real marriage with real love, the only woman he wanted was Violet. She was the only woman he’d ever wanted and always would be. He’d tried to deny that for months, but since the moment she’d walked back into his life, he’d been reminded all over again of how beautiful and kindhearted and creative and sweet she was.
He liked that she cared so much for Hyacinth and was willing to do anything to save her. He liked that Violet was humble and could admit her mistakes and was willing to grow. And he liked that she was easy to talk to and be with and was always adding her flare to everything she touched.
Besides that, she fit so well with him. She wasn’t intimidated by his personality and never seemed to cower, even during his most demanding moments. She also had an easygoing way of seeing life that complemented his more driven and compelling outlook. He knew a future with her would never be dull and that she would keep him from getting too stuck in his ways, and he appreciated that about her.
Yes, he loved her. He loved her like he would no other woman. And he was ready and willing to take whatever future she would give him, even if that meant a chaste marriage, even if that meant she never loved him in return, and even if that meant she wasn’t interested in a long-term commitment.
Yes, he wanted more. He wanted everything with her. But he would also be happy having her whether he earned her love in return or not.
Oh, he planned to try to win her. He would spend his life trying to win her. But regardless of what happened, he would love her and cherish her as long as she would let him.
A light glimmered in the parlor window.
Was Violet awake at the early-morning hour? Already waiting for him?
He halted.
He’d told her he would come for her answer at dawn. Now that the time was upon them, he wasn’t sure he could face her. What if she declined his proposal from last night? Had it even been a proposal? It had been more like a business plan than a heartfelt declaration of love.
Maybe that was okay. Maybe that’s what he liked about it—that he could marry her without all the emotion this time and without the fear of her running away. At least, he hoped she wouldn’t be afraid, that she would see their arrangement as practical and sensible.
He could marry her first and have the commitment in place, and then he could work on earning her trust. It was a backward way to approach marriage with her, but the frontward way hadn’t worked, and this was all he had left.
If he could make himself go inside…
He stared at the softly illuminated front window for a few more seconds before forcing his feet into action, this timeheading for the flagstone path that led to the porch. His footsteps seemed to grow heavier, but he made himself go.
He had nothing to lose if she said no. That’s what he was telling himself, since she wasn’t really his anyway. If she was willing, he would send one of the ranch hands into town to fetch Reverend Livingston. At least at the early-morning hour, the reverend would be home and would hopefully be willing to come out to do the wedding ceremony.
With his pulse tapping a harder rhythm, Sterling bounded up the steps and crossed to the door. As he opened it and stepped inside, his heart pushed up into his throat. He was lying to himself to say that he had nothing to lose. The truth was, he wanted this—her—so badly he could hardly breathe. If she said no now, would he be able to go on?
He closed the front door and leaned against it, his hand still on the door handle. He couldn’t bear her rejection again. What was he doing here? He had to leave.
“Sterling?” Her voice came from the parlor. “Is that you?”
He drew in a deep breath. He couldn’t leave. He had to persuade her to go through with the marriage to keep her safe from Claude. That was what this was about. It wasn’t about him. He couldn’t forget it.
