She obviously hadn’t expected him to confess his shortcomings. Why had it taken him so long to do so?
Hyacinth stood and stretched with a loud yawn. “I’m tired and going to bed.” She bent and placed a kiss on Violet’s head.
“Good night.” Violet gave her sister a wobbly smile.
Hyacinth cupped Violet’s cheek, stared at her for a long second—as though imparting strength—then turned and walked toward one of the bunk beds.
He sensed Hyacinth was doing her best to allow him and Violet some privacy, although she would still be able to hear every word of their conversation in the one-room cabin.
Even so, he appreciated her willingness to let them talk alone. She clearly cared enough for Violet that she wanted her sister to find some resolution in all that had happened.
A few moments later, when Hyacinth was motionless beneath her covers, Sterling cleared his throat and started his apology again. “I’m sorry for being selfish. I realize now that I entered our relationship looking at all the ways you could meet my needs, fit into my life, and make me happy.”
The words came more easily than he’d expected, maybe because on some level he’d already known he’d been selfish. Whatever the case, he needed to do this, not just for her but for himself, so that he could find healing and release. Ignoring the problem and trying to forget about Violet hadn’t helped him. The bitterness had only festered and spread.
In real life, true healing never came from overlooking the physical wound. It came from doing the painful work of cleaning and treating and bandaging it. The same was clearly true of emotional wounds.
“I thought I knew what love was,” he continued. “But I realize now that I have a lot to learn.”
“Don’t be too hard on yourself, Sterling.” She’d cocked her head and was studying him, as if seeing him for the first time.
Maybe this was a first—a first in the many lessons he still needed to learn, this one about humility. After all, he had a hard time being humble, admitting he was wrong, and giving up his grudges. He only had to think about how he’d almost ruined his relationship with Maverick and Hazel earlier in the year to be reminded just how stubborn he was.
“You’re a good man,” Violet said sincerely, “and you were good to me.”
“Does that mean you forgive me?”
“There’s nothing to forgive—”
“I could have done things differently too. Much differently.”
“That’s kind of you to say.” She lowered her gaze to the table, which was a good thing because he never had been able to resist the pretty green of her eyes. “But I’m realizing that with my father the way he is, I probably have a difficult time trusting in love. He always claimed to love me, said he loved me. But if he really did, how could he give me and Hyacinth up so easily?”
Sterling hadn’t thought of the connection, but he supposed that made sense. What good did a profession of love serve if it wasn’t backed up with actions? Had he done the same thing to Violet—made declarations of love but then given her up?
“I’m sorry I was like your father.” After learning the truth about Mr. Berkley, he didn’t want to be anything like the fellow. “But I’m learning, and I hope to become a man who loves with actions first and words second.”
A small smile played upon her lips.
The stiffness in his muscles eased. “I’ll be a better man someday…and my future wife will have you to thank for it.”
Her smile faded. “Of course.”
He probably hadn’t needed to mention his future wife. But he didn’t want Violet to think he had plans to become a better man forher. Just because they’d apologized to each other and begun to make peace didn’t mean he had any intention of pursuing her again.
Once had been enough.
“So, will you tell me more about Maverick and Hazel?” she asked shyly, clearly changing the subject. “I’d love to hear how they got together.”
“It’s a long story.”
“I’ve got nowhere else to go.” She waved a hand at the room to make her point.
He hesitated.
Her smile dimmed even more, disappearing altogether. “You don’t have to—”
“I’ve got nowhere else to go either.” He tried to lighten his voice. Talking to her hadn’t hurt him last night, and it wouldn’t hurt anything tonight either. In fact, he was looking forward to sitting in the quiet of the cabin again and conversing with her. Just like old acquaintances who were catching up with each other. That was all.
