“Sheran away from our wedding.Shesaid she didn’t love me.Shetossed me out of her life.” Each statement was like a gunshot.
Violet hung her head. This was exactly what she hadn’t wanted—for Sterling to hate her again.
“Shewas confused! If you’d really loved her, you would have been patient and understanding and tried to figure out what went wrong.” Hyacinth’s passionate declaration rang out in the cabin, echoing off the walls.
Violet waited tensely for Sterling to yell back, but this time he didn’t say anything.
“If you’d really loved her,” Hyacinth continued, “you wouldn’t have let her leave Colorado and then never contacted her again. If you’d really loved her, you wouldn’t have been able to live without her, and you would have gone after her.”
Violet could feel her cheeks burning and the agony twisting in her stomach. Hyacinth’s tirade wasn’t new to her. She’d heard her sister’s frustration before. However, it was one thing to rant about Sterling in private and another to throw all the accusations in his face.
The pressure inside Violet pulsed up into her chest, urging her to get up and run outside and escape the embarrassment. She pushed back from the table, the need to flee only growing stronger with every passing second.
Before she could stand, Sterling muttered under his breath. Then he stalked across the room, swiped his coat from a peg on the wall, and without bothering to put it on, he swung the door wide and stepped outside.
As the door banged closed behind him, Violet lowered her head into her hands.
For long seconds, Violet could think of nothing but the fact that she’d lost Sterling again. The minuscule progress she’d made was gone.
That wasn’t why she’d gone to him, was it? Because subconsciously she’d wanted to gain him back?
“I’m sorry, Vi.” Hyacinth plopped down onto the end of the bench. “I don’t know what came over me.”
“Oh, Hyacinth. You shouldn’t have—”
“Yes, I do know.” Hyacinth slapped the table. “I’m just tired of him acting all hurt and angry at you. He needs to come off his high horse and stop treating you like you’re the problem.”
“But I am the problem.”
“No!” Hyacinth reached over and grasped both of her hands. “You’ve always loved Sterling, and you still do.”
“I don’t know.”
“Isn’t that why we came back to Colorado?”
Was it? Violet hadn’t thought so, but maybe, deep in her heart, she had wanted to see Sterling again and discover if he really did love her as much as he’d once claimed. “I’ve always been confused about my feelings toward Sterling. You know that.”
“Maybe you’re just afraid of Sterling ending up like our father.”
Violet paused. Was her sister right? “In what way?”
“Father says he loves us but doesn’t show it. When it comes down to it, he loves himself more than anyone.”
Violet nodded. She hadn’t thought about her father that way before, but Hyacinth’s insights were true. Father had always lived the way he wanted regardless of the consequences for their family. Every place they’d moved to, he’d promised Mother hewould do better, that he would keep his job, that he would stay away from the gaming tables.
Yet at every new place, he’d eventually ended up gambling again, stealing from his employer to pay his debt, getting fired, and then needing Mother to come to his rescue before they moved, and the cycle started all over again.
Mother had paid off Father’s debts so often over the years that she’d used up her sizable inheritance getting him out of trouble, leaving them with too little in the end.
Was that why Father had married Mother to begin with? Because he’d known she would take care of him?
Violet wanted to think he’d loved Mother to some degree, the same way she wanted to believe he loved her and Hyacinth. But what if he’d never really been able to love anyone but himself?
Hyacinth squeezed Violet’s hands. “Maybe you just need to know Sterling is different from Father. Maybe then you’ll finally be able to give yourself permission to love him with your whole heart instead of holding back.”
Violet lifted her head and met her sister’s gaze. “But is Sterling different? Is any man?”
Hyacinth’s eyes were filled with sadness. “I hope so, Vi. I really hope so. But I don’t know.”
