Her chest welled with such emotion that it hurt. He was her everything, he was her life, he was her future…
Was he really?
A sudden and swift fear snagged onto her chest. It was the same sudden and swift fear she’d had when she’d watched Madison take her last breaths.
The fear pulsed into her throat, choking her, so that she wrenched away from Tyler. The panic was prodding her hard, and she frantically glanced around the room for a place to go, a place that was safe, a place where she could hide from the fear.
With the pounding of dread in every step, she crossed into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. She leaned back and pressed a hand to her chest, as if that could somehow calm the wild beating inside.
What had she just done by kissing Tyler that way? What was she thinking?
20
Tyler tried to calm his uneven breathing, but he was still drowning in Kinsey’s kiss without any way to resurface.
The truth was that her kisses were life-altering. With each one, he was dying a little more to himself, and she was becoming more important.
Was that what true love was supposed to be like? A continual sacrifice for the other person?
He braced his head against the outside of the bathroom door, his knees shaking, his heart pounding, and his body thrumming.
Whatever the case, her kisses were powerful enough to undo him. He was like Samson from the Bible when Delilah had cut off his long hair and rendered him completely powerless. If the Philistines had burst into the bedroom at the ranch, they could have tied him up and carried him off and he wouldn’t have been able to resist them.
He had to get himself under control so that he could talk to Kinsey and assure her everything would be all right. When she’d pulled back, he’d seen the fear in her eyes, and when she’d run away from him, he’d known it was because she was afraid.
But of what? Had he scared her with the intensity of what he felt for her? After the talk a few weeks ago that he’d had with Dad about getting married, maybe she was worried he was moving too fast.
It was past time for him to have a candid conversation with her about their relationship. In fact, he should have had that conversation before kissing her again.
He released an exasperated sigh—one directed at himself. He was so in love with her that the second she touched him, he lost all rational thought. Every time they kissed, he lost track of reality.
He needed to be careful, go slower, and try to hold back a little bit more.
“Kinsey?” he whispered, throwing a glance over his shoulder toward the bed. His dad hadn’t moved, was still sleeping soundly. Thank the good Lord for that. Tyler could only imagine his dad’s reaction if he’d awoken to find them kissing so passionately.
Not that his dad would have been upset. No, his dad liked Kinsey a lot and had been playing matchmaker for a while. Most likely, if he’d caught them kissing, he would have called the local preacher over and tried to get them married today.
Tyler dropped his voice even lower. “Can I come in?”
“No.” Her answer was hardly more than a whisper in return.
“Please?” He didn’t care that he was begging.
She seemed to be hesitating, then a few seconds later, the door clicked open.
He pushed it wider and slipped through.
Kinsey stood against the double sink vanity, her head pressed into her hands.
He left the door open a sliver, partly because it seemed indecent to stand in a bathroom with a woman and also because he didn’t want to get so distracted that he couldn’t hear Dad in the other room.
“We need to talk, Tyler,” she whispered.
“I was just going to say the same thing.”
With her shoulders slumped, she was still cradling her head in her hands. Her breathing was faster than usual too.
He hadn’t been mistaken that she’d enjoyed their kissing. He’d felt it in the pressure of her mouth, the hunger, the eagerness. He doubted she’d liked it as much as he had. He doubted anyone ever could. But she hadn’t hidden her enthusiasm for kissing him. Hadn’t she been the one, again, to initiate it? Or maybe he had when he’d kissed her neck.
