Before he could say anything, she spun and began to cross the room to the door.
He had to talk to her. She was attracted to him. That was obvious. And she enjoyed kissing him. There was no doubt about that. Maybe she didn’t love him yet, but with time, he could earn her love, couldn’t he?
As she exited and closed the door, he finally bolted into action. He raced across the room, threw open the door, and stepped into the hallway to find that she was already nearing the door to Zaira’s room.
“Wait, Alannah.”
She didn’t listen and instead seemed to hasten even more. He lunged for her, and as she opened the door, he grabbed her by the arm and swung her back around.
“I love you.” The words spilled out before he could stop them.
She hung her head. “Don’t say it, Kiernan. Please.”
“Why? It’s the truth.”
“It doesn’t matter. It can’t lead anywhere.”
“I know you feel something too.”
She hesitated.
He could pull her into his arms and kiss her to make his point. His dreams had been filled with visions of kissing her again, and so had his waking moments, if he was being honest with himself.
But could he really use a kiss to win her? Wouldn’t that be the same as seducing or manipulating her into doing his bidding?
He released his hold of her arm. “I want you to be mine, Alannah. But I won’t force you to be with me.”
She kept her head bowed and her hand on the doorknob but didn’t move. “I knew at Oakland I didn’t belong in your world,” she said softly. “But now after staying here in your city home, I’m understanding more completely that I’ll never belong in your world. In your life.”
“That’s not true—”
She tugged at her black skirt. “I’m a maid, not the lady of the house. I’ll not be pretending otherwise.”
“I don’t care about that.”
“You deserve a woman who meets your list of requirements. And someday you’ll thank me for keeping you from making a mistake and marrying me.”
With that, she slipped into Zaira’s room and shut the door, leaving him alone in the hallway.
He stared at the dark wood paneling and lifted a fist to pound against it but then stopped himself.
He’d failed again. This time at love. And all because of that stupid list he’d given Bellamy.
Digging his hand into his inner coat pocket, he retrieved the book he’d purchased for Alannah yesterday. He bent and placed it against the door so she wouldn’t miss it when she came back out. Then he turned and forced himself to walk away.
29
Alannah’s heart ached as she listened to Torin talk about California and the possibilities that awaited him there.
She was thrilled he was alive and was getting stronger. The doctor had come by at midday, examined his wounds, and had assured Alannah that her brother had gone through the worst and the healing would get easier now. He’d even gotten out of bed a couple of times throughout the day.
Yet as happy as she was that his fever had vanished and that he was mending, the turmoil inside her was only getting worse.
“Who knows?” he said from where he was propped up against the headboard by half a dozen pillows. He’d cast off his sheet since the room was stuffy with the heat of the summer day, with only a low breeze laden with the suffocating scents of the city. “I might even give gold mining a try. Wouldn’t that be something if I found gold?”
“Oh aye, that would be something, to be sure.” She sat inthe chair beside the bed, a pair of his socks in hand as she mended the holes caused by his toes and heels.
Torin paused. “Don’t sound so excited for me.”
