But could she push aside her concerns and fears about gettingmarried and starting a family? The fears that had taken root after all she’d witnessed those last months in Tralee?
She pressed a hand against the lump in her skirt pocket, feeling the outline of the hard roll she’d stuffed there after supper. She wasn’t sure why she’d felt the urgency to save it for Cagney. But she had. How long before everything became only a memory instead of a pulsing worry that still lingered at the back of her mind?
“You are happy here, aren’t you?” Kiernan slid a sideways look her way.
Was she? Her work for the O’Briens had been easier, and Mrs. Christy had been a wonderful and kind housekeeper. But Alannah certainly couldn’t complain about Oakland.
“You’re not happy.” Kiernan’s brow creased.
“No, I am.”
“You hesitated. That means something.”
“It means I’m still adjusting, so it does.”
The creases in his forehead didn’t go away.
“What’s not to like about all this?” She waved a hand at the countryside. If she went through with the match with Kiernan—and she hadn’t decided yet if she would—then she would get to live at Oakland all the time. And she wouldn’t be working as a servant anymore, would she?
’Twas too odd to think about living in the house as a part of the family and not the hired help.
He was silent for a beat. “The work is too much.”
“No, I’m a lucky lass to have it, and I won’t be complaining.”
“I’ll talk to my mam about it.”
“You can’t.” Her response came out emphatic.
He quirked a brow at her.
She climbed to her feet, as though doing so could block him from going to his mam. “She’ll think I put you up to it and dislike me even more.”
“She doesn’t dislike you.”
Mrs. Shanahan might tolerate her but would never like her, which was one more reason not to push forward with Bellamy’s crazy idea.
“Hey now.” Kiernan reached out a hand toward her arm but stopped before touching her and instead swatted away a firefly. “My mam can be an opinionated woman, but she’ll eventually grow to like you.”
“Do you really think so?”
“Who wouldn’t like you?”
She could feel a smile working its way free. “Don’t be flattering me now. You know what they say about blarney, don’t you?”
“Remind me.”
“Soft words butter no turnips.”
“They also say: A kind word never broke anyone’s mouth.”
“Aye, so they do. But I’ve heard it said: ’Tis often that a person’s mouth broke his nose.”
His grin inched up on one side, a lopsided one that made him all the more attractive, sending her stomach tumbling end over end.
She liked Kiernan. She had no reason to deny it any longer—not now that Bellamy was working on their match.
“What are you reading?” He nodded toward the book she still held, now tucked into a fold of her nightgown.
