Trapped in a game of royal politics.
Trapped under fragile, breakable hopes.
“Your Highness.”
The voice sent her whirling away from the table and toward the door. Her guard stood on the other side of the rosemary bundles, his face cast in shadow from the stairwell. She glanced out the nearest window and saw the sun sinking over the horizon. How long had she been lost in her thoughts? Something small and wet landed on her collarbone. Belatedly she realized it was a tear, and more were pouring down her cheeks.
She cleared her voice and addressed the guard. “What is it?”
“His Highness Prince Teryn is here to see you.”
Cora’s heart leaped into her throat. He was early! No, she was late. They were supposed to meet for dinner, one she most certainly couldn’t attend. Not in this state. Not with her mind so consumed with blood magic and curses.
“Tell him…” Her voice dissolved into a quaver. She found herself unable to continue.
“Cora.” This time it was Teryn’s voice coming from the other side of the threshold. She hadn’t realized he was at the top of the stairwell too. Damn her guards. She’d have to tell the sentry at the bottom of the stairs to block all visitors from ascending from now on. Just because she was inside the room didn’t mean it was safe. “Is everything all right?”
Before she could say a word, he brushed aside the hanging herbs. Their eyes met, and his grew wide. He surged forward, ready to cross the line of salt?—
“Stop!” she shouted, charging toward the door. “Get out, Teryn!” Her voice came out harsher than she’d intended. A look of hurt crossed his face, but he halted in place—that was what mattered. It was too dangerous for him to step inside this room. He’d already done it once and she’d be damned if he made a habit out of it. Besides, she didn’t want him to see her like this. It was too late, of course. Now that she was closer to the doorway, he could fully see her through the rosemary. His gaze slid to her cheeks, and his expression of hurt shifted into one of concern.
“Cora, what’s wrong?”
She opened her mouth to try and shape her current state into words, but no sound would come. Instead, she breathed in the truth on an inhale, burying it in her heart, and donned a casual demeanor on an exhale. “It’s nothing,” she finally managed to say.
His voice deepened into a growl. “It’s clearly not nothing. Who hurt you?Whathurt you?”
“I’m fine.” A lie. The deepest of lies. She had been hurt by someone and something, but how could she express that? The thought alone made her throat tighten all over again, summoning painful memories to the surface. She’d spent most of her life keeping secrets, and for good reason. Telling the truth had rarely served her well. Evidence flashed before her mind’s eye.
Queen Linette condemning Cora’s clairsentience, calling her a witch and begging Dimetreus to have her exorcized by a Godspriest.
Dimetreus ignoring Cora’s strange powers and telling her that her insights were untrue.
The Forest People boasting of their distrust of royals.
Cora’s meeting with the Forest People elders where some denounced her for her lies. Her secrets. Her identity.
Cora gaining the acceptance of Verdian’s inquisitors only after pretending she knew nothing of magic.
Dimetreus’ new council feigning that magic didn’t exist. Fearing her relationship to the Arts. Mistrusting her motives in the tower.
She shook the memories away, reminding herself that this new situation wasn’t like the rest. This was about her and Teryn. Even so, with these wounds still darkening her past—many of which were still fresh—she found herself shrinking deeper and deeper into herself. She wanted to talk to Teryn, but she was still learning how to open up to people, especially to him. This curse was no small matter, nor were the repercussions it could have on their relationship. On her responsibility as potential future queen. She needed time to prepare for that conversation.
“Please come out here and talk to me.”
She shook her head. No. No, she wasn’t ready.
Another look of hurt flashed across his face. “We can sit in silence then. Let me be there for you, whatever is wrong.”
“No, Teryn.” His name on her lips nearly shattered her heart in two. But it was nothing compared to the pain she’d feel if he rejected her upon learning about the curse. Teryn may desire her, but what if he desired furthering his bloodline more? She tried to tell herself such a fear was silly, but it didn’tfeelsilly. It felt crippling. Smothering. Before she’d be ready to tell him the truth, she’d need to prepare herself for possible heartbreak. Fortify the walls she’d so recklessly abandoned, just in case she needed to retreat behind them once more.
She was nowhere near strong enough for that right now.
“I just need one night to be alone,” she said, tone softening.
Teryn’s throat bobbed, expression struck with agony. “I don’t want to leave you.”
“I need you to. Please. Just one night.” She wasn’t sure a single night would be enough to sort through her feelings, but she hoped it would be. She forced a reassuring smile to her lips. “Please.”
