“I appreciate your vote of confidence,” I say dryly. But they’re right. This signing is far better for me than the last. In fact, for the first time since our tour began, Edwina and I are evenly matched in popularity. Not that I’m surprised. I knew our first two shared signings would be in my favor and that the Winter Court would be in hers. From here on, we may be well-balanced.
“Sooo…” Zane taps their nails anxiously on my table, which tells me I won’t like the subject they’re about to bring up. “What are you going to do?”
“About what?”
“About Edwina. The bet.”
My stomach turns. Another thing I’ve been thinking about all day. Before today, I was enjoying our bet, our free pass. Our game of seduction and sabotage. But Cassie’s letter reminded me of what will happen if I lose our bet. And I’m dangerously close to doing so. I’m already a point behind. We can continue to trade our free pass back and forth, but I’ll never get a point ahead of Edwina. The only way I can is if I gain points with someone who isn’t her.
The thought makes my skin crawl.
“I don’t know,” I say under my breath as I rub my brow.
Just days ago I was confident I could be attracted to someone else, and perhaps that’s true. But something has shifted between us. It may be small, but it’s enough to make the thought of being with anyone else feel like a betrayal. Not just to her but to my heart.
“I don’t want to play this game with her anymore,” I admit.
“Then don’t. Ask her to agree to dissolve the bet. Then tell her how you feel about her.”
“How I feel.” I huff. “I’m not even sure how I feel or if it matters. I need to win this contract, Zane.”
“And you think winning the bet is the best way?”
I shrug. “It’s the surest way. You see how popular she is. I can no longer convince myself I can win at sales.”
“Yes, but can you win this bet? Can you bring yourself to do what you’d have to do?”
My stomach churns again, and Zane knows it. They know all about my downfall as an actor. My inability to perform intimate acts with people I’m not attracted to. Yet the terms of our betdon’t require anything more than a single exchange of physical intimacies. It could be something small. Just a kiss. I’d be forcing myself to do something I don’t truly want to do—the very thing I cautioned Edwina against.
But in turn, I would win the contract.
I could continue to pay off our debts. The mountain of bills we accumulated after Lydia’s death, from the cost of the medical treatment that couldn’t extend her life. The bills that landed firmly in Cassie’s name—not mine—as her only living blood relative.
I could free Cassie from that financial burden for good. Then she could turn all her attention to enjoying life. She could attend college and pursue her dreams. While she still has time.
It’s almost enough to counter the sinking in my heart. Almost.
“You like Edwina,” Zane says. “More than you care to admit.”
“Perhaps,” I confess, “but Cassie’s letter has reminded me how dangerous loving a human can be.”
Zane’s expression falls, their pity so palpable it could stab me straight through the chest. They shift on my table until they’re facing me more fully. “Love, Edwina is not Lydia. Nor is she Cassie.”
“Yet she’s fragile nonetheless,” I say with a sigh. “She deserves someone who won’t break her.”
The story she told me last night, about her past and Dennis fucking Feverforth, should have reminded me of that. Of how badly humans can shatter when others are careless.
It’s more than the fact that humans have naturally short lives. Or that they’re susceptible to illnesses the fae will never experience. Our kind have discovered a miracle—that a human in a close and loving relationship with a fae will experience an increase in lifespan. It’s impossible to know how long, ashuman-fae couples were nonexistent before the isle’s unification twenty-four years ago. But it’s been proven true thus far.
As has the opposite—that neglect can also impact a human’s lifespan. Negatively.
Zane’s expression hardens. “You are not your father.”
I swallow the lump in my throat. “Which is why I’m doing everything I can for Cassie.”
“Cassie wouldn’t want?—”
“I made a promise.”
