I shrug out of her grip and rise to my feet. “My place isn’t—”
My words become lodged in my throat as Myrasa reaches into the folds of her mossy skirt and extracts a ruby red fruit. She thrusts the Crimson Malus toward me, a false smile dancing over her cruel lips. “Take it, daughter. Take one bite and all the pain you’ve endured will be gone. Take it and you’ll be free from pain. Free from responsibility. You don’t need to suffer any longer. You don’t need to try and be anything you aren’t. Instead, you can live carefree with me. No longer will you suffer the consequences of your magic. Instead, you will unleash your powers, use them as you see fit, punish those who treat you badly.”
Hunger gnaws at my stomach, burns my blood. It isn’t a true hunger but a lustful, insatiable beast. My eyes lock on the apple, on the promise of freedom from sorrow. Of a numbing of the pain that stabs my heart.
“One bite, my darling,” Myrasa coos. “One bite and you’ll feel free. The best part is you can have all you want of this. We’ll relocate our pond to the very heart of a Crimson Malus grove. You will use your magic to attract food sources that will help me feed and grow stronger. In turn, I’ll help you grow stronger, to gain more control over your magic. Together, we’ll grow this pond into a lake like it once was. Ineedyou, daughter.”
The wordneedechoes through my mind, even as the dark hunger continues to writhe through me. My vision blurs at the edges, all color leached from the landscape in favor of the single ball of red held before me, radiating like a beacon under the moonlight.
I swallow the dryness in my throat, the thirst, the desperate longing for numb relief.
With a trembling hand, I accept the apple.
41
ASTRID
Myrasa’s face brightens, eyes dancing with victory as she hands over the poisonous fruit.
I turn the apple over and over in my palm. Then, with as much force as I can muster, I toss it across the clearing and send it rolling into the shadows between the trees.
When I meet Myrasa’s eyes, rage burns in them. I hold her cruel gaze without falter. “No,” I say, my tone cold. Firm. Resolute. “No, I will not accept your offer of poison, nor will I stand at your side and let you use me how you see fit. Because you need me, right? You believe I stole your magic.”
“You did steal it, daughter,” she says, teeth bared. “When you were a babe and did nothing but cry and cry and cry, I tried to soothe you. But all you wanted was to be held, to be kept dry and constantly fed. Nothing I did seemed to calm you. For months I suffered, not knowing how to make you happy. So one day, I decided to try and use my magic on you.”
I frown. “You…you tried to make me fall in love with my reflection?”
“Yes, but since I can only use my magic while touching water, I had to hold you while I stood in the lake. You were frightened of the lake, rejecting the very element that fuels your magic.”
It isn’t hard to imagine why I might have feared her lake, considering what she’d said about me disliking water in my lungs. She probably tried to force me to shift forms, dragging me under the surface to see if I’d finally become like her.
“All you did was cry,” she says. “You wouldn’t even open your eyes to look at me. Like you, I require eye contact to ignite my reflection magic. So, I admit, I resorted to draining your energy. I feed off love better than any other emotion, but I could still drain your fear. That seemed to frighten you more, but it got you to open your eyes. Finally, you looked at me and I was able to ignite my magic, to force you to feel love. But you had magic of your own, a kind I hadn’t witnessed until that very moment. Suddenly, I saw you as a vile creature, an empty, hollow monster with nothing but desperation and bloodlust in her veins. In my shock, my magic surged out of my control. Instead of draining you, I began to drain myself. I nearly sapped myself dry as I held your gaze, and it wasn’t until I dropped you that I was freed. You nearly fell into the lake, and I used the last of my energy to gather you back in my arms and place you on the shore. After that, I fell into a deep slumber as I recovered my energy. By the time I awoke, you were gone.”
“Rescued by my father,” I say, my tone flat to hide how unsettled I feel at her tale.
Myrasa scoffs. “I was grateful, at first. Not because I wanted you gone, but because I wasn’t sure how long I’d slept. Even after I awoke, I remained weak. It took months to realize why. To accept that you’d taken my magic.”
“I don’t understand. How did I…take your magic?”
“It took me a long time to understand as well, and it wasn’t until I read your maid’s first letter that everything fell into place. You were a mirror, born with a magic much like my own. But instead of reflecting back one’s best qualities and making them fall in love with themselves, you reflected back one’s worst. And when we locked eyes and I used my magic on you, your mirror magic deflected it, deflected my draining of your energy, and forced me to drain myself instead. When I dropped you and severed our strange linking of powers, I’d unintentionally transferred my magic to you. From then on, you’ve carried both of our powers—the power to form a negative impression and a positive one.”
My stomach turns at the thought of harboring this monster’s magic. The same magic that sent countless victims to their deaths at the bottom of her lake. “But…but I can’t drain others of energy…can I?”
The blood leaves my face.
Is that what I’ve been doing all along? Is that why people turn against me time after time? My mind spins at the prospect.
“No, Astrid, you did not take that part of my magic. Only my reflection magic.”
My thoughts go still. I can’t tell if I’m relieved. Discovering some dark and unknown layer to my magic would be agonizing to bear, but so is the confirmation that nothing else is responsible for all my relationships that have turned sour. Only me. Only my unintentional use of my magic.
“Even with my draining magic still intact,” Myrasa says, “I grew weaker and weaker. I must be touching my body of water to feed, but without my reflection magic, I couldn’t lure people close enough to my lake to drain them in the first place. Without adequate sustenance, my lake grew smaller and smaller. I began to sleep longer and longer. I didn’t realize how close to death I’d become until Vartul paid me an unintended visit three years ago. He’d had someone on his back, but they were fighting against the bonds of his mane. Instead of taking them to one of the larger bodies of water far from seelie cities like he normally did, he risked killing his victim nearby in my pond. When I sensed the emotion of fear suddenly flooding my waters, I fed. Awoke.
“With my mind clear for the first time in almost two decades, I saw how meager my lake had become. I grieved for the magic I’d lost and knew I had to get it back. So Vartul and I struck a deal. He’d serve me, and I’d allow him to use my pond. We’d share each victim he caught. I’d drink their energy and he’d consume their bodies. It was but a temporary solution, for without my reflection magic, I couldn’t devour love—the only truly nutritious emotion. No matter how much fear I’ve consumed these last few years, I haven’t been able to grow larger than this.” She waves a hand at her pond.
“Butyou,” she says, expression brightening. “I knew you had what I needed to regain my former glory. I set off in search of you, trying to find out where you’d gone. My only clues were the human footprints I’d found when I first awoke from slumber. Even though I’d been too weak to follow them then, I’d noted how they’d approached my shore, right where I’d left you, then led back the other way. Edmund Snow was my primary lead, for he was the only person who frequented my lake on a regular basis, and he didn’t return after I regained my meager consciousness. My investigation proved he now had a daughter named Astrid—the name I gave my own child. I knew then he was your captor. However, I was perplexed by every account I heard about you, for everyone described you differently. I suspected it had to do with your magic, but as I said before, it wasn’t until I met your lady’s maid that it all made sense.”
“So you came after me not because I’m your daughter, but because you wanted your magic back.”
