“You like the taste?”
“Yes.” His answer is deep and throaty, and I can’t help but feel like our conversation has shifted into something else. My skin starts to tingle, reminding me of the way it felt last night—as if a fire has been lit deep inside me, glowing from my very core. It builds so strong it nearly emboldens me to say something brash like I did the night before.
Do you likemytaste?
Will you taste me again?
Will you sample another part of me?
Before I can utter something so daring and ludicrous, I purse my lips tight. Because what if I’m wrong? I was this morning.
As if in answer, he clears his throat and pushes off from the tree, then proceeds through the grove once more. “I don’t smell any trespassers,” he says. “We can head to the manor.”
Disappointment weighs heavy in my stomach as I follow him. Yet I relish the hollow ache. After the condition I saw Danielle in today, I feel like I deserve it. Like I deserve all the pain I’ve experienced. Like I deserve nothing good or warm or—
Torben stops in front of me so suddenly, I nearly collide with him. At first, I think he’s been alerted to a new scent, but when I glance up at him, I find all his attention is on me. His voice comes out with an edge. “What were you thinking about just now?”
I frown, confused by his sudden ire. “I’m not…I wasn’t—”
“What were you thinking about?” he asks again, tone sharper.
A burst of anger rushes through me. I take a step away from him. “What right have you to ask?”
He shadows my step, and when I retreat from him again, he closes that distance too. My next step brings my back against one of the cherry trees. His voice deepens. “If you were thinking about anything that makes you feel guilty about what happened today, then stop.”
That only perplexes me more. Why would he be mad that I feel guilty?
I refuse to let go of my anger. Not when sorrow rests on the other side. I’m not ready to return to sorrow. I tilt my head back and give him a defiant glare. “You saw what I did to that girl. What my magic did.”
“You didn’t do that, Astrid.Shedid.”
I shake my head. “No. That was me. I can’t hide from that responsibility any longer. You know why?”
His brows knit together in question.
I surge forward and pound a fist against his chest. He neither budges nor flinches, but the feel of my hand colliding with something firm helps channel my growing rage. “Because you were right, Torben. You wereright.”
“About what?”
“About—” In an instant, my anger cracks and sorrow comes flooding in. “About my magic,” I say, my voice catching on a sob. “Icancontrol it. I’ve been able to control it all along.”
Torben steps in closer and presses his hand over mine—the one still curled into a fist on his chest. His other comes to rest on my cheek. “Just because you’ve learned to control your magic now doesn’t mean you always could. It doesn’t mean the past was your fault.”
“But it was.” Tears glaze my eyes, obscuring his features from view. In its place, I envision something else—two terrifying eyes. The same eyes I imagined in Danielle’s bedroom. I can’t see them clearly, can only feel the fear they ignite in me, the need to hide, the craving for a shield. Whether the eyes are from a memory or simply a conjuring of my mind, I know not. I do know one thing, though…
“I’ve been able to control it all along, I just didn’t realize it until today. But now I know I’m the one who ignites my magic. I’m the one who keeps it wrapped around me at all times. I’m the one who…who…doesn’t want to be seen.”
I lower my head as another sob rips through me. “You were right. Ihatethat you were right.”
“If I’m right, then you have nothing to feel guilty for. Nothing was your fault.”
“No, that’s the one part you’re wrong about. Itismy fault. Everything that has ever happened with my magic has been my fault.”
Torben pulls me into his chest. I feel his lips come to the top of my head, feel his strong arms wrap me in an embrace far more comforting than any magic. “No, Astrid,” he whispers into my hair. “You can’t blame yourself for this. You didn’t know how your magic worked.”
“I ruined Danielle’s life. She was a different person before—”
“She did that. Do you hear me? She ruined her own life. You had nothing to do with that. Everything she saw in you washerreflection. You didn’t make her react the way she did. You didn’t make her push you off a horse and nearly kill you.”
