“You’re so impatient,” he whispers in my ear.
“Why do you think that is?” I gasp back. “I haven’t felt this good in years. I haven’t known it was possible to feel this good, and now that I do, I only want to feel more—”
My words break off as he finally moves his hand, sliding his fingers over the warm center of me. He draws a slow circle over the most sensitive part of me, eliciting the most euphoric pleasure I’ve ever felt. A moan rises from my throat. I angle my body closer to him, parting my thighs to give him greater access. He slides his fingers deeper, his touch firmer, and coaxes a building wave of release. I’m on the edge of a vast chasm of pleasure, one so deep I feel as if stars are erupting before my eyes. And all I want is more. More. I reach my hand behind me, seeking the shape I feel driving against my backside. How he can handle not joining my pleasure right now is beyond me. But—just like before—he rebuffs my attempts to return the favor.
As if to distract me from my futile seduction, his fingers move faster, plunge deeper, making it impossible to do anything but ride the rising wave that courses through me. It builds and builds. I throw out an arm to grip the pillow, the sheets, whatever I can reach, as if that could possibly anchor me. Release tunnels through me, both beautiful and violent at once. I shudder with impossible ecstasy, again and again, until I’m left limp in its wake.
My limbs feel as if they’re made from water as I lie still, catching my breath for what feels like an eternity. Torben kisses my shoulder, my neck, each press of his lips tender, soothing, easing me back down from my state of bliss. When I finally manage to move my body, I turn toward him.
He meets my eyes with an uncertain look. He almost seems…shy.
In the absence of my built-up desire, I feel timid too. I’ve never been with anyone like this. Not with someone who could see me. I almost expect for him to pull away, or for the hum of my magic to snap back in place. Neither happens.
I lift a hand and place it against his cheek. “Torben,” I whisper, searching his eyes, his face, his lips. Even now that my pleasure has been thoroughly wrung from me, I still find the same dazzling beauty I noted when he first entered the room.
His lips curl into a warm smile, made even more stunning by the shyness that continues to play over his features.
My chest opens like a blooming rose, each petal unfurling as I look into his eyes. I lift my head to his and press a soft kiss to his lips. He returns the kiss with the same tenderness. It feels different from how he first kissed me. This feels…well, I’m not sure. But with how my heart glows in my chest, it almost feels like…
I can’t finish the thought. Partly because I’m tired, but also because it’s equal parts thrilling and terrifying to acknowledge what I’m starting to sense. Could I have feelings for this man? This fae male who was sent to kill me, who was supposed to be my enemy? This man who every day since we met has proven to be nothing like the callous brute I first thought he was?
And if so…does he feel the same?
A sobering thought tells me this could all be in my head, that my budding feelings could be one-sided. Torben wanted to wait until tomorrow before he’d let me touch him. Why? Did he just want to make sure my mind was clear? That I truly did want him that way?
Or was he not sure he wantedmein that way?
Did I…seduce him? Tempt him into doing something he wouldn’t normally want to do?
The prospect is almost too humiliating to bear, but I don’t get a chance to dwell on it long. Torben brings his lips to mine again, claiming them with more of that tender need.
I let my anxious musings go and lose myself in the kiss, committing the warmth of his lips to memory. Just in case I never feel them again. Just in case the morning light brings an end to whatever this was. I kiss him until I’m breathless. Until I can do nothing else but curl against him and lay my head on his broad chest, lulled to sleep by the beat of his heart.
28
TORBEN
Astrid fills my senses in every way possible. Each inhale I take fills my lungs with her aroma, her baseline scent profile mingling with the tang of sweat and a new smell—something powerfully sweet that lingers in the wake of her spent passion. The soft rhythm of her breaths, slow and steady in her slumber, hums through my ears. Her skin against mine feels more like an extension of my own flesh, some missing piece I’ve only just found again.
I angle my head and stare down at her sleeping form. She’s half sprawled over my chest, her robe strewn only over her lower half. Her cheek is pressed to my pounding heart while one arm lies across me. She’s been asleep for at least half an hour, and I’ve hardly dared move more than an inch lest I wake her. I’m too afraid that if I do, she’ll roll away from me. And I’m not ready to feel her absence.
The way her presence consumes me in this moment is something I’ve never experienced before. I’ve felt lust. Pleasure. I’ve thought I’d experienced love. But this…this is…
More.
Different.
Frightening.
I didn’t expect to feel this way. Not after what happened with my first paramour, Miss Barrister. I’d sworn off love after I learned she’d betrayed my secrets to Frank Host. While I can’t blame her for the gamble I made that lost me everything—for that is my responsibility to bear—the part she played in my demise taught me love and deception are too intertwined. My love for her made me blind to her ulterior motives. My love for my father kept me from realizing he was suffering from addiction before my very eyes. His love for my mother sent him down a tunnel of grief he was never able to free himself from.
Love has never been a virtue in my life. And ever since I lost my freedom and was conscripted into serving the Alpha Council, it hasn’t been a possibility either. I have no home. No money of my own. I’m disallowed from forging permanent ties, both as terms of my punishment and for practical reasons. The primary reason being my own and others’ safety. I’ve found myself on the receiving end of threats and attempts at revenge, all for doing as I’m told as a bounty hunter. So long as I’m the Huntsman, I’ll find myself in those same dangers again and again. And any dangers posed to me would surely transfer to a lover. I promised myself I’d never put someone I cared about in such a perilous position.
Which means Astrid…
She could never be…
Not unless…
