“He was mine to kill.”
“I’m sorry I took that from you. Please know that he died a painful death.”
“Your words do nothing to soften my heart, creature,” she says. “I will kill you in his place. Make no mistake.”
“I’d rather not kill you, Helody.”
A low laugh rumbles in her chest. “You won’t get the chance.” She rises on her hind paws with a roar, wings spread wide, talons outstretched. Then, with a ferocity she hadn’t yet shown, she charges.
With a shudder that ripples from my head to my toes, I turn myself over to my other half. My bear half.
Hands and feet turn to immense paws. My hide thickens as fur coats my body, replacing my clothing. My teeth grow longer, sharper, until they fill my muzzle. Helody’s talons reach me just as my transformation is complete. She swipes a gash over my belly, then lurches back.
She’d been going for my neck, intending to sever my head from my shoulders, but that was when I was in my seelie form. Now that I’m a bear, we stand at the same height. And unlike other fae she’s fought before—the ones she’s famed for instantly decapitating—my neck isn’t so easy to sever. She’ll need more than a single swipe. More than all the rage she can muster. It would have been the same for her fight with Murtis, had she had the chance to finish the duel. It took more than one bite for me to cleave his head from his shoulders, and Helody would have struggled just the same. However, I am not as slow and lumbering as an ogre.
I will not be so easy to kill.
Before Helody has the chance to analyze the strengths and weaknesses of my changed form, I charge her. I shove her back with my wide paws, sending her skidding before I claw a gash in her neck. She slices open my torso, then my shoulder. I ignore the pain and continue to return every strike with one of my own. The air shifts around us, and I catch sight of her wings beating on each side of her. She’s trying to lift herself out of my reach so I’ll have nothing but razor-sharp talons to contend with.
Before she can take flight, I rise on my hind legs and charge in closer. A taloned foot sinks into my belly. She tries to use that to kick off into the air, but I hook my claws into her neck. With all my strength, I slam her down to the sandy floor. In turn, her talons open a wide gash from my stomach to my thigh. Warm blood streams down my legs as she thrashes out with all four limbs, catching me with talons and paws. One searing cut strikes me after the other, but I ignore it. Not because I’m not in danger. Full fae can succumb to blood loss just like humans can. It may not be as quick or as fatal, but if I lose enough blood, I could grow weak enough for Helody to deliver a killing blow.
But the same goes for Helody.
“Yield,” I say, forcing my claws deeper into her neck, drawing just as much blood from her as she’s drawing from me. I sink my weight onto her despite the relentless gashes from her talons.
“I will never yield,” she hisses, even as blood seeps down her golden feathers. She bucks and scrapes, then finally lands a gash on the side of my face. With her hind paws, she scrambles against the floor until she’s on her side. She lifts a wing into the air and begins to flap. It sends sand into my eyes and gives her the momentum she needs to wriggle the rest of the way out from under me.
I don’t let her get far.
Shifting to the side, I reach for her wing and pin it to the ground. She cries out, and a spike of guilt clenches my heart. Wings are sensitive, and the way I crush hers now, clawing her feathers into the sandy floor, must be excruciating. She claws at my side, raking my hide with deep, agonizing cuts. I shift my hind paws to her wing and lunge for her torso. My claws find her chest, seeking the beat of her rage-filled heart. Once one paw is splayed over her thudding organ, I press the other to her neck, keeping her snapping beak from my face.
“Yield,” I say again. I sink my claws into her chest, feeling a gush of blood seep against my paw.
She goes still for only a moment, and I smell the tang of fear mingling with the scent of her blood. Then she renews her struggle. Claws me, rakes me, kicks me. But it’s no use. She can’t get far with how I’m crushing her poor wings. With how I’m digging deeper into her chest, closing around her heart.
“Yield or I must kill you,” I say, my tone tinged with desperation. “I don’t want to do that. I meant it when I said I respect you.”
“I will not yield. I have honor to uphold.” She bucks against my grip, but my claws are clamped so tightly around her heart now, there’s not much she can do that won’t force me to rip out the living drum whether I want to or not.
“You have children, Helody,” I say with a growl. “Is that not why you challenged Murtis? Because he tried to eat your daughter? If I kill you, who will protect her?”
“You will not kill me.” She snaps her teeth at the paw holding down her neck and manages to free herself from my grip. But my other paw is still clenched around her heart. I give it a subtle squeeze and she lets out a hissing gasp.
I clamp my paw over her neck again. “There is no honor in leaving your children behind. Not if you have a choice.”
Her blood continues to pour over my claws while my own streams down the gashes she continues to tear open in my hide.
Dread fills my heart and turns my stomach. When I agreed to fight Helody, I’d had every intention of forcing her to yield, not to kill her. Yet I knew there was a chance I’d have to end her life. It’s a thought that sickens me, that forces tears to my eyes.
But it’s her life or mine. Her life or Astrid’s fate is sealed. And if Astrid is innocent…
The thought of her summons the scent of bitter lemons. Fear. It’s so strong, it almost overpowers the tang of blood filling my nose.
My eyes fly to the archway I emerged from when the fight began. A latticed grate fills the dark gap, but beyond it I see Astrid watching me, fingers curled around the crisscrossed bars. Waiting to see if I’ll win or lose, if her bold plan will succeed or fail. It all depends on what I do next.
For the love of the All of All, she needs me.
I return my gaze to Helody and receive a wide slash from my ear to my neck. Giving her heart another squeeze, I say, “There is no honor in killing a child’s parent when one can avoid it.” My voice trembles as I sink my claws tighter, deeper. “I don’t want to take you from your children, Helody, but I will do what must be done. Know this, though. If you choose pride over survival, then you dishonor us both.”
