I shake my head.
She flashes her teeth. “Then will you give me back my magic? This is your last chance, Astrid. You will force my hand after this.”
“I don’t know how to give it back,” I say, my words heavy on my tongue. I sway on my feet but manage to plant them firmly on the grass. More and more of my strength builds inside me, warming me, steadying me. “Do you think I’ve wanted my magic all these years?”
“Haven’t you?”
I’m about to deny it, but the truth weighs heavy on my shoulders. Ihavewanted my magic. Perhaps not consciously, but now that I understand how my strange powers work, I know I’ve unwittingly used my magic all my life to protect myself, to keep others at a distance. All because of Myrasa, because of her neglect, the abuse I don’t even recall. Because of those terrifying eyes she forced me to gaze into as a babe, after she began to drain my energy. That was when I first used my magic. As a defense against her. It’s why I’ve automatically used it again and again whenever I make eye contact with another. Father was the only person I ever felt safe enough with to keep my magic at bay. And Torben.
Thoughts of Torben send a shard of glass through my heart, reminding me of his precarious situation, of the sacrifice he left to make. But they fill me with a steady warmth too.
With a deep breath, I close my eyes, focusing only on feelings of love. Comfort. The feeling of fur beneath my hands. The tickle of kitten whiskers against my cheek. Memories of being cherished. Cared for. The scent of paint on canvas. The sound of Father’s bellowing laugh.
Light blooms in my chest, unfurling outward until it banishes every dark feeling. Every fear. Every regret. My heart lifts, my mood shifts.
I open my eyes and meet Myrasa’s. My magic hums all around me, and I know it’shermagic this time. I’ve never tried to use my magic this way, to form a secondary impression. I always thought nothing could negate the first impression I form with my magic. But Torben proved that wrong. Torben proved I can release my magic and allow others to see the real me. So it stands to reason I can create a new impression as well. As I feel the strange shift in my power, I know it’s working. The hum of my magic buzzes the same way it does when forming an impression on a new person for the first time.
I search Myrasa’s face, expecting to find her best qualities written in her features…but I see nothing.
“Here’s your magic,” I say, my voice worn and tired. “I don’t know how to give it back, but if you know how to take it, then do so. Take it and let me leave. Never come near me again.”
She quirks a brow. “You aren’t using my magic.”
“I am.”
“I don’t see it. I don’t see anything. You’re…you’re…” Her chest heaves with sharp breaths. “You’re faceless. Featureless. I see nothing.Nothing.”
The truth slices through me like a cold knife. “There’s nothing you love about yourself.”
She takes a step back until both feet are submerged in pond water. Her expression turns panicked. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m using your magic and you see nothing. There are no qualities you cherish in yourself. Nothing to fall in love with.”
“Perhaps my own magic doesn’t work on me,” she says, but the tremor in her voice reveals her doubt.
“That’s why you feed off love,” I say. Despite my hatred for this creature, true pity forms inside my heart. “Because you’ve never felt it. Never known it. Not for yourself or anyone else.”
She squeezes her eyes shut as if she can’t bear to look at me a second longer. “Quiet!”
I gasp as I’m once again struck by that surging pull. She wasn’t closing her eyes because she couldn’t look at me…but to drain me. I try to cry out, but my breath leaves my lungs. My energy melts out of me, sending my head spinning. I lurch on my feet, and my knees give way—
Something enormous barrels between me and Myrasa. Her draining magic cuts off, and I gather in heavy lungfuls of air. Only then do I dare to acknowledge what the large shape is that stands before me. I take in the brown fur, the four paws, the two rounded ears. My heart leaps at the impossible sight of the bear.Mybear. It’s…it’s Torben. He’s alive.
Rearing up on his hindquarters, he swipes at Myrasa’s chest. A spray of blood arcs through the air before she splashes into the center of the pond. The bear turns toward me, and I close the distance between us, burying my hands in the fur around his neck.
“Torben!” The word bursts from my lips with a sob. “You’re…you’re really here.”
He gently nudges my cheek with his muzzle. “Are you all right?”
I don’t get the chance to answer. A pair of vicious hooves collide with Torben’s head. I scramble back as Torben swipes a paw at the kelpie, grazing the creature’s throat with his razor-sharp claws. Vartul lets out a guttural whinny but rears up and strikes Torben again. Torben retreats, but not to run away—to lure the kelpie away from me. I can’t peel my eyes off them, off the spray of blood that seeps between the kelpie’s teeth as he sinks them into Torben’s neck. I cry out and start toward them, desperate to help Torben—
Hands come around my wrists, whirling me away from the fight. Myrasa stands before me, chest heaving, eyes flashing with rage. She tugs me toward the edge of the pond. “If you will not cooperate or give me back my magic, then you will return to me.”
I dig my heels into the earth, fighting her painful hold, but the grass is too soft, too muddy, making me slide toward the bank instead. Her fingers tighten around my wrists, her grip so hard I fear my bones will snap.
“I wanted us to stand side by side,” she says, dragging me closer. Her feet meet the edge of the pond. She tugs me again until my feet sink beneath the surface, my shoes filling with murky water. Another tug and we’re knee deep. Then waist deep. “I wanted us to live as true mother and daughter. Instead, I will return you to the womb that created you. We will merge as one soul. One body. Perhaps I will birth you again after you’ve learned your lesson.”
“What are you—” The surging pull strikes me again, but this time, we’re nearly at the center of the pond.
