“She wants to be. You’re her pride and joy.”
I let out a humorless laugh. “She cursed me to die.”
“You’re not going to die, you idiot.”
I open my mouth, but I don’t know what to say to that. Could Nimue have been lying? She deceived me about the Alpha Council sanctioning Dorian’s death, but I’m certain she outright stated my curse.
“Nimue may have cursed you, but she’ll revoke it in the nick of time regardless of the outcome of your mission. She said as much to the Sisters when she returned from bringing you here. She has every intention of offering you one more chance to save your life. Join the Sisters, and she’ll end your curse. That’s why I feel no guilt about stealing your kill. Nor do I fear her retribution. So long as her precious daughter remains alive and of sound-enough mind to bargain for her life, Nimue will forgive me. In the end, all that matters is that you join the Sisters.”
“She knew all along that I’d fail.”
“No, she hoped you’d succeed. She’d most certainly prefer if you did, for that would have shattered your pathetic little soul, assured you’d have no other option but to become a Sister.”
“That doesn't make sense,” I say, trying to reconcile her words with the ones Nimue spoke. “Our bargain was supposed to free me from the Sisters and from my dark magic. She enchanted my lips so that my magic would dissolve with my next kiss, wove those very terms into our bargain. If I’d succeeded, she’d have no use for me because my magic would be gone. I’d have no impressive means to kill, no assets as an assassin.”
“I almost wish you’d succeeded. It might have been worth losing my chance to kill Dorian just to see the look in your eyes when you learned the truth.”
My blood runs cold. “What truth?”
“First of all, you would have been crushed once Nimue revealed Dorian’s assassination hadn’t been sanctioned. You’d have killed him thinking your dear father approved, that the entire Alpha Council supported your actions. When you learned the truth, you’d have realized just how disappointed dear daddy would be. He’d be disgusted with you. You’d have no one to turn to but Nimue. No one to rely on to keep your dirty secret but the mother you despise.”
Nausea turns my stomach. She’s right. Even if I’d never grown to have feelings for Dorian, killing him would have devastated me in more ways than one. Especially if I’d gone through with it and found out I hadn’t been following Father’s wishes after all. Worse, Father would have been crushed. Mortified. And maybe she’s right. Maybe he’d even be repulsed by me.
I can’t see you made a murderer.
Rage boils in my heart. Nimue knew exactly what to do to ensure I’d be isolated, fully dependent on her, regardless of whether I finished or failed my mission. But there’s still something that doesn’t add up. “How was she planning to utilize me as an assassin once she removed my deadly magic?”
Zara snickers. “Naive little seal. She never said she’dremoveyour magic, only make it so you never had to kill with your kiss again. Emphasis on thehad to. The truth being…you stillcould.”
“What are you saying?”
“When you killed me, Nimue studied the essence of your magic. She discovered only anger makes you kill when you kiss. A kiss given in love would have done nothing.”
Luther immediately comes to mind. I remember the searing hate that flooded me when I realized he was stealing my sealskin. All this time, I thought my kiss had killed him. In truth, my lips only turned lethal when paired with rage.
Hope and regret go to war within me. My kiss…isn’t deadly. I could have kissed Dorian a thousand times over. So long as the kiss was given in love, it never would have hurt him.
My thoughts must be written over my face, for Zara says, “Don’t give in to that little spark of relief so soon, selkie. For your next kiss will kill, no matter what you feel, because Nimue has cursed it to be so. That’s what she was really doing when she altered your magic.”
The tingling sensation in my lips burns to a painful degree. All this time, I thought that feeling was a sign that my magic was preparing to dissolve. I think back to what she said, what she promised.
I can make it so you never again have to fear your own kiss. I can enchant your lips so that your next kiss is the last that results in senseless, automatic death. From then on, you can kiss with love, with passion, with joy, and never harm a soul.
Tremors take over my body. If I didn’t already hate Nimue, I do now. She manipulated me in every way. Her words were true. Shecouldmake it so I never had to fear my kiss. All she’d have to do is reveal the truth she’d gleaned about my magic—a truth I hadn’t a clue about. Furthermore, she made it so my next kissisthe last that results in automatic death…because, unknown to me, death had never been a guaranteed result in the first place. I only thought it was. I interpreted our bargain to mean she’d dissolve my lethal power. All she did was make it more dangerous. Twisted it. She lied without lying.
Just like I so often do.
My heart clenches at that. Maybe Nimue is right. Maybe I have inherited certain things from her. I’ve lied. Manipulated. Nearly killed an innocent man. A man I…I had feelings for.
But this is where it ends.
Water continues to drip down my face, my arms, my clothes, but it no longer chills me. Instead, I let it feel like a caress. A hug. Strength. My fingers thaw, and I flex them beneath the folds of my skirt. “What happens now?” I ask. “If you can’t kill me, then what do you plan to do?”
Her expression turns cruel. “You have something I need.”
I tighten my fist, feeling the circular compact in my palm. After I raked my comb over her arm, she released the device. I snatched it then, but only now do I know I’ve managed to keep hold of it.
She takes a step closer. “I may not be able to kill you, but I will fight you, maim you. That device could send me straight back to your room, or any room in the church that I’ve been inside before.”
