He isn’t supposed to be here.
6
Iwatch the man—unconscious again—for several silent moments, torn over what to do. I can’t return him beyond the wall, for that would place him back in the sea. Even with the tide going out, there’s no refuge beyond the standing stones. He’ll drown.
After all the effort I put into saving him, can I leave him to that fate? Drag him to it?
Nausea turns my stomach and I know that I can’t. I could never bring myself to do such a thing. But I can’t help him either. I’ve already broken fae law by escorting him onto shore.
That leaves me three options.
One, report him to patrol officers and likely implicate myself in a punishable crime that could lead me to being found by Queen Nimue.
Two, aid him in seeking sanctuary with the church as requested. Another thing that could get me severely punished if discovered and risk my subterfuge.
Or three. Flee the scene and leave the man to sort out his own destiny.
It takes me no time at all to decide. I have but one choice. I made it when I first came to Lumenas. I’m supposed to hide, not play the hero. This has all been a huge mistake.
With a deep breath, I lift Podaxis in my arms and run.
* * *
I’msurprised I manage to remain on my feet as I return to downtown Lumenas. I think the only reason I’m not unconscious next to the man I left behind after my underwater ordeal is that—as a sea fae—water is my elemental affinity. While all fae have the ability to heal from most physical ailments quickly, a fae’s elemental affinity has the power to strengthen them further. Not that I feel particularlystrongright now. The shudders racking my body thanks to my cold, sodden clothes are proof of that. I just feel…not dead.
The city streets are quieter now than they were earlier tonight. They are still very much alive, but the crowds are sparser. Most of the tourists out this late are those seeking less-than-savory fare—brothels, gambling houses, vapor huts. Others are leaving public houses, weaving crooked paths as they navigate back to their hotels.
I realize I probably look much like these inebriated persons as I make my way down Halley Street, hunched over as I rub my hands over my arms to generate warmth and suppress my shivers. Thankfully I had the presence of mind to fetch my discarded clothes and shoes before I fled the bluff, but not even my dry jacket is doing much good at the moment.
It makes me think of the man I left to his fate. If I feel as awful as I do as a sea fae…how ishedoing? Could he be dead already? Because I left him?
“You did the right thing,” comes Podaxis’ voice from inside my satchel.
I shake my head, realizing I’d stopped walking.
He peeks at me from under the flap. “There was nothing else you could have done that wouldn’t have put you in grave danger.”
I nod, unable to find my voice, and continue to walk. He’s right. I know he is. It was dangerous for me to enter the sea, even more so to rescue a drowning man. What had I been thinking? What’s the point of doing something that would make my father proud when he’s not here to see it?
All my life, I never had to do much to impress Father. I’m his youngest child and the only daughter who hasn’t moved out on her own centuries ago. It’s always been just me and my brothers. Even they are much older, having reached maturity years before I was born. But, like Father, they doted on me. Perhaps a bit too much. Everyone was so protective over me, and I loved it. I was cautioned against swimming in the open ocean, so I didn’t. I was forbidden from aiding with rescues, so I watched instead. I was told removing one’s sealskin came with risks, so I remained a seal. I was always too precious, too young. Honestly, I thrived off the special treatment and I don’t think it helped that Podaxis had more trepidation than I did. To us, there was nothing better than lounging lagoon-side and having to do very little to earn anyone’s affection or approval. For the longest time, I don’t think Father ever looked at me without a warm smile stretched across his face, whether he was in seal form or seelie form.
My throat constricts as I recall the first time I wiped the smile off Father’s face…
There was a dead boy at my feet, lying with my sealskin clutched in his fist…
Father looked from the boy to me, eyes wide and empty, lips pursed so tight they were devoid of color. I expected to see shame in his eyes, rage, disappointment. But I saw none of that. Instead, I witnessed fear that transformed into the deepest sorrow.
You’re not a killer, my child.
I can’t help but wonder how much more grief I would inflict if he found out I caused another death. Indirectly this time, but still…
“Shells,” I curse through my teeth and quicken my pace. I reach Third and turn down it, heading for Orion. But when I reach Cygnus Street, I take a sharp right before I can think too much about it.
“Where are we going?” Podaxis asks, tone wary.
“You know where.”
“Maisie, you shouldn’t.”
