With a contented sigh, I rest my head on his chest, letting the sound of his heartbeat mingle with quiet waves. The sound of my love meets the sound of the sea. It’s a pairing I never knew I needed. Sunrise will come, and with it…
No, not tonight. Tonight, I’m in love.
Tonight, I’m free.
Tonight, I live.
43
Iwake a couple of hours later. The sky is still black, the stars still bright above, but I know dawn must be fast approaching. Dorian and I are draped in our discarded clothing, our bodies still nestled close. His chest rises and falls beneath my head, an intoxicating rhythm I’m tempted to enjoy just a little longer. My stomach plummets at the thought, and I know I can’t linger. Slowly, I extricate myself from him, pausing now and then to ensure I don’t wake him. He mumbles once, something unintelligible, a small smile tugging his lips. My mouth mirrors his as I brush a lock of hair off his forehead. Then, with reverent movements, I tuck his clothes over his body and don my own. Once dressed, I stand over him, wishing I could hug him.
Wishing I could say goodbye.
But I don’t. I leave him with a parting smile and make my way down the side of the bluff. When I reach the rocky shore, I perch myself close to the water, eyes on the horizon. I wait like that for minutes on end—maybe hours—relishing the feel of the wind in my hair, the smell of salt, the sound of waves. The warmth of Dorian’s skin still tingles over my own and I let the memories of our time together wrap around me like a blanket. I think of him sleeping on the bluff alone right now and hope he doesn’t wake. If he does, I pray he doesn’t look too hard for me. It’s better for us both if he doesn’t.
After a while, a clacking sound reaches my ears. I feel Podaxis settle in next to my hips. Patting his carapace, I greet my friend. I expected he would come, especially since I left my letter telling him where I was going with Dorian.
“What are you doing, Maisie?” he asks.
My answer comes out quiet, peaceful. “Waiting for the sun to rise.”
He taps his pincers together, eyes turned down with worry. “Do you think Nimue will come?”
I sigh. “If Zara’s right, then yes. She will do whatever she can to make me join her Sisters.”
“At least you’ll live.”
I worry my bottom lip. “Did you see Dorian when you got here?”
“Yes.”
“Is he still sleeping?”
“He is.” A pause. Then, “Do you think you’ll get to see him again?”
“No.” My throat tightens.
“I’m sorry,” he says, shrinking down. “I know how you feel about him.”
I believe he really does. Because it’s what he feels for Nadia. And that is why I must say what I say next. “Podaxis, I want you to leave before Nimue gets here.”
He huffs. “Try all you want, I’m not leaving.”
“Where I’m going, you cannot follow.”
“Why? Because I can’t become one of the Sisters with you? I’ll do whatever I can to stay close, even if I must haunt Nimue’s palace like a wraith.”
My shoulders slump. I knew he’d put up a fight. “You have a life here, one that’s only just beginning. One with Nadia.”
His mushrooms dim a shade paler at that, a sure sign that he knows what he’d be giving up if he follows me. “I know, but I promised myself I’d never let you off on your own.”
“That’s not a promise you should have made.”
He opens his mouth but doesn’t speak for several moments. When he does, his tone is tenuous. “I’ve always blamed myself for what happened with Luther.”
I whip my gaze to him. “Why?”
“Because I refused to come to town with you. Refused to learn to shift forms. The night you met him…I should have been there.”
