He’s right. In my haste to flee Elliot, I said my goodbyes to no one. I simply got dressed and left on foot without even looking behind me. Guilt weighs me down as I recall the promise I made to Gray—the one stating I would take care of the children, should the worst come to pass. “I thought you would be taken care of. I thought the curse would break and you’d be wolves again, running free in the mountains by now. I never would have left if I thought otherwise.”
Micah’s shoulders heave as he continues to whimper. I slowly extend my hand until it makes contact with his soft head. He lets out a bark that sounds more like a sob, then a violent shudder ripples from his head to his tail. The fur dissolves and leaves Micah’s seelie form in its place. He collides into me with an embrace. “I’m scared. I don’t want to lose my memories. I don’t want everyone to die.”
I pull him close, breathing deep to keep from unraveling into sobs of my own. “I don’t want that either.”
He looks up at me, tears streaking over his face. “What will happen?”
I crouch down. “I don’t know, Micah. First I need to speak with the king.”
He sniffles, then reluctantly pulls away. With a trembling hand, he points toward the garden.
My feet feel heavy as I leave the children behind and enter the garden. As I approach the rose courtyard, my heart quickens and my stomach churns along with it. All I can think is,what if I’m too late?
I pause just outside the courtyard, finding Elliot in his wolf form, laying on his belly. I’m struck at once by how beautiful and sad he looks, his white fur as bright as snow while his powerful build sags with defeat. His head rests on his paws, his canine expression brimming with pain. My eyes flash to the rose. It droops from a cluster of twisting, twining brambles, its stem blackened. And at its center hangs one final petal.
Elliot lifts his head and lets out a low whine. “You weren’t supposed to come back.” His voice sounds so worn, so tired. “You were supposed to be well on your way to a new life by now. You were supposed to leave and forget about me.”
With slow, cautious steps, I enter the courtyard, maintaining a wide berth around the rose, afraid a single step could cause the final petal to fall. When I speak, I keep my voice soft despite the terror, confusion, and sorrow that makes me want to shout. “Elliot, I don’t understand what’s going on here.”
He eases onto his haunches as I approach. Then, with a shudder that rips through him, the wolf dissolves and the familiar man takes his place. He remains on the ground, neither his staff nor prosthetic anywhere to be seen. One leg is propped up and bent at the knee while the amputated one sprawls out to the side.
He shifts as if he’s preparing to stand, but I sink down next to him. “Don’t get up. Just tell me what’s happening.”
He looks from me to the rose. “The curse is coming to claim us.”
“But…but you were going to marry Imogen. She was supposed to break your curse.”
His face twists with pain as he meets my eyes. “No, Gemma. After the ball, I knew there was no way I could marry her.”
A flash of anger ignites inside me as I recall what else happened after the ball. How he told me he was willing to break his own curse. I know he decided the sacrifice was too great to make, but I never would have guessed he’d reject Imogen too and choose death instead.
I ball my hands into fists. “So you’re just going to give up? Let the curse claim you and all the residents of the manor? You’re going to abandon the children to grow up without anyone they know?”
“The children will live,” he says. “That’s what matters most. And the others have made peace with their fate. They too are unwilling to lose any part of themselves to break the curse. It’s all or nothing.”
I remember what Blackbeard and Gray had said to me before, how they preferred death over a partial breaking of the curse. But…but…oh, for the love of the saints, these stubborn wolves! I throw my hands in the air. “What about you, Elliot? After everything you’ve told me about no longer hating my kind, is your wolf form still so important that you’d rather die than be stuck in a human body?”
His jaw tightens, but he holds my gaze. “If I could sacrifice my wolf form, I would.”
“What are you saying? That it’s too late? The morning after the ball, you said you changed your mind about making the sacrifice.”
He averts his gaze, and it falls on a discarded petal. Taking it between his fingers, he props an arm on his bent knee and watches the petal, eyes distant. “I came out here to break the curse that morning, just like I said I would. I had the stem of the rose between my fingers, and I paused long enough to reflect on what I was prepared to sacrifice. That’s when it dawned on me.”
The grief in his expression has my stomach in knots. Everything in me wants to lean forward, take him in my arms. Instead, I force myself to remain as still as possible. “What?”
“Do you recall the terms that allow me to break the curse myself?”
“Yes. Of the four things the curse will take from you, if you willingly sacrifice the one you value the most, you will be given the rest.”
He nods. “Ever since the curse was placed over me, I’ve known my unseelie form was what I valued most. I cared for it more than life. And it remained that way…until something changed. You came into my life. I don’t know when exactly my values shifted. It happened long before I confessed my feelings for you, I’m sure, but I think I could have at least convinced myself otherwise until that night after the ball. But once I held you, felt you, knew you loved me back…I now valued something greater.”
“What? Which of the four things do you value now, and why is it so hard for you to sacrifice?”
As he meets my eyes, his are glazed with tears. He gives me a sad, heart wrenching smile. “It’s obvious, Gemma. My memories. Before you, I couldn’t have cared less if I lost them. I had nothing worth keeping. I knew I could survive off instinct, become a similar version of my former self even if I was forced to start fresh. There was a chance I’d lose my crown if I couldn’t remember my past. There was even a chance I’d forget I was fae at all. I was all right with either situation, so long as I could live as a wolf. But now…now…if I lose my memories, I lose you. I lose everything we’ve experienced together. I lose the person I’ve become.”
My breath hitches, and I feel a sob building in my chest. Everything is starting to come together, the words he said to me the morning I left becoming terribly clear. Words I took to mean something else. I remember the ones that hurt me most—how he said he wished he could take back our night together. How, if it hadn’t happened, he could have broken the curse without losing the only thing he cared about.
Now I understand.
