His voice comes out with a hiss. “How dare you. You ungrateful—” He raises a hand but halts. As if struck by physical pain, he winces and takes a step back, shaking his head as tears glaze his eyes. When he speaks, his voice breaks. “You want to know why I hate you, Gemma?”
My breath catches, my lungs constricting painfully tight. All I can do is nod.
“Because you remind me the most ofher. Of your mother.”
His words sound so wrong leaving his lips. They should be tender, nostalgic, but instead are filled with disgust. It’s enough to build a sob in my chest, one I choke back with all the restraint I have.
Father continues. “She was wild and defiant like you. And look where that got her.”
“What are you talking about?”
“She was never content to simply be a wife. I gave her everything. Children, a home, horses to tame, and chickens to raise. Still, she wanted more than she had any right to. She insisted on inserting herself into my business too. She wanted to visit our employees in the mines, see to their welfare. She didn’t have to be in the mine the day it collapsed. In fact, I forbade her from going when reports of instability in the deeper tunnels were reported. But did she listen? No. She wanted to check in with the workers herself, make sure they were well after she learned some had died of lung sickness. That defiance killed her.”
Sympathy tugs at my heart, but it feels profane alongside Father’s condemnation of Mother’s actions. It makes me question whether he was ever the man I thought he was, even when Mother was alive. At least then he seemed kind. Happy. “You didn’t have to let it harden you,” I say, my voice trembling with suppressed tears. “You didn’t have to give up on love and push the rest of us away.”
He clenches his jaw. “I didn’t give up, but I am now. Your disobedience will be the death of you, just like it was for your mother, and I won’t wait around to watch it come to pass.” With that, he turns on his heel and stalks to the door. Before he leaves, he pauses beneath the threshold. “Tonight is the last night I will allow you in this house. Be gone by morning. I don’t care where you go.”
39
The next morning, I rise with the sun and pack a bag of my belongings. This includes only a single book, the very first in theGoverness in Loveseries. It’s the book that made me fall in love with reading, and the one I’ve read more than any other. It will be a comforting companion in this next stage of my journey. Although packing just one book makes my heart ache with longing, it won’t be long before I can buy more books again or have the space to store them.
I check my purse, counting the quartz chips I’ve collected during my employment under Mr. Rochester. Even though I relinquished my rights to the twenty thousand quartz rounds when I had him dissolve our bargain, the three thousand quartz chips I’ve earned will at least be enough to pay for several weeks at a hotel and transport to a new town. I’ll stay a night or two in Vernon while I figure out where to go next and how to get there. Once I’ve relocated, I can begin looking for work. I’ll likely have to lower my standards on what I apply for, but at least I’ll be free from this town, the rumors, and the reminders of Elliot.
Free. Just like I always wanted. Maybe not in thewayI wanted, but I shall be free nonetheless. It’s a bittersweet comfort. A somber triumph.
Dressed in my warmest dress and cloak, I leave my room with my bag in hand. Nina is in the hall, her eyes wet with tears. “I’m sorry,” she says. “I shouldn’t have encouraged you to fight Father. I never imagined he’d truly kick you out.”
I give her a sad smile and place a hand on her shoulder. “I’m glad you did, Nina. You reminded me of who I am.”
Her face contorts with grief, and she wraps her arms around my neck, sobbing into my hair. “I don’t want you to go.”
A lump rises in my throat as I rub her back. “I know. But we’ll see each other again. I won’t stray too far.”
“Where will you go?”
I shrug. Although I’ve given up on thoughts of moving back to Isola—mostly because I can’t afford it—I’ve yet to settle on my next destination. “Maybe I’ll wait until the Verity Hotel is complete, then visit my new friend Foxglove at Maplehearth Palace.”
She pulls back, eyes red. “Promise me you’ll be happy.”
I nod. “I will.”
She squeezes me one more time, then releases me. Side by side, we descend the stairs. A mix of terror and exhilaration washes over me. I have no idea what to expect. I’ve never traveled on my own before, much lesslivedon my own. But I know I can do this. I must. And just like I promised Nina, I will be happy.
We reach the bottom landing when frantic footsteps draw near. For a split second, I wonder if it’s Father coming to see me off, or even to stop me from leaving. But of course, it isn’t him; I know it even before Susan rounds the corner. “Miss Bellefleur,” she says, somewhat out of breath, “there’s someone here to see you.”
A spike of alarm rushes through me. Could it be Imogen? Or Elliot? Both together? The thought is absurd but sends my mind reeling just the same. “Who is it?”
“I don’t recognize her. She’ll only say that she’s a friend.”
Relief and disappointment root me back to the ground, and after a few steadying breaths, my head stops spinning. I give Susan a nod. “I will greet her at the door, whoever she is.”
Nina remains at my side, looking just as perplexed as I feel.
It’s probably some random person I’ve met in passing, coming to make my acquaintance,I tell myself.Or perhaps it’s a detestable reporter, here to take my statement on the latest scandal circulating town.
I steel myself against whatever confrontation awaits as we draw near the front hall, but nothing could have prepared me for the figure I find standing just inside my door. I stop short, eyes wide. “Bertha?”
The fae woman smiles wide and closes the distance between us. Before I know what’s happening, I find myself wrapped in her embrace. My arms return the gesture before my mind catches up.
