He nods. “He took a different way back to the hotel. I told him I wanted to find you first.”
“I’m worried,” I say. “Mr. Duveau is the councilman who holds the Legacy Bond with my family’s names. He’s not a good man.”
“Do you think he’ll hurt her?”
I shrug. “He made me a bargain that I could do whatever I wished before her trial, so long as I vowed to attend. He promised he wouldn’t hurt her in the meantime.”
Silence falls between us, and with it, the energy between me and Aspen hums like it did in my room. His posture stiffens, fingers twitching and closing into fists.
When he speaks, his voice is quiet. Strained. “Did you mean what you said to her?”
My eyes flash to his, breath hitching. “About what?”
“Finding happiness with me.”
I swallow the lump in my throat and give him a hesitant nod. “Does that bother you?”
His brow furrows, a pained expression. “Why would it bother me?”
A blush of anger rises inside me, heating my cheeks. I’m so tired of this discomfort, this divide between us. “I don’t know, Aspen, why would it? Why do you seek to protect me, take comfort in my safety, then act revolted whenever you’re alone with me?”
“I’m not revolted.”
“Then what is it? Why do you keep doing that?” I point to his trembling fists.
His words come through his teeth. “I can’t stand to be around you because it feels impossible to do so without having you in my arms.”
I study his face, reconciling his words with his posture, his tense shoulders. “And that’s a bad thing?”
“Yes, it’s a bad thing when the effort to keep away from you feels like a blade in my chest.”
A thousand questions pound through my mind.Why do you want to keep away from me? Why am I causing you so much pain? Why do you sound like you want me, yet act as if you despise me?But no words make it to my lips. Nothing comes but tears and tremors as I try to gather my thoughts into something coherent.
Aspen closes his eyes and lets out a sigh. With it goes some of his rigidity. “It’s a bad thing when this is your last night here.”
I almost argue, almost reveal my plan. My fear over its improbability keeps my lips pressed tight.
Aspen continues, voice breaking. “It’s a bad thing when I’m not sure if there’s someone else you’d rather be with.”
A tear rolls down my cheek, and I hardly know why I’m crying. My words come out a breathless whisper. “There’s no one else.”
His jaw shifts. “No one? No one you’d rather spend your final moments on the isle with?”
My flash of anger ignites again, and I take a step toward him. “No, Aspen, there’s no one else. There’s never been anyone else and there will never be anyone else.”
His expression flickers with a hint of vulnerability. “Not even the Lunar Prince?”
Irritation sends another wash of ferocity through me. “No. How can you ask me that?”
“You kissed him,” he says through his teeth. “I saw the two of you together. Then I saw how you bargained for his life, trading every last chance of your freedom for him. I watched you run to him when he was injured like he was the only person left in the world. Then you brought him here.”
“I didn’t choose for him to come here,” I say. “Nyxia did. But he has every right to be here because he’s my friend. When I bargained for his life, I did it because it was the right thing to do. I treated his injuries with care because he was my patient.”
“And the kiss?”
Guilt seizes me, and I have the overwhelming urge to defend myself, to tell him all the misconceptions and mistakes that led to that moment. I want to beg for his forgiveness, to convince him how badly I wanted that kiss to have been with him. But there’s a calm warmth beneath my guilt, something that feels far truer. “Yes, Aspen, I kissed Prince Franco. I kissed him because in that moment and in that situation, I wanted to.”
His eyes narrow, but I refuse to shrink beneath that look.
