“Rage is an element of fire,” she says gently.
“Why am I only able to do this now?”
“This isn’t new, my love. You’ve always been able to manipulate fire, although I must say, never in such a literal sense.”
“What do you mean?”
“Why else do you think you have always been drawn to the healing arts, Evelyn? The element of fire is more than physical flame. It’s deeper. It encompasses pleasure, passion, anger, creativity. In healing, it’s the life force energy that animates living beings. I channel that life force into every tonic I make, let it flow into every spell and charm, even when working with the earthen elements I favor as an herbalist. You work with the same life force too, my dear.”
My eyes search hers, a chill of understanding crawling up my spine.
She continues. “You’ve always held the talent to heal, to weave someone’s inner fire, to strengthen their life force. You used it long before you picked up a scalpel.”
My mind spins with memories. Lorelei’s leg. Aspen’s surgery. The silly motions I performed when I was a child, laying my hands on Mother’s shop patrons. “I wish you would have told me.”
“I tried, Evie. You didn’t believe me.”
I want to argue, but she’s right. When I stopped believing in magic, I stopped believing inher. Started ignoring everything she had to say about magic and her craft. “I had my reasons,” I say. Despite my best efforts, I can’t hide the note of condemnation in my tone.
As if she can read my mind, her shoulders slump. “I know, my love, and I don’t blame you for it. Magic isn’t infallible, and I will regret failing your sister every day for the rest of my life.”
“Why did it happen? If you have these healing gifts, why didn’t you know how to help Amelie when she almost died?”
“Do you remember what happened the morning before you and your sister left to play in the woods?”
“No. Nothing out of the ordinary.”
“I was caught in a downpour on my way back from delivering Mrs. Collins her draught. I caught a terrible chill from it.”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“An attack by water weakens fire, Evelyn. That’s an important factor you need to know for your own good.”
I’m frozen with a sudden realization. I recall how weak I felt after my near drowning with the kelpie, how it took me three days to recover. I remember how awful I felt waking up with water in my lungs after Cobalt trapped me in the coral cage. Each time I’ve been injured underwater, I’ve suffered greatly from it.
“If I’d been at my full strength, I would have known there was no curse on your sister, that her discomfort was due to a physical ailment, not a magical one. I never should have tried to rely on my powers in such a state, and I should have taken her to Mr. Meeks at once. I’ll live with that guilt always.”
My throat feels tight as I take in the shame on her face. I sigh. “That doesn’t matter anymore.”
“It matters if you can learn from my mistake.”
“What’s there to learn?” I let out a bitter laugh. “In two weeks, we’ll be going to the mainland and I’ll never be bothered with magic again.”
“Despite what you think now,” Mother says, “being stripped from your magic is no laughing matter. When we get there, you’ll see what I mean.”
“Does that mean you’re done fighting me on this?” I lift my brow. “You’ll go peacefully to your trial and not try to convince me or Amelie to run?”
It’s her turn to bark a cynical laugh. “I don’t have much of a choice, Evelyn. Mr. Duveau holds me in this cell by the power of my name. After he escorts me to the Spire, I’ll no doubt be restrained with water. So, if bygo peacefullyyou mean do what I’m forced to do, then yes.”
“Mother, we have no right to be here.” My rage threatens to return, to argue against my own statement, but I breathe it away. For good measure, I cross my arms and tuck my hands beneath my elbows. “If our presence on the isle means war, then this is a sacrifice we must make. We have to save the treaty.”
I can tell she’s resisting the urge to disagree. “I wish you’d reconsider,” she whispers. “I won’t force a promise from you, but I will implore you to take your sister and find allies who will protect you. Claim the life you deserve.”
My inner fire begs to rise and meet her offer, but my good sense tamps it down. “I’m not a revolutionary, Mother. I’m a surgeon. And I’m going to stand at your side from now until death and make the sacrifice that saves the most lives.”
She nods and lets out a heavy breath. “I know. This is who you are.”
I lift my chin. “It is.”
