“You do, and I understand wanting to deny that. I too have denied emotions before.” I think about how I suppressed my tears after I thought Amelie had died, how I refused to recognize my attraction to Aspen.
“Humans can deny them?” His tone is curious.
“Yes, but it doesn’t make them go away.” I take another deep breath. “The water in you is the water in me.”
I expect the violet kelpie to disappear like the others, but it doesn’t. He just stands there, considering me. Perhaps I wasn’t convincing enough. Finally, he lets out a slow hiss like a sigh. “I will take you to the All of All.”
I hesitate. “I told you, I won’t bargain with you again.”
“If you are not lost, I will not require a bargain.”
I watch him for a few moments, seeking hints of deception. Logic is telling me not to trust the kelpie, but my heart feels calm. “Fine,” I say and climb upon the kelpie’s back. Steadying my hands on the creature’s neck, we take off into the darkness. Time swirls around us, racing and reversing. Hours pass. Seconds pass. No time at all has passed.
Before I know it, I am on my feet, and the kelpie is nowhere to be seen. I’m again in the black void. A voice speaks into my mind, but it sounds like no voice I’ve ever heard before. It’s quiet and loud, powerful and meek. “You seek us.”
“Are you the All of All?” My voice sounds harsh against the emptiness, returning no echo, no resonance.
“We are the All of All,” the voice says. “What are you?”
“Human,” is all I can think to say. “I am petitioning on behalf of King Aspen for the Autumn Court throne.”
“What is it you offer us?”
My mind goes blank. No one said anything about an offering. Besides, what could I possibly have to offer all that is and all that is not? I’m nothing special, have nothing special. Cobalt has lies, words, conviction, passion. I have those things too, but how could mine compare to his? What do I have that he has not? “I…I don’t know.”
Silence.
I begin to tremble.
“You can offer us a look at your heart,” the All of All says. “If your heart is true, we will allow your petition to pass. Do you agree?”
I swallow hard. “Yes.” With a jolt, a ball of violet light escapes my chest to hover in the air before me. Images swirl inside it, memories. I see myself, Amelie, Mother. I watch myself giggle and laugh, then scream and cry. I watch as I hug Mother, then shout hurtful words at her. I see myself turn my nose at the sight of Maddie Coleman, watch as I help Mr. Meeks perform an amputation. The violet ball goes still, then shifts. It’s Aspen’s face I see now. I see myself shouting at him, ignoring his smiles, his jests, his flirtations. Then I watch as I fold myself into his arms, lips pressing into his. I watch as I face him as a stag, hand outstretched as I give him my name. Then I see myself on the balcony, using that very name against him.
The violet light goes still again, then lurches back into my chest. Panic seizes me. There’s no way the All of All will allow my petition to pass after seeing all of that.
“Your heart has darkness,” the All of All says. “It also holds light. It is smooth and rough, holds hate and love. It is both a wild beast and a tame creature.”
There’s no use denying it. “Yes.”
“This is a true heart.”
Surprise ripples through me. “It is?”
“There is magic inside it. Things you don’t yet understand. Things you will explore.”
I nod.
“We have made our decision.” Before I can respond, the darkness explodes into thousands of particles of violet light. It surges around me, pushing me back. The breath is stripped from my lungs as I lurch through the void, feeling it rushing past me as I’m tossed backward.
With a lurch, I slam into the back of my throne. I open my eyes, meeting the astonished faces of the council. A collective gasp roars through them. I feel a hand on my shoulder and meet the wide eyes of Lorelei. Foxglove covers his mouth with his hand, gaze sliding to my brow.
That’s when I feel the weight on my forehead. I reach a hand, finding something firm surrounding my skull like a…a crown.
I lift it from my head and find a gold circlet decorated with strange, swaying feathers. Or perhaps leaves. It’s delicate and exquisite and breathtaking all at once. My eyes find Aspen’s. His expression is equally as awed as everyone else’s.
“No,” Cobalt says with a gasp as he rises to his feet from the throne. “How?”
I ignore him, brushing past him and Nyxia and the dumbfounded sea fae guards toward Aspen. When I reach the king, I bow and hand him the crown. “The All of All has chosen.”
