After my confrontation with Aspen, I only feel numb. “I don’t think I’ve had enough time to process it all. I don’t know how to feel or what to do.”
“I still can’t believe he’d do this. I know exactly why he’s doing it too. He can’t stand the idea of looking weak next to me, of the advantage it would give me if I were the one to secure the treaty with a marriage instead of him.” He gives my hands a squeeze, expression pained. “He can’t take you from me.”
“Apparently, he can do whatever he wants.” My voice is cold, bitter.
His hands move to my shoulders, bringing me closer to him. I can feel the coolness of his palms through the fabric of my dress. He lowers his voice. “Not if we act first.”
“What do you mean? What could we possibly do?”
“We could leave together,” he says, tone pitched with a blossoming excitement. “Perform the mate ceremony, then get married in secret. Our marriage would keep the treaty intact.”
“But your brother,” I argue. “He would never let us live after such a betrayal.”
“We could fight him. We’d find no shortage of allies who would stand against him. I already told you how the council feels. They don’t want him on the throne if he keeps acting this way.”
For a moment, I let the fantasy take hold, let the idea weave images through my mind. I imagine me and Cobalt running away together, imagine us rising against Aspen, watching the council pull the throne out from beneath him. I think of a court ruled by Cobalt, gentle, kind, and fair. I think of the peace his steadfast nature would bring his people and mine. It’s a beautiful fantasy, but I know it’s just that. A fantasy. Cobalt may be able to gather allies, but is that enough to beat Aspen without getting himself killed in the process? And what about me? There’s no fight left in my bones. Not after what happened to Amelie. Not after the hateful words spoken between me and Aspen.
“No,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper. Slowly, I reach my hands to cover his, then pull them away from my shoulders. I give his hands a gentle squeeze, enjoying the coolness of his fingers, before I release them and take a step back. “I can’t put you in danger.”
“I don’t care about the danger. I care about protecting you.”
I offer him a sad smile, then pat the dagger at my thigh. “I’m not vulnerable.”
“But I care about you.”
My throat tightens. “If we care about each other at all, the best thing we can do is protect each other from Aspen’s wrath. You may not care about the risk, but I do. I won’t be able to live with myself if Aspen tries to hurt you. In fact,” I take another step away from him until my back is against the door, “this is the last time we can meet like this. I won’t do anything that rouses Aspen’s suspicion against you. You saw what he nearly did to the servants.”
He looks down at his feet, shoulders slumped. When he lifts his head, his expression sends shards of glass into my heart. “This is really what you want?”
I nod, then reach behind me for the handle.
“My feelings won’t change.” His voice breaks on the last word. “I’ll do what I can to protect you, even if you become his wife.”
“Thank you,” I say, then open the door. I’m about to step into the hall when Cobalt stops me with a word.
“Wait.”
Our eyes lock, and he closes the distance between us, hands framing my face. His lips find mine and press them into a firm kiss. It happens so fast, I can hardly comprehend it, much less enjoy it. I’m too stunned to move. If I were Amelie, I’d put my arms around his waist, pull him close to me, part my lips to allow the kiss to deepen.
But I’m not Amelie.
Thoughts of my sister drain me of all potential passion, making my shoulders go rigid. Cobalt must be able to tell, because he gently pulls away. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I just had to do that once.”
“I—I’m glad you did.”It might be the last kiss I’ll ever have,I think to myself.
“Also…there’s something you should know. It’s about the mate ceremony.”
The worry in his eyes sends a chill down my spine. “What is it?”
“Aspen still plans to go through with the mate ceremony as previously scheduled, which will be in four days’ time. Afterward, you’ll be expected to participate in a fae ritual. You must refuse.”
I remember what Foxglove had said about the mysterious ritual before we got sidetracked by talk of mating. It occurs to me I’ve yet to get a clear answer on what it involves. I furrow my brow. “Why?”
“Because it would mean giving my brother your true name.”
My true name.That’swhat the fae sacred ritual is all about? My blood goes cold.
I’ve seen what a regular glamour nearly did to Amelie, but that’s nothing compared to what a fae can do when he’s been told he has your true name. Mr. Meeks says the hormone the fae release during prolonged eye contact is an unintentional function of their biology. Yet it’s hypothesized that fae custom is the only thing preventing them from secreting the hormone purposefully and in greater quantity. Thetrue nameitself has no meaning. There’s no secret name to utter, no chant to perform. It is but a statement that you are on a level of deepest intimacy, which to the fae, means they can do whatever they wish to you.
