Aside from that night the cave beast attacked me, I’d never known violence before coming to Tar Mesa. I’d thought myself braveall those nights I’d spent in the tunnels of the rebellion, longing to step foot in the sun and fight in battles I had no place in. Only now did I see the beauty I’d been offered, that Imelda and my human family had provided me with.
“Occasionally, the mouse’s bite carries a deadly disease. But it is still just a mouse, at the end of the day,” Mab said. I watched Estrella’s jaw tense as she swallowed back her rage at the insult. She drew it within her, storing it for motivation later when the time was right.
At first glance, I would think Estrella impulsive, that her small aggressions toward Mab were parts of her that should have been contained. But I knew her better, and saw the deep well of rage that existed within her. The comments she made and the fights were nothing compared to what she stored for later, and Mab would be wise to fear the day that Estrella could act on that anger in truth.
“What do you want from us?” Estrella asked, glancing at me. I saw the drive there, the need to protect me against any and all threats. I felt the same, but whereas I felt limited in what I could offer while keeping the growing magic within me a secret, Estrella’s strength knew no bounds. She would suffer. She would hurt. She would walk to the ends of the earth if it meant saving me from the fate she’d already been forced to endure in Tar Mesa. While Mab had tortured me to attempt to draw out my power, it was nothing compared to what I’d witnessed her doing to my friend.
Estrella’s strength came in fighting, and it showed. Mine had always been in secrecy.
“I only have the energy to invest my time into one of you. I have no desire to make that decision, so the two of you will determine who remains here with me,” Mab said, waving a hand as if it were inconsequential to her. My heart dropped into my stomach, even though I’d already known she hadn’t cared for me in the slightest. The confirmation that she would send me away if I was less useful than Estrella was still a swift kick to the gut and made me miss the human parents who had loved me all the more.
It was also a relief at the same time.
“Will the one who does not stay go free?” Estrella asked, sensing the trap in Mab’s offer. There was no way she would ever allow anyone to escape her clutches freely; rather, she would kill whomever she did not keep. But I would gladly die if it meant Estrella had a chance to live with Caldris, to know serenity and peace with the love of her life.
All I wanted was freedom. Freedom to roam and discover theworld I’d been kept from all my life. Being trapped in Tar Mesa with Mab meant I had only exchanged one prison for another, and I was so tired of cages.
I wanted to live a life I chose without fear of having it ripped away from me.
“Of course not,” Mab said with a cruel laugh. “Etan is in need of a wife, and is owed one for the loyalty he has shown me during my brother’s reign as King. Whoever does not remain with me shall be betrothed to him and return to the Summer Court with him after the Tithe.”
Estrella’s eyes widened, her arm twitching at her side as if she meant to raise it in shock. She twisted her head, her jaw working as if she’d swallowed a rock and needed to force it down. “I have a mate,” she said, turning to look at Etan cautiously. He shifted uncomfortably, clearly bothered by the idea of taking another man’s mate as his wife.
“It is adorable that you think I care about such trivialities. Political marriages happen all the time. Caldris will learn to share you and remember his place,” Mab said, dismissing the notion that acting outside of the mating bond would beagonizing. For both Estrella and Caldris. There would be no pleasure in being bound to another man, only suffering and pain. While Estrella likely wouldn’t have to share Etan’s bed in a political marriage, the separation and very notion of being bonded to another in any way went against the conventions of the Fae.
But Mab didn’t care, because she was just as likely to murder a mate out of spite. Love and mate bonds held no power over her.
Estrella smiled through the pain, and I knew she was confronted with the images of the carnage Caldris would unleash if anyone even attempted to claim her as his. “I somehow doubt that,” she scoffed. She turned her head, her face twisted with sadness. I knew she didn’t want to leave me to that fate, but that was the only path forward.
“It’s okay, Estrella,” I said, my eyes filling with tears. The thought of leaving her here, of abandoning her to this place that was so determined to break her, was enough to tear me in half.
She shook her head, pursing her lips to fight back tears of her own.
“Whoever displays the magic I wish to see first will stay here with me,” Mab said, interrupting our moment.
“And if neither of us do?” Estrella asked, prepared to simply refuse to make the choice. If neither of us chose, would we simplycontinue on as we already had been? How long could we keep going that way?
“Then I’ll marry the other one of you off to one of my other allies. Perhaps a far crueler one than Etan. I have done you a kindness in selecting him. He is not a cruel man and will not be a cruel husband. He is distant and pragmatic, but will see that your needs are met. I would tolerate nothing less for my daughter,” Mab said, turning to me with a knowing stare. “Even if she does not obey me.”
She knew beyond a shadow of the Veil that I would be the one she sent to this marriage. She knew it would be Estrella who displayed her power and remained behind, hoping and waiting for the moment when she and Caldris could be free together. She knew, and she was willing to sacrifice me to force Estrella’s hand and drive distance between us by putting us in charge of the decision.
After centuries of searching, I’d proven to be a waste of effort. A waste of time.
The Veil had been erected to keep us from Mab, to protect us from being raised in her image.
And for what?
I stepped forward, turning my back to Mab and placing myself between her and Estrella. I took my friend’s hands in my own, stroking my thumb over the circle on the back of her hand. I ran my touch over the Fae Mark, the reminder of the bond that mattered more than ours, summoning that connection to the surface to remind Estrella of everything I was willing to sacrifice myself for.
Etan would not ever love me because I was not his mate, and I could not possibly love a man who would willingly align himself with Mab. With every day that passed, it became more and more clear that there was no love for me, not the kind that Estrella had found with Caldris.
She deserved to have what she had already found and suffered for, and there was always a chance that Etan and I could come to our own arrangement. Maybe he could allow me to have some form of freedom so long as I didn’t interfere with his plans. Maybe my place as his wife would allow me to at least travel through Alfheimr, even if it didn’t offer freedom in the truest sense. Whatever he offered, there was every chance it would be better than Tar Mesa.
My palm touched the white teardrop of our blood vow on her hand, and the pulse of magic spread through me at the same moment Estrella shivered.
“It’s okay,” I said, my hand trailing up the white marks on herforearm. My fingers tingled with warmth, as if my touch alone could bring forth the magic she fought to suppress and keep hidden from Mab.
She shook her head again, the denial rising on her lips. “I can’t,” she protested.
