I stopped with my hand only inches from the door, the sound of voices on the other side giving me pause. One was distinctly Beelzebub’s, but I didn’t recognize the other one. I did, however, recognize when I was the subject, laughter in his voice that felt mocking and cruel.
“What’s up with you and the Red witch? You two looked awfully cozy last night,” the man said. I swallowed, piecing it together as Beelzebub chuckled in response.
“Margot? It’s nothing like that,” Beelzebub said, making my heart plummet into my stomach. I took a step away from the door, uncertain if I wanted to continue listening to the truth of how he saw me. He’d done such a good job convincing me he was interested in me, genuinely making me wonder if I’d been wrong to dismiss him as the same as all the rest. “Just having some fun since I’m stuck with her until I get her back to Lucifer.”
“Ah, just another conquest then. I wondered how you thought that would work when…” the other man said, but I was already retreating fully from the door, climbing back into the bed and sliding beneath the covers. I wanted nothing more than to find clothes, to dress myself before he could return so I wasn’t half naked in sleep clothes and vulnerable. But I couldn’t seem to movethrough the anguish tearing me in two, my hand rising to touch my chest where my heart felt detached and numb, as if it had simply stopped pumping blood through my body.
The door opened as I looked out the windows on the opposite end of the bedroom, staring at the mountains where the condemned rolled a boulder crafted from gold up the side, doomed to repeat that fate every day, never truly possessing the treasure they sought so desperately. I related to that more than ever as I avoided looking at Beelzebub, knowing that I would have to continue through the circles of Hell with him at my side, stuck in this new knowledge that changed everything.
How could I look at him again, knowing it had all been a lie? And one he hadn’tneededto tell me at all. We were stuck together regardless, so a game like this felt impossibly cruel.
“Good morning, songbird. How did you sleep?” he asked, coming to the bed and sitting on the edge. I curled my knees into my chest as he reached out to touch the top of my thigh through the blanket, putting a stop to the contact that he no longer had any rights to.
“Fine enough, I guess. When are we leaving?” I asked, pursing my lips as I studied those souls, hopelessness seeping in. The odds that I would ever be free of this place seemed to dwindle with every day, because I had no way of knowing if Beelzebub even intended to keep to his word about returning me home. He could just as easily claim something horrible had happened to me here and abandon me.
Lucifer would never know the difference.
The urge to confront him about what I’d heard and keep it to myself warred within me as he studied me intently, his body tensing as he took in the clear change in my demeanor. “We can leave as soon as you’ve eaten something. Are you feeling alright?” he asked, and it was that gentle tone that I’d gotten so used to hearing all over again, the cruelty and mocking gone like they had been a mirage.
“I’m good,” I said, shoving the blanket back. It hit Beelzebub as it went, making him jerk back in surprise as I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood. Making my way to the closet, I searched the clothes that had been left there for souls passing through, scanning for a pair of pants and a top that would suffice. I missed my own closet; even if it wasn’t filled with things I would have chosen for myself, at least they were mine.
I missed the safety of my bedroom, missed being alone, where I was far safer than I could ever be out in the open like this, with a demon as my companion—however unwilling and burdened he might be by my presence.
I took the first outfit that looked like it would fit, uncaring that it was black and not my house colors. I stripped the camisole over my head with my back to Beelzebub, attempting to ignore his sharp intake of breath as I did so. My sleep shorts followed, falling to the floor so I stood there in nothing but a pair of panties that cut high on my hips and ass. I knew I’d shocked him, my nudity never something I chose to actively engage in.
The harsh truth was that the numbness surrounding me felt far too much like the place I retreated to when I was hurt and just wanted to get my suffering over with. When my mom and aunt put me through a particularly difficult training session to attempt to lure my magic out, or when I had to tolerate being fed from for the Reapings, I sank into the deepest part of myself, where nothing in the physical mattered anymore.
That was where I’d gone to escape the sting of Beelzebub’s betrayal. His opinion no longer mattered to me at all. He was just another man looking to use me, and I knew what to do with that. It was themorethat had made me nervous, the idea that he would stick around for longer than it took for him to realize I would not end up in his bed.
The bed squeaked as he stood, and I shoved one of my legs into the first hole of the pants. The other followed and I jumped to raise the pants into place, hurrying as I felt him approach.I readied myself for the altercation that was doomed to follow, for him to attempt to touch me in ways I didn’t want. Instead, his fingers barely ghosted over the small of my back, tracing the lines of the faint white scars that were only visible in certain lighting.
I waited, the moment hanging between us as he took in the sight of what none had ever bothered to notice before him. The shirt was gathered around my elbows as I prepared to tug it on, but I couldn’t seem to move with the knowledge that hesawme. It seemed so wrong for him to be the one to know the secrets I kept, when he didn’t bother to actually care about what they meant for me. “Sometimes I dream that he isn’t already dead,” he said, his voice soft and tormented. I pulled away, finally yanking the shirt over my head. It settled into place as I adjusted my breasts, lifting them into place within the tight fabric before tugging on my socks and shoes.
“How nice for you,” I said, stepping away. Beelzebub reached out, grasping me at the elbow to prevent me from escaping. His brow furrowed as he stared down at me, probing me for answers that I wouldn’t give him. He’d only lie and make excuses if I confronted him, so I decided to use the knowledge to guard myself against his vicious attacks on my heart.
“I dream I have the opportunity to make sure he suffers the way he deserves,” Beelzebub said, acting as if that would do anything to change my behavior.
“Look around you,” I snapped, tearing my elbow from his grip. I gestured to the windows with the view of the horrific punishments that happened on display, that the demons who resided in Hell found pleasure in witnessing for their own entertainment. “When will it ever be enough? Don’t you think there is enough cruelty in this world as it is?” I asked, watching as horror played over his features. I blinked, surprised by the moisture of tears that clung to my lashes. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d cried for anything other than what Itan had done. The last time somethinghad penetrated the misty haze around my heart so thoroughly to affect me this deeply, and I hated him all the more for it.
The first tear fell, trailing down my cheek as I shook my head harshly, turning away from him and making my way to the door. “No. I won’t be the reason you use to justify this on your conscience. You want to punish him because you’re a fucking demon, and that’s what you do. You’re cruel and you hurt and—”
“What did I do?” He closed the distance, reaching down to cup my cheeks in his hands as I shoved him away, forcing him to take a step back. He was such a good liar, his words sounding so heartfelt that my mouth twisted in pain, my throat threatening to close.
“Don’t touch me,” I snapped, holding out a hand to keep him at bay.
“Songbird, I can’t fix it if you don’t talk to me,” he pleaded.
I forced steel into my voice, raising my chin and glaring at him through lidded eyes as I turned for the door. “Some things can’t be fixed, Beelzebub. This is one of them,” I said as I passed, ignoring his sharp intake of breath. It threatened to sink inside of me, to rattle around in my lungs as if it were my own.
But it didn’t. Instead there was only that gaping emptiness and rage within me. So much rage that it threatened to light me aflame.
“Alright, let’s just get you something to eat and then we’ll go,” he said, hurrying to take up pace beside me as I made my way through the disgustingly opulent hall. People were suffering, all while these assholes lived like treasure hoarders.
“I’m not hungry,” I mumbled, hurrying down the stairs to the front door.
“You need to eat something,” he said, moving to stand in my path before I could walk out and leave Greed in my rearview. “At least—”
“I said I’m not hungry! Get out of my fucking way,” I shouted,watching as Beelzebub looked at the crowd that had started to gather to watch my display. I wanted to embarrass him, wanted him to feel only a moment of the humiliation I felt knowing that he’d played me like a fiddle and I’d been stupid enough to fall in love with the sound it made.
