The Tribunal members were meant to be the conduits for their houses, for all magic to channel from the Source and through them. How could that happen if the connection had been tied into a knot?
I didn’t want to be the person who put my need to keep Beelzebub at arm’s length before the needs of my people. The thought of playing games with him and watching him kill anyone I tried to touch didn’t horrify me as much as it should have after learning they’d recover, but it would be a waste of time. I understood the resolution written into the lines of his face. He was determined tomake that not an option for me, and I wasn’t even certain it was something he could control.
Heaving a deep, aggravated sigh, I swung my leg over his, lowering my body slowly until I straddled his thighs. The feel of him between my legs made me pause, but I reminded myself I was in control of this situation. This was a choice, and while my options hadn’t been great, this was the one I’d chosen. I could walk away. I could wait out the spell and then he would no longer desire me.
But I wanted to move on. I wanted to get the fuck out of Lust and away from the heat that swirled in my belly, only getting stronger as I stared down at Beelzebub.
I chose this, and there was no denying the familiarity and warm comfort that came from trusting Beelzebub to let me guide us through it. I wouldn’t have been able to say the same for a stranger I grabbed from downstairs.
His eyes met mine, his brow cocked to show that of all the plans I could have executed, this was the one he hadn’t been expecting. “Your hands stay bound,” I said, my voice quiet as I raised my hands to his chest. I touched him, fighting back the tremble in my hands as I glided them lightly over his skin. His runes glowed brighter as I touched them, his eyes falling lidded as I finally tucked my face into his neck. My lips touched his jawline, a teasing glide as I made my way to his ear. Each heave of my lungs seemed to happen in time with his, putting our chests together. The thin silk of my dress did nothing to shield me from the feeling of his heat against me, from the brush of his body touching my sensitive, pierced flesh.
He surrounded me with his warmth, his wings coming around us. They didn’t seal me in, leaving an opening behind me where I could escape, but it felt like a shield.
Like the comfort of a blanket on a winter day spent staring at the falling snow through the windows.
I let my eyes fall closed, sinking into the deep well of power that I kept tucked away. It was fuller than I remembered from thelast time I’d touched it, the last time I’d attempted to allow a shallow release to ease it free. My own magic coated my skin too easily here, chasing away Asmodeus’s and warming my skin beneath the slick of desire as it catapulted to the surface. It mingled with the magic of the Second Circle that permeated the air, seeming to settle into this place as if it recognized it intuitively.
The song rose in my throat, a deep, throaty hum that would have come even if I had not willed it. The moment I let that magic loose, I was lost. The moment I drew it to the surface in this place, it overwhelmed me.
“Fuck,” Beelzebub groaned beneath me, his hips bucking into me as my own moved of their own accord. I’d barely needed to touch him, simply offering teasing touches as my magic did the work for me. I sat a little deeper, giving him the full extent of my weight as I reached a hand to the back of his neck, tangling it in the hair at the base of his neck. He groaned as my mouth pressed into his neck, my tongue darting out to taste his flesh as a strangled gasp interrupted my song.
In the distant haze of my memory, I knew this wasn’t right. I knew I hadn’t intended for it to spiral like this as I ground against him, feeling the ridge of his length through his pants. The absence of any underwear meant there was only the thin, smooth surface between us to stop him from sliding inside me, to stop me from giving him the one thing I could not.
My body responded to his touch, even when he could not physically do anything to me. My body recognized him and my need for him, pulling back from his neck to stare down at him. My lips moved with softly murmured words, with a song I hadn’t thought I’d known. His stare tracked the movement, studying my lips intently.
I grasped his face between my hands, lifting his stare to mine as I lowered my mouth to his slowly. My mouth lingered just a breath away from his, so close to touching but unable to close that final distance. I clung to reality, trying desperately to ease themagic out of my own body and into his. “Songbird,” he groaned, the words a breath I inhaled. They filled my lungs with my intake of breath, the warmth spreading through me as I fought to come back to reality.
In all my time as an Erotes witch, I’d never lost control of my own lust. I’d done only what was required of me and moved on, but this was different.
This called to a part of me I wanted to know.
“Fuck it,” Beelzebub gasped, lifting his chin and closing the distance between us. His chest heaved as his mouth touched mine, his breathing stopping immediately as I sighed into him. His kiss was gentle, restrained, as if he was asking me for the permission to continue.
I deepened it immediately, tugging on the back of his neck to bring him closer. He raised his body to press into me more tightly, his posture going straight as I sank into his lap. He struggled against his binds but didn’t attempt to break free. I gripped his face more firmly, molding my mouth to his as his tongue danced with mine. The taste of him inside me was like a war on my senses, something so distinctlyhimthat somehow matched his scent. He erased the floral of my perfume and filled it with the freshness of mint. He replaced the vanilla and cinnamon spices that accompanied the florals with the roughness of his leather and cedar.
My song sounded weaker, but the cords of magic in the air pulsed stronger than ever as we lost ourselves in each other. My hands glided down his chest and over his abs, sliding between our bodies, and my pinky finger brushed against the hard length of him. He groaned into me as I gasped, breaking our kiss to stare up at me.
He was hard and heavy, practically begging for release as I slid my pinky over the tip of him. A spot formed on his leathers, warm and wet as our arousal drove higher.
In my haze of magic, I reached for the waistband of his pants,determined to tug them down and free him from the confines. To feel his skin against mine in that intimate area, to touch him to my core and feel his heat like a brand inside me. He tore his mouth from mine, shaking his head with a smile. “Easy, songbird. Just like this,” he said, the words soft in spite of the way my song grew louder. My magic attempted to get him to consent to what it wanted. His answering smile was soft, as if he saw right through to what was driving me and knew what I needed even though I was lost. “I don’t need to fuck you to come for you, songbird.”
He shifted in the chair, curving his lower back to give me a better seat. I adjusted in his lap, settling down on top of him as I crushed my mouth to his again. My hips ground back and forth, desperation for release driving me. Beelzebub participated as he could, letting me take what I needed from him until he finally groaned long and deep, his body going taut as release stole the breath from his lungs. I stilled in his lap, watching his face as the pleasure played over his masculine features. His eyes closed slowly, his mouth dropping open slightly as he smiled through it.
I leaned forward, all too aware of the way the position put my breasts in his face, and untied him from the chair. I scrambled off his lap, reality crashing back in as the magic I’d summoned faded. Fed, satisfied by his release, it swirled around on my skin and left a glittering trail of beauty in its wake, feeding me better than any food could have hoped to. I felt stronger than I had in years as I adjusted my dress, but the feeling was fleeting as my belly cramped with the effort to shove the fresh wave of magic away.
It wanted the one thing it had been deprived of, the thing it had never been gifted in all my years of life. The release that would send my magic spiraling out through the world, freeing it from the confines of my body.
There was just too much kept locked within me.
I bent over slightly, curling my arms around my stomach as Itried to find the lid to the well, to shove it back over the top and contain the magic that now roamed free. The Second Circle entwined with it, dancing in a circle around me to try to strip away my will once more. I clung to it with every fiber of my being, willing my hands to stay still.
“Margot,” Beelzebub said, and I looked up to find him standing. He walked toward me slowly, treating me like the caged animal I felt like in that moment. I whimpered as a fresh wave of pain hit me in the chest, trying to claw its way out of my body. “Let me help you,” he said, and we both knew what he meant byhelp.
Let him touch me. Let him bring me to the same release I’d given him.
But I didn’t deserve it, not after what I’d done. Not with the monster I was. I was no better than Itan, taking from those who would not have given if it weren’t for what I was.
I didn’t get to feel pleasure in what I’d chosen.
