“A safe space? Why would I ever think of a room you occupy as a safe space? You could do whatever you wanted to me and no one would intervene to save me!” I asked with a bitter smile. I think my outburst shocked me more than him, and that gentlecurving smile only widened, as if it pleased him greatly that I had the gall to yell at him.
He leaned his ass into the edge of the dresser, gripping the edge with both hands. I definitely didn’t notice the way his forearms flexed with the motion, something that should have served as a reiteration of the power imbalance between us.
He was twice the size of me, tall and broad and covered with muscle that should have been fucking illegal. It was like walking around with a loaded gun, a weapon constantly at his disposal, except where a man with a gun could be disarmed, this was just part of him.
Innate and unnerving, he and Leviathan were the biggest creatures I’d ever seen. Monstrously beautiful and terrifying all at once.
“Why would you need anyone to save you from me?” he asked, tilting his head to the side as he tried to figure me out. I felt that gaze poking at me, trying to learn every secret that was mine to keep. It was bad enough he knew that Itan had harmed me because of the way Willow had executed him, because of the way I’d supported that decision and stood up when she’d put him on trial unexpectedly. I didn’t regret it.Nothingcould make me regret knowing his life had ended with my name fresh in his mind, but I hated the vulnerability it brought.
The wounds it had opened for all to see.
“Because you’re dangerous,” I said, spitting the words at him.
He flinched, his head kicking back as if I’d struck him. He took a single, slow step toward me, pausing when I tensed. “When have I ever harmed you?” he asked, his brow tense. His mouth had turned down ever so slightly into a frown, as if it wasn’t just me who needed that reminder.
I didn’t have an answer to that, and I hated it. He might have frightened me and made it clear that he held disdain for my kind, but he’d never harmed me so much as just… watched me.
“You’re right about one thing,” he said, daring to take anotherstep toward me. “I am dangerous, but not to you, songbird,” he said, staring at me as if he could press the intention of those words into me and make me believe them. “You’re important to Willow and she is important to Lucifer. For that reason alone, I will never harm you. But even if that weren’t true, you are not some helpless damsel who cannot protect herself. All you’d have to do is sing.”
It was my turn to flinch, turning my stare away at the prospect of using my magic against someone intentionally. After the consequences it held for me even when I hadn’t meant to do it, I could never bring myself to purposefully put someone under my spell. It would take away their will, and that would make me just as evil as Itan.
“I won’t do that,” I said, dismissing the notion immediately. Perhaps it would have been better to lead him to believe that I would enthrall him entirely if it meant my survival, that I would control him to keep him from harming me.
But even if he’d tried to hurt me, I didn’t think I could bring myself to do it. I didn’t think I could bring myself to become a monster like Itan, to strip away someone’s consent in such a way…
Even if he was hurting me, I didn’t want to make anyone become a slave to my will.
“Why not?” Beelzebub asked, his curiosity practically burning a hole in the side of my face. “Hell isn’t safe for the living, and I can only do so much to protect you. I need to know that you’ll protect yourself if it comes to it. I learned enough about the Reds while I was in Hollow’s Grove to know that enthralling your enemies is how your kind defend yourselves, so why wouldn’t you—”
“It’s none of your fucking business,” I snapped, shocking him with the venom in my voice. I drew in a deep breath, forcing my feet to move forward and picking up the needle and thread from the bed. “Now sit down and put your hands in your lap before I change my mind.”
Beelzebub narrowed his gaze on my face, constantly evaluatingand trying to understand the change in my mood. I glared up at him, the dimming light in the room making the bright, shining gold of his Enochian tattoos seem all the more vibrant. The light from them played off his features, making him look far more angelic than he had any right to be. Whereas Lucifer had once been an angel, Beelzebub had been created from the pits of Hell itself, as had each of the archdemons. Each one had been gifted a circle to claim as his own, and each archdemon possessed the qualities of the circle he’d been created from.
They were the darker reflections of our own magic.
“I can do it myself if it makes you uncomfortable,” he said, tilting his head to the side. His wing twitched as if it wanted to argue that he could, in fact, not do this himself. He rolled his eyes. “Or I can ask Raum.”
“You said asking a demon will come with consequences,” I said, challenging the offer. Had his warning been an exaggeration and a lie?
“It will undoubtedly, but it should be my price to pay. Not yours,” he said, glancing down at where my hands trembled with unease.
I sighed, unable to allow him to come to further harm because of this injury. He’d protected me, whether because of Willow or because of my song. “You were injured protecting me. This is the least I can do.”
Beelzebub finally moved toward the bed, sitting on the edge and making himself smaller. He was still imposing, his height still greater than mine even as he sat. His legs were spread to the perfect width, and I knew I would have been able to fit between them perfectly. To nestle myself between his thighs and touch his golden brown skin for myself. I swallowed as he smirked at me, winking as if he knew the path my thoughts had taken and it amused him that I wasn’t impervious to his effect. Turning his body to the side, he lifted one leg to rest it atop the mattress so his other foot that remained on the floor ran parallel to the bed itself.
I studied his profile for a moment. The slight angle of his upturned eyes was breathtakingly beautiful, but the strong curve of his brow above them was too harsh to be pretty. A contradiction that continued down to the sharp angles of his jaw, which looked as if it’d been carved from the rock of Hell itself. The Enochian runes danced over his skin as I forced my feet to move past him, perching on the edge of the mattress behind him. One of his leathery wings fanned itself over the mattress, laying out as if it, too, needed a rest.
His injured one extended down to the floor, a deep tear in the fibrous flesh. I studied the part where the wings connected to his spine, unable to resist laying a finger atop the connective tissue there. Warmth spread to my finger at the contact, a shiver running up Beelzebub’s spine as his head curled forward. He turned his neck to glance at me over his shoulder, a smirk on his face that was more than just a tease.
It was a carnal promise, his deep red eyes boring into mine as he ran his tongue over the top of his bottom teeth.
“Careful, songbird. They’re sensitive,” he said, earning a swallow and a nod from me. I tore my finger away from his skin, the part where the black of his wings blended into the brown of his skin. It was like watching muscle move, parts of the flesh that were normally on the inside so obvious from the outside. “Another reason I don’t want anyone but you to touch them.”
I threaded the needle with deep breaths, tying the end and using my teeth to tear it off the spindle. “Doesn’t that mean they’ll hurt more?” I asked, wishing we had a numbing agent to ease the pain.
As well as other sensations.
“It does,” he admitted, smirking at me as he smiled over his shoulder. “You worried about me?”
