Daphne froze, shifting so she could look at April. “I scared you?”
April nodded. “Because right then, I knew exactly what I wanted.”
Daphne’s mouth parted, her eyes searching April’s. But then her expression fell. “And we don’t make sense.”
April’s smile was small. “I don’t know. Probably not, honestly. We’re…There’s…”
“Elena.”
April closed her eyes for a second, nodded. “And the Devon. And you’re a lot younger than me.”
“Eight years.”
“That’s a lot on this side of thirty.”
“You’re only saying that because you’re on that side of thirty,” Daphne said, propping herself up on her elbow. “From my perspective, those years are a blip. Elena was eleven years older than me.”
“Yes, she was,” April said, propping herself up as well so they were eye level. “And she treated you like shit and threw you away like an idiot.”
Daphne’s eyes went wide, and she closed her teeth over her bottom lip.
“Fuck,” April said, hooking her hand behind Daphne’s neckand pulling until their foreheads met. “I didn’t mean that to sound so harsh.”
Daphne shook her head. “You’re right.”
“I added the wholelike an idiotpart because she’s a fucking idiot.”
“I know,” Daphne said. “And I know she hurt you too. I know—”
“I’m going to deflect again here, but only because I want to make sure you hear me.” April kept her hand in place, shifting so they could see each other clearly. “My point is thatIdon’t want to be an idiot here. I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want this to be some May-December romance that goes bad because I have no idea who I am.”
“It’s eight years, not eighteen,” Daphne said. “Closer to seven, even. That’s more May…July.”
April cracked a smile. “Okay. I’ll give you that one. But, Daphne—”
“I don’t want to stop,” Daphne said. She sat up all the way, naked and gorgeous, tangled in the sheet and crossing her legs before taking a deep breath. “I don’t know what you’re about to say, or what excuse you’re about to make about howthis was fun, but. I don’t want thebut.”
“What do you want, then?” April asked. Her breath was shallow, heart beating quick and soft under her ribs, as though preparing for some unknown encounter.
“I wantthis,” Daphne said, waving her hand between them. “And no, I don’t know what this even is. Maybe it’s just a fling. Maybe it’s just mind-blowing sex and I don’t want to give it up.”
“Mind-blowing, huh?” April said, grinning.
“Maybe it’s a bigfuck youto Elena Watson,” Daphne said, barreling onward.
“That would be satisfying, if a bit problematic,” April said.
“Or maybe it’s true love,” Daphne said, and April had no quippy comeback for that one. “But that’s the point. I don’t know, and I want to find out. I’ve spent the last three years in a relationship where I thought I was safe, and look where that got me.”
April swallowed hard. She’d felt safe with Elena too. Felt safe with hookups. Felt safe with coming home to Clover Lake, with staying in Clover Lake. And just as Daphne said, where had all of that gotten her? She wasn’t sure if that safety was real. Those choices were easy. Logical, even. The illusion of safety.
“I want tolivewhat I’m feeling,” Daphne went on. “I want to be messy and stupid if that makes me happy right now, and I want that for you too. I choose me. And I want you to choose you. Whatever that means right now, in this very moment.”
“Jesus, Sasha and I have created a monster,” April said.
Daphne huffed a single laugh, but her eyebrows were lifted, her expression all seriousness as she waited for April to respond in kind.
And April knew shewouldwait. She wouldn’t let April utter some pithy declarative sentence and move on, her brain creating some narrative that let her keep deflecting ad nauseam.
