April focused on her dessert, wishing she were as self-aggrandizing as Sasha.
“So,” Sasha said pointedly, leaning forward and resting her elbows on her knees.
“Oh, god, here we go,” April said, dropping her spoon.
“How are you holding up?” Sasha asked.
“I’m fine.”
Sasha lifted a brow. “Are you?”
April sat back in her chair, eyes roaming the room of their own accord for Daphne. April had sat with the wedding party for dinner, so she hadn’t really talked to Daphne much since this morning.
“I’m…” April searched for the right word, but she wasn’t sure there was one. “I don’t know. That’s the truth.”
Sasha nodded. “Makes sense. But I think it’s the right decision.”
“I know,” April said. “That’s what makes it confusing.”
“You need to learn to love yourself too.”
April scoffed. “Thank you, Doctor.”
Sasha grinned. “Seriously though. What are you going to do? Daphne’s leaving in two days. I’m taking off in a week. Are you going to stay here?”
Of coursewas on the tip of her tongue. Clover Lake was her home. The choice she’d always made. The steady surety in herlife. She didn’t get the Devon. She couldn’t go to London with the woman she loved. She still owned a house, for the time being at least, though how she’d pay the mortgage after her renter moved out, she had no idea.
Maybe Mia would let her stay on full-time. Cloverwild was open year-round. Winter was a slower season, of course, but there was some skiing nearby, and surely there would be more rich people wanting to learn how to draw a fucking finch.
The thought, however, exhausted her.
No, more than that.
It terrified her. Bored her. Made her feel ashamed. Every negative emotion swirled in her chest when she thought of staying in Clover Lake.
But where else would she go? She couldn’t afford LA, and while she knew Ramona would welcome her with open arms, she would not—wouldnot—live with Dylan and Ramona like some pathetic hanger-on. She didn’t like LA all that much anyway, but she truly had no other ideas.
She glanced at Sasha. “Where are you going again? Out west?”
Sasha nodded, sipped her club soda. “I’m heading to Europe after the new year, so why not? Plus, Jack and Carrie just invited me to their Halloween party in LA.”
“Ah, right,” April said. She’d heard many a tale of Jack and Carrie’s infamous Halloween parties at their home in Laurel Canyon. She’d been invited to last year’s, but Dylan had been in Germany, and Ramona was on set with Noelle Yang somewhere in the Midwest, so it hadn’t seemed worth it. The theme this year was Masquerade, but in the past, they’d done everything from Disney Villains to the Zombie Apocalypse. Ramona had already mentioned the possibility of April coming out west for it this year, but April wasn’t sure what she was doing tomorrow, much less in ninety days.
“You’re just going to drive around for three months?” she asked Sasha.
Sasha shrugged. “Drive. Work. Wherever the wind takes me.”
April sat up, leaned closer to Sasha, and narrowed her eyes. “Who the hellareyou?”
Sasha laughed, sipped her drink.
“No, really,” April said, softer this time. “What’s the deal? Where’s your family? Are they in LA? You grew up there, right?”
Sasha’s expression fell. “Where’syours?”
“They already went home because they’re the most boring people on the planet,” April said, jutting her thumb toward the street.
Sasha huffed a laugh, gazing out at the crowd, her eyes far away. “They’re not in LA anymore, no.”
