Her actual dreams had come true, and yet, everything still felt nebulous, unreal. She had arrived in town only a few days ago, andshe’d been so busy unpacking and trying to set up the apartment in Silver Lake that Noelle had helped her find, she’d barely had time to process it all.
She hadn’t really been able to process anything since the night she’d decided to take the job, the night Olive came home from visiting their mother.
Olive had taken a few days to tell Ramona what happened, and even then, there hadn’t been all that much to say. Olive shared that Rebecca—that’s what Olive had called her,Rebecca—was very nice, but clearly wasn’t interested in being a mother.
Ever.
“She never said as much,” Olive had said. She and Ramona were in Ramona’s room, packing up her things for LA. “It was just a feeling I got, you know? Like, she’d take me out to dinner, but then just talked about herself a lot.”
“She didn’t ask about you at all?” Ramona asked, teeth already clenching.
“No, she did,” Olive said, folding a pair of Ramona’s jeans. “It just felt…I don’t know. Like she asked because she knew she should, not because she actually cared.” Olive shrugged. “Maybe I’m reading into it too much.”
Ramona zipped up a suitcase that was already full, then moved closer to her sister. She smoothed a hand down her hair. “I’m sorry, honey.”
Olive had looked at her then, her eyes shiny. “I’m sorry too.”
Ramona frowned. “For what?”
“I don’t know,” Olive said. Her lower lip trembled a little. “Just…thanks. You…you’ve given me everything I need. You and Dad.”
Ramona had to fight to keep the tears at bay right then, but when Olive fell into her arms, hugging her tight for a long time, she let them fall anyway. And in that moment, everything was worth it.Olive had always been worth it, but Ramona felt it so keenly then, a gratitude that she got to know this person in her arms, got to help her become who she was.
Now, Ramona smiled at Olive, happy to have her in LA, if only for a short time. Her apartment was pretty much set up, Noelle didn’t need her for another three days, and she couldn’t wait to explore the city with her two favorite people.
“What should we do over the next few days?” she asked, turning around and pressing her back to the balcony railing.
“I want to see the Hollywood sign before I leave,” Olive said.
“Some studios would be fun,” April said, scrolling through her phone. “Oh, the tar pits. Oh, wait, I’ve got it.” She looked up and grinned. “Celebrity house tours.”
She quirked an eyebrow at Ramona, who tried to ignore both April’s and Olive’s charged silence at the mention ofcelebrity.
“No thanks,” she said coolly, then turned around to look at the city again. She very much doubted Dylan’s house would be on such a tour, as those things usually included classic Hollywood icons like Cary Grant and Rita Hayworth.
But Jack Monroe and Carrie Page?
They might be on a tour like that, especially if it was a more modern excursion through LA.
“Mona,” April said. “You’re really not curious?”
Ramona didn’t answer. It wasn’t that she wasn’t curious.
She definitely was.
She hadn’t seen or talked to Dylan in nearly a month. Hadn’t gone to the wrap party in Clover Lake. She had prepared the costumes for the film those last two weeks with such meticulousness, all Noelle had to do was pick them up and hand them to whatever actor they were intended for. And Noelle, being a classy person, did just that. She never asked Ramona to deal with Dylan once she was in a costume, and Ramona appreciated that courtesy more than shecould verbalize. A badass like Noelle Yang certainly didn’t have to think of Ramona’s heart when dealing with work, but she had.
And Ramona was forever grateful.
Because, no, her thoughts and feelings regarding Dylan weren’t about curiosity.
They were about survival.
She couldn’t let herself drift back into memories and what-ifs, because she didn’t think her heart would survive it if she did. She wasn’t worried about crying or simply feeling sad.
She was worried about disappearing into those feelings.
Right now, it was too fresh, and her heart was too battered, too tender to face that kind of battle. She was healing, wasn’t ready for combat, and she knew it would take time—maybe a long time—to get over Dylan Monroe.
