“Maybe I did,” she said, and Jack winked at her.
“Laurel and Adriana have anything lined up for you next?” Carrie asked.
Dylan sighed. She hadn’t spoken directly to anyone on her team since she’d been back in LA. Honestly, she needed a break from it all, from their plotting and their plans for her, even though she knew they were just doing their jobs.
Her lack of honesty regarding Ramona was on her.
Still, there were a few scripts in her inbox that Adriana had sent her way, all from casting directors for the exact kinds of projects Dylan was looking for. There was even one for a biopic about Marlene Dietrich, who was famously bisexual and loved to don a pantsuit in the 1920s and ’30s. It was the role of a lifetime, and Dylan wanted it. She just had to get her head—and heart—on straight first.
“I don’t know what’s next,” she said, sipping on her tea. “Still figuring some things out.”
“Things,” Carrie said, shooting Jack a look.
“Yes,” Dylan said slowly. “Things.”
“Things as in…people?” Carrie asked. “One person, maybe?”
“Subtle, Mom,” Dylan said.
Carrie spread her hands in surrender. “I’m just saying.”
“She seemed like a sweetheart,” Jack said. “Wish we could’ve spent more time with her.”
Dylan rubbed her temples. “I think talking about Ramona is a bit too much for tonight.”
“That’s fair, honey,” Carrie said, nodding. “We just want you to be happy and you seemed…happy with her.”
Dylan didn’t say anything.
But Carrie was right.
Dylan had been happy with Ramona. So fucking happy. She’d never felt like that with any of her past lovers, never ached for them so much after everything ended. Never racked her brain so much about what she could’ve—should’ve—done differently.
Letting someone in is always a little scary. No matter who you are or what you’ve been through. But it’s always worth it.
Blair’s words echoed through her thoughts for the millionth time since the wrap party.
It’s always worth it.
Dylan gulped some more tea, her throat dry—not from a sudden realization, but from this constantknowing.
She wanted Ramona Riley in her life.
By her side.
Her hand in hers, their lives tangled together. She’d known it before they broke up, but she also knew, without a doubt, that she had to work on herself first. And even now, as she was doing that work, she wasn’t sure she’d ever be worthy of Ramona, that she’d ever be able to mesh their lives together the way she wanted.
She groaned, dropped her head into her hands.
“Oh, honey,” Carrie said, leaning forward and placing a hand on her arm. “You’ll figure it out.”
Dylan shook her head. “I don’t know if I will. She’s too good for me.”
“Nonsense,” Jack said.
“I fucked up. She won’t forgive me.”
“You never know until youaskfor that forgiveness,” Carrie said, squeezing her arm.
