This.
Jordan needed Astrid to do this.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Astrid asked.
Jordan sat back, turning her head so she could look Astrid in the eyes. She stayed silent for a few seconds, searching for any sign of the manipulative woman Meredith painted her to be, but all Jordan sawwere soft brown eyes gazing back, her mouth slightly parted in concern.
“I forgot how it felt,” Jordan said.
“How what felt?” Astrid said.
Jordan swallowed hard. “Seeing her. How she makes me feel. I mean, I didn’tforgetforget. It’s always there, you know? But these past few weeks, I’ve been so busy. Distracted. Maybe even happy, I don’t know.”
Astrid nodded. She had one arm over the back of the couch, her hand tangled in Jordan’s hair, thumb swiping against her forehead. “How does she make you feel?”
“Like...” Jordan exhaled. There were so many feelings, but one really stood out. One, she suspected, had driven nearly every decision she’d made in the last year. “Like somehow, whatever I do will never be enough. Like I don’t deserve to be happy or get what I want. She just reminds me of everything I’m not, everything she saw and knew about me and left anyway. And then she said all this shit about you, and I just—”
“About me?” Astrid said, alarm filling her features. “What about me?”
Jordan sighed, letting her head fall back on the cushion. She hadn’t meant to say that. Hadn’t meant to bring up what Meredith thought about Astrid at all.
“Hey,” Astrid said, squeezing Jordan’s shoulder. “Please. Tell me.”
Jordan debated refusing, but a part of her didn’t want to. More than a part, if she was being honest. A huge, tender, scared part of her wanted some reassurance here. She focused on her hands in her lap, couldn’t meet Astrid’s eyes as she said it.
“She knows a lot of the inn’s design is mine.”
Astrid’s brows dipped.
“I didn’t tell her,” Jordan said. “She just knows me. Knows my style.”
“Okay,” Astrid said. “And... she didn’t like that, did she?”
Jordan finally looked at Astrid, who was still tucked against Jordan’s side, her brown eyes wide and concerned. “Tell me this is more than the job.”
Astrid blinked. “Is what more than—”
“Us. This... whatever we’re doing. It’s not about the job, is it? The show?”
“Jordan—”
“I’m not saying we have to have some big define-the-relationship talk or something,” Jordan said, her palms starting to sweat. “I just... I need... I don’t think—”
But Astrid pressed a finger to Jordan’s mouth, stopping any more words from flowing.
Astrid left her hand in place, dark eyes roaming Jordan’s face. “You listen to me,” she said firmly. “I know you and I are complicated. The inn. The show.” She waved her hand between them. “Us. But I likeyou,Jordan Everwood. I wanted to kissyou,remember?”
Jordan nodded, Astrid’s fingers still gentle on her mouth.
“You deserve every good thing, okay?” Astrid went on. Her voice actually sounded sort of teary. “You deserve...” She trailed off, the tiniest of smiles crooking up one corner of her mouth. Jordan held her breath, heart pounding and desperate for whatever Astrid was about to say.
When Astrid finally spoke again, her voice was a low, intense whisper. “You deserve a destiny, Jordan Everwood.”
Jordan blinked, the word settling into her brain, her heart.Destiny. Those seven letters had always been this nebulous concept, this thing that shewasn’t. She’d never once thought about her own destiny.
But now, hearing it from Astrid Parker, of all people, the word suddenly felt... real. It felt sun-soaked and bright and warm, this shimmering feeling deep in her gut. Every doubt in her mind—her heart—vanished. They felt so silly now, sitting here with Astrid, thiswoman who pretended to be so tough and cold, but who was actually the kindest, most open-hearted person Jordan had met in a long time. She just didn’t show that to everyone, and Jordan felt a sudden rush of gratitude that for some reason, Astrid had picked her. Hadseenher.
“Astrid,” she said softly, because that’s all she could think to say.
