“Your grandmother, actually. She knows I care about you.”
“Care?” Jordan couldn’t believe this woman. “Meredith, these are not the actions of a person whocaresabout someone else.”
“You created that design, Jo, and you—”
“I’m not talking about the inn.”
There was a beat of silence, and Jordan knew if she didn’t say all this now, she might never say it at all. And she needed to. She needed Meredith to understandwhyher leaving had crushed her.
And then she needed to say goodbye.
“You left me,” Jordan said.
“Jo, I—”
“You left me because you weren’t in love with me, and I get that, Meredith. I actually, really, really get that. And fuck, you know what? You were right that we weren’t the best fit for each other. You were right that we needed to separate, that there was something more outthere for us. But what you don’t seem to understand is that we were partners.Partners, Meredith. And you fucking made that final decision for me. Not a word about your doubts in all the years we were married, nothing while you were sick, and then you just walk out the door the second you were in remission. And that’s what I’m pissed about. That’s what hurts the most, that you didn’t think enough of me—careenough about me—to have a conversation. Then again, I guess that’s proof enough that it wasn’t love, right?”
Her throat tightened on her last words, and someone other than Meredith floated into her mind. A shaggy-haired pain in the ass, but she shoved the image away.
“You’re right,” Meredith said after a beat of silence. “God, you’re right, Jordan. I should’ve talked to you first. I just... I didn’t think... fuck. Honestly? I was worried you wouldn’t be able to handle it. I was scared that you’d say all the right things, and I’d stay, and then I’d be unhappy and unable to make you happy, and the cycle would just repeat itself over and over.”
Jordan rubbed her forehead. There was some truth swirling through Meredith’s words, but it still hurt to hear that her own wife didn’t think she was strong enough.
“Well,” Jordan said, “I guess we’ll never know.”
“I’m sorry, Jo. Jordan. I’m really sorry.”
Jordan nodded, even though Meredith couldn’t see her. “Okay.”
And, in the end, that’s all there was to say. Jordan asked for some time, for Meredith to give her some space, and Meredith agreed to do so.
Then they said goodbye.
Jordan dropped the phone on her chest and pulled Catra closer. Tears welled in her eyes, and she let them fall into her hair. They felt good, a release she’d been waiting to feel for the last year.
Being happy was about more than love and romance. It was about more than a vampire-toothed bombshell who stormed into her worldin a flurry of coffee and anger and changed her entire life. Happiness was about purpose, it was about self-awareness and acceptance. So that’s what Jordan would focus on. That’s what Jordan—
Plink.
Her thoughts froze, and Catra stiffened in her arms, lifting her head with her ears perked up toward the sound coming from the window.
Plink.
“What is that, girl?” Jordan asked Catra.
The cat slinked off the mattress and hid under the bed.
“My hero,” Jordan grumbled as she tossed the covers back and walked toward the window, pulling back her curtains to peer outside. The moon was full and cast a silvery glow over the grass, but she didn’t see much of anything past the rosebush blocking half her view.
Plink.
This time, Jordan reared back as what had to have been a pebble smacked against the glass.
“What the hell?”
She unlocked the window, but no matter how hard she tugged, the damn thing wouldn’t budge. God only knew the last time it had been opened.
Plink.
