And he was fine, right? Hannah was fine?
They . . . they were pretty wrapped up in each other. I didn’t want to interrupt them.
“Alex.”
“I just want him to talk to me. Really talk.”
“What—”
“I saw them. That night. At the lake, I saw them.”
“You already told me that,” I say. But he didn’t. He didn’t tell me like this. With fear and guilt in his eyes, with tear tracks still on his cheeks.
“What did you see?” I ask.
“I . . . I don’t know. They were on the bench and it was dark and I could tell they were kissing, but when I got closer . . .”
“What? What happened?”
“It just didn’t look right. They weren’t . . . totally naked or anything, but Hannah’s dress was pushed up and Owen was . . . sort of . . . holding her arms down.” He gasps a breath, literally gasps, and drags a hand down his face. “Her face was turned away from me. So was his. I couldn’t . . . I couldn’t tell. I got out of there pretty fast and I thought they were just . . . you know. But the more I thought about it, it just didn’t look right. It didn’t look right at all.”
“I thought you just saw them kissing.”
“I—”
“That’s what I thought you told me.”
“I told the state attorney what I saw. The day after it happened, he called my parents and me to his office because he wanted to talk to all of Owen’s friends. I told him because I just couldn’t . . . I couldn’t get it out of my head, you know?”
“Yeah, I goddamn do know, Alex.”
He winces and takes a deep breath. “The attorney didn’t bat a fucking eye, Mara. You know what he said? He said it didn’t prove anything. He said the defense would just claim that some girls like it rough and drag Hannah through the mud to prove it. He said it was a classic he said–she said scenario.”
“That’s because people are assholes, Alex, not because you didn’t see something important.”
“It didn’t make a difference, Mara!”
“It makes a difference to me. To Hannah. Shit, maybe even to my parents. How could you not tell me? Even after knowing how devastated Hannah is? Even after you could see how broken up I am, all that shit Owen and his friends pulled at school?”
Alex shoves his hand into his hair but yanks it out just as quickly. “He’s my best friend, Mara. He’s the kid who told off those jerks in middle school when they made fun of the way my eyes are shaped. He’s the guy who actually cared about me and asked me stuff about my heritage instead of treating me like I was some exotic story. You think it’s easy to believe he raped his girlfriend? You think that’s an easy thing to just admit?”
“How fucking dare you.” I get off the bed, pillow pressed to my chest. All my limbs are shaking as I find my shirt and throw it over my head, dropping the pillow. I don’t know where my bra is, nor do I care. “He’s my twin brother. You want to talk easy?”
He presses his eyes closed. “I know. Shit. I’m sorry. I didn’t know how to handle it.”
“You sure as hell didn’t.” I scour the room for my bag and find it near the door, half of its contents spilling across the floor from where I dropped it in my desperation to hold on to this boy who’s a fucking liar just like every other boy.
“Please don’t go.”
But I’m already opening his door.
Stupid little bitch.
And I am. I am so, so stupid.
“At least let me take you home,” he says, getting to his feet.
“I’m fine.”
