“Okay. We don’t have to,” she says.
“I thought you were pissed at me.”
“I thought you were pissed at me.”
I was, I think. Wasn’t I?
“I’m sorry,” she says when I don’t say anything.
“For what?”
“I don’t know. But I can tell you’re upset, and I just . . . I want to be friends. I feel like I did something wrong. Maybe I moved too fast or—?”
“You didn’t.”
“But something’s wrong,” she says. “You’re sure this isn’t about last night in the tree?”
“It’s not about anything.”
She nods, but her brows are creased with unbelief. “Is it about your mom?”
I stare at her for a few minutes, wondering how much I let leak to the surface today in the bookshop and in the break room at work. She looks so concerned, so I give her something true. Something safe, something that gives us both what we need right now.
“My mom and I . . . we have a . . . weird relationship sometimes.”
“She doesn’t know, does she? That you’re bisexual?”
“Honestly? I don’t know.”
“What do you mean? Did you tell her or not?”
See, these seem like simple questions, but they aren’t. Did I tell her? Yes. Did she get it? No.
“I’m not embarrassed for her to know. It’s just . . . like I said. Weird relationship.”
Eva nods and I can tell she wants to understand. She searches my eyes, seeking unspoken truths. “It seemed tense today, in the bookstore.”
“Did she say anything? After I left?”
“No.”
Of course she didn’t. Mom is an expert at telling herself everything is all glitter and rainbows between us.
“Mom and I have just been through some crap, Eva, and we . . . I don’t know what else to say. It’s not always easy.”
“I know.”
I suck in a breath. “You do?”
“She’s still dealing with so much after losing your dad.”
A cavern opens up in my stomach. “Oh. Right. My dad.”
“I mean, that’s sort of why she helps me. I just feel so helpless all the time, and she gets that. She’s still there, you know?”
“And you don’t find that kind of weird?” I ask before I can stop myself. “My dad died fifteen years ago.”
Eva frowns, like the idea never dawned on her. Hell, it probably hasn’t. “Grief doesn’t follow a pattern. It’s not linear.”
