“You like it?” He sounded hesitant. “It’s not very professional. I tried, but I’m not very good.”
“Yes. Absolutely.” I wrapped the scarf around my neck, feeling as warmed as though it was a giant blanket, then impulsively squeezed Daziel’s hand. He stared down with surprise. Then he smiled, brighter than the moon.
My throat went dry. I didn’t recognize the feeling in me, the strange bubbling sensation fizzing through every part of my body.
Or maybe I did. Like Jelan had said, we’d spent the last several months cooking and laughing and studying, and though I kept reminding him we weren’t really betrothed, we felt like a couple. Iwantedus to be a couple. I wanted to lean against him, to curl into his side when we read on the sofa. When we walked to class, I wanted to hold hands.
I wanted to kiss him.
I cleared my throat. “I’m sorry I didn’t get you anything.”
“Maybe later I’ll ask you for a gift,” he said softly.
“Why not now?” I asked just as softly. The space between us felt alive, crackling with energy.
He tilted his head. I was aware of the depth of his eyes, the length of his lashes, the firmness of his mouth. His skin seemed to contain an extra glow, a burnished gold radiating health.
Paz burst out from under a pillow, chirping excitedly as he spied a beetle in the corner of the room and dashed after it.
We burst into laughter, the moment broken. “I should get ready for bed,” I said, pulling back. My heart raced as I brushed my teeth and washed my face, as I undid my braids and combed my hair. Both Daziel and my aunt had been so kind tonight. They felt like family. It made sense my aunt did, but Daziel—
Daziel felt like family in a very different way.
When I came out, he was curled up in his nest of blankets and cushions. It struck me how I’d never seen him in a state of undress—even though he owned a million outfits, I’d never seen him change from one to another. Daziel had always been very careful not to make me uncomfortable inside my own home.
The words burst out quickly, tumbling together. “I’m sorry I haven’t been to one of your knockball games.”
He looked up with unnatural speed. “It’s fine.”
“I don’t think it is. I feel awful.” He did so many nice things for me, I wanted to do something nice for him too. I wanted to show I cared. “Do you…Should I come to your next?”
He stared with obvious surprise. “Do you want to? I know sports aren’t your thing.”
Oh no. I shoved my hands in my pockets. He didn’t want me there. This had been a stupid idea. And he definitely couldn’t be interested in me if he didn’t even want me at his game. “Right. I shouldn’t have suggested it.”
“No, I—Naomi.” He took a deep breath, a hint of vulnerability on his face. “Yes. I’d like you to come.”
“Oh,” I said, more upbeat but still nervous. “Okay. I’ll be there.”
“Okay.”
Feeling giddy and confused and a million other things, I turned toward my door. Daziel’s voice stopped me. “Naomi.”
I paused. “Yes?”
He hesitated. “Your hair looks very beautiful down.”
My breath caught. “Thank you,” I said, before throwing myself into my room, where I lay staring at the ceiling, my heart ramming against my chest with confusion and intensity.
I didn’t sleep for a very long time.
Fifteen
I showed up at thepitch at two on game day, Daziel’s scarf wrapped around my neck. I hadn’t been to these fields before—they weren’t on the Lyceum peninsula but where Issachar Quarter sloped down to the Lersach River. The fields were separated from the water by an abundance of mimosa trees, their bright yellow blossoms swaying under the pale winter sky.
A sparse crowd had gathered on the bleachers. I stood uncertainly on the sidelines, trying to decide if I should grab a seat or find Daziel. I was unaccountably nervous. Though we spent so much time together, it wastogether, going from one place to another—it felt stranger to separately enter a space he belonged in.
Daziel bounded over from a group of players on the field. He wore a blue uniform I’d never seen before, with white stripes on the shoulders and down the sides—the School of Humanities club knockball team. I’d only ever seen his practice clothes.
