His eyes gleamed, and he leaned forward, and he called me on my implication. “Why, Miss Darrel,” he said, “are you making a proposal?”
The mortification I felt. I don’t know why. I suppose becauseI am never sure of Freddie. We go for coffee and automobile rides but I’m never sure he wants anything more. And even thoughIam not sure I want more, I might. Yet I never want him to think I want him more than he wants me. I don’t want to give him that kind of power over me.
I leaned back in my chair and said, “I’m not a goose of a girl, Frederick. I don’t long for marriage. But I am a scientist and I trade in facts, and so I would like to have some. Are you looking for a companion, which we have been to each other over the summers for several years now? Or are you looking for a wife—and if so, are you considering me, or am I a convenient pastime until you find the correct lady?”
I rather think I shocked Freddie. Which I enjoyed.
“You have always been too quick for me,” he said wryly. “And more blunt than I expect. It keeps me sharp, I suppose.”
I waited.
“I think you are brilliant,” he said slowly. “The most brilliant woman I’ve ever met. But you seem married to your career, and I always pictured my wife would be more…married to me.”
I did not snort, but I came close. “To tend your house and raise your children?”
He gave me his wry smile. “Is that so wrong?”
“It is so typical. I would have thought a spouse should be a partner, an equal, not an employee.”
“Maybe you’re right. But…I never expected my wife to have a career.”
I looked away. It hurt, even though I knew it shouldn’t,
“That doesn’t mean she shouldn’t,” he said. “Just I’ve neverthought about it. I’m not sure I would have expected a woman with a career to want a husband. After all, you’ve never married, either.”
“Maybe I’ve never met anyone who can keep up with me, either,” I said.
(This is not true; plenty of the men at the Observatory can keep up. But it sounded good.)
“And you think I can?” he asked, smiling.
I shrugged. “Mostly.”
He laughed. Then he looked at me, his eyes that perfect mottled brown-green that I find so beautiful, that I am very afraid that I love. “And—just to make sure I understand—are you saying you are interested in the institution of marriage?”
“I might be,” I said, though it felt like scraping rocks out of my throat to admit it. “Yes. I suppose I would be.”
“I’ll make note of it,” he said, and we did not speak of it again.
I feel like I have swallowed a storm and it is churning my insides in great, wild waves. Do I want to marry Frederick? Do I want to marry at all? I don’t want to give up my career. I don’t want to stop sweeping the skies or searching for a comet, but what if I could have both?
I rather think I would like both.
Seventeen
The ship was much more dramatic than I’d expected.
Sails the color of old parchment billowed from the tall masts. A complicated web of rigging draped from one wooden post to another, like someone had forgotten to erase the architectural lines in a drawing. All it needed was the Jolly Roger flying to put viewers in mind of pirates.
Cora craned her head back. “How long did this take to build?”
“Five years,” Dad said. “There’s a pretty good documentary about it. They followed Gary as he built it.”
A hearty-looking man barreled toward us. “There’s my intrepid adventurers!” he cried, which sounded like the type of thing one might say if used to being followed by a film crew. He wore a vest and khaki shorts, and had a large, bulbous nose, ruddy skin, and watery blue eyes. “Glad you could make it.”
“Thanks for having us.” Dad clasped the man’s hand. His warm tone made it clear he liked the guy. “Wouldn’t miss this for the world.” He placed a hand on my shoulder and indicated the rest of us in turn. “This is my daughter, Jordan. And Dr. Cora Bradley, and do you remember my assistant, Ethan?”
“Ah, one of the Barbanel brood!” the man said in his louder-than-life voice. He bent his knees—he was tall, maybe six five—to smile at me. “And Jordan, you look just like your mother! So glad you could make it.” He turned to greet Cora more formally, but I was too stunned to take anything else in.
