She stands up and grasps my hands. “I know, I’m so sorry Cass.I really thought once you met Daniel, it would all be fine. But that dinner…I got scared. Then this fight between Daniel and Ellis. And when I saw you and Ellis together the morning of your birthday, I don’t know, something about it rang true to me. I could tell that when you found Daniel it wasn’t an easy decision.”
I’m shocked by this. “You…you’ve been skeptical of Daniel all this time?”
She shakes her head. “Not skeptical. Cautious. And I was really, truly happy that things seemed to be going so well between you two.”
“But you think now it’s not?” My voice is grim.
“No, not necessarily. I just want you to have all the facts,” she says. “Matthew would want you to know, too.”
Something about the way she says my dad’s name makes me sit up. “Do you…Do you keep in touch with him?”
I can tell she wants to lie to me, her eyes cagey. But she slumps. “Not really. Just…sometimes he reaches out to me to ask about you.”
“Oh mygod!” I truly cannot handle all this information. “Sunny, this is beyond fucked up.”
“He didn’t want you to know!” she says. “It’s not like we’re close! But he’s your father, Cass!”
“Only by blood,” I say viciously fast.
“Yes, of course,” she says. “I’m not defending him, okay?”
“Does this mean you know where he is?” I ask.
She nods, hesitant. “Yes. He lives in Michigan.”
“Wow.” It’s all I can muster right now. “And you have his phone number?”
“Yes.” Then she pulls out her phone, an idea forming. “I’m giving you his info, okay? I think it would help you to talk to him.”
My phone vibrates when her text arrives and I almost recoil. “Are you out of your mind? Why would I want to talk to him?”
“There’s only one other person in this world who knows whatwent on in their relationship,” she says. “Don’t you want to know more? To help you figure things out with Daniel?”
My head swims. “I don’t know what I want, Sunny. This is all so fucking much. And it’s hard for me to even believe you.”
She looks hesitant for a moment before she reaches into her bag and pulls out something. “Maybe this will convince you.” She hands me a wood box inlaid with mother-of-pearl and abalone in images of cranes and flowers.
“What’s this?” I am suspicious of everything.
She puts it in my hands. “Open it.”
I open the little metal latch. The box is lined in hot-pink silk. Lying in it is a single item—a piece of paper. I pull it out. It’s our handmade paper.
On it is a name, stitched in thread:Matthew Lee
The breath is knocked out of me. Until this point, there was the possibility of Sunny lying to me. That everything remained as I thought.
But here’s the truth. Sitting in the palm of my hand. Then I notice the thread color. It’s black, not white. “Why…why is it black?”
Sunny shakes her head. “We think it’s because their connection broke. We’ve never seen it before or since.”
I look up at Sunny with tears in my eyes and she pulls me into a hug. I start sobbing into her shoulder.
“I’m sorry, Cass,” she whispers. “I love you. I want you to have the world.”
42
When Sunny leaves, a wild feeling comes over me.
