“Hmm, it’s not too much?” I ask, already feeling swayed.
“No, it’s just right.” Halmoni shoves it at me. “Try it on. Do you need the Spanx?”
I want to say no but wordlessly hold out my hand. I shut myself in my walk-in closet to give myself a shred of dignity while I maneuver into the Spanx and then the dress. It fits exactly how I remembered—perfectly without any real constraint.
When I step out into my room, everyone’s sitting on the edge of my bed.
“Oh, Cass,” Emoni breathes. “You look like an angel.”
“No, you look like a hottie,” Sunny says.
“Really, Sunny?Hottie?” I tease, but am pleased. Sunny still gets physical issues ofVoguedelivered to her house and she doesn’t dole out compliments easily.
“It’s perfect,” Halmoni says with finality. “I can already see my future great-grandchildren.”
I almost trip on the hem of the dress. “Halmoni!”
“What?”
“Let’s just…take a beat,” I say, feeling my chest tighten. Suddenly this night feels so high stakes. Having this not work out with Daniel wouldn’t just mean failing Halmoni and all her hopes and dreams. It could mean ending the line of the family gift. I’ve known this, but it hits me hard at this moment.
Sunny comes over to me to adjust the neckline, and the cool touch of her fingers instantly calms me. She squeezes my shoulder. “Umma, let’s not get into baby talk.”
“Just because you didn’t want any doesn’t mean that’s how Cassia feels!”
Emoni shakes her head. “Of course, Cassia wants children. The gift runs strongly through her. She’s just been waiting for her fated.”
Sunny closes her eyes. “Everyone. Stop. Let’s not ruin this for Cass before it even begins.”
I look at her gratefully. “We have bigger fish to fry. Which shoes?”
We pick out some strappy silver heels to go with my little jeweled clutch (vintage Dior that Sunny brought from home, thank you very much). In the bathroom, Emoni and I nix the idea of waves and just blow out my hair so that I feel like a nineties supermodel. I’m not always comfortable in a lot of makeup, but I agree with Emoni that this time I need to be a bit more dramatic. She gives me a smoky eye and a bronzy highlight on my cheekbones and I’m done.
“Are you ready for the beginning of everything?” Sunny asks me, her tone only half teasing.
“I’vebeenready,” I say, but the conviction only runs through part of my body. The other part—well, it’s nervous. I know things will go well—it’s been predetermined—but I don’t know how the details will fill in yet.
Emoni tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “You look a lot like your mom tonight, more than usual.”
There’s a moment of quiet as they all look at me, and I can feel that they are not just looking at me but the ghost of my mother. It’s both a gift and a burden to be able to give that to them. I’ve now lived eight years longer than she did—everyone in this room has known me longer than they knew my mother.
Later, I catch Halmoni looking at a painting in the kitchen, a small oil painting of a K-Town strip mall. My mom’s, of course. It’s the first One & Only office. There’s a neon sign, the sky blue-gray, and a red sedan is parked in front of the office. Halmoni’s hand covers her mouth. “Oh. That’s my car.”
“Really?” I peer at it. “I always wondered why there was only one in the entire parking lot.”
She nods, her lips tightly sealed in a line. “It barely fit our whole family. But it was the first car we were able to buy, and I was so proud of it.” Her expression is faraway. “Your mom and Sunny fought endlessly in the back seat. One time so viciously that Halabuji had to whip his arm back to separate them and he dislocated his shoulder.”
“Oh my god,” I say with a laugh. “Bet they behaved afterthat.”
“You would think,” she says dryly. “But your mom never let anyone have the last word. She kept all of us on our toes.”
The unspoken words hang over us as we stare at the painting. That she brought chaos into both of our lives because her death was so utterly shocking. We look at her paint strokes, so effortless andwild. But when you step back, the painting is totally in control. All the loose and breezy daubs of paint end up creating a feeling, a place. A memory that has the ability to make you time travel. Mom surprised you like that. Halmoni reaches for my hand and I hold it tight. I don’t want to let her down, I don’t want to fill her life with any more pain. And I won’t. That familiar steadiness comes over me. A lifetime of happiness will start tonight.
My family heads back home to get ready themselves since I’ll be going to the museum early to oversee everything. I thank them, and before Halmoni shuts the door behind her she says, “Was this a good idea, or what?”
I brush my lips on her powdered cheek. “We won’t know until the end of the night. So, save your gloating.”
She doesn’t even try and hide her smug smile. “I’m already planning the wedding.”
