Halabuji clinks his glass with chopsticks. “More than one!”
“I’m going to start,” Marcella says, standing.
Ozzie squeals, “Mama!”
I grin, looking at my best friend. A tall blonde with broad shoulders and impeccable style, Marcella is a force to be reckoned with. She has a scratchy voice and would have probably been called a “broad” in the golden age of Hollywood. I would say she’s superhuman for doing all she does with two young kids, but the reality is she’s worked hard to make it happen: saving up money to have childcare. Waiting until her parents retired and could help out before having her second child. Scheduling regular marriage counseling to make sure she and Logan remain a functional team. None of her success is an accident, and it’s one of the many things I admire about her.
“Welcome to the fourth decade, darling,” she says. “It’s great.You will no longer care about young people’s ugly clothes nor their shitty music. You will no longer have FOMO about literally anything except people who get to drink a lot and wake up without hangovers. You will be”—she glances around the table full of Korean geriatrics—“ah, your needs will be much more clear.” My cousins are dying trying to hold in laughter, so she rushes through. “And you will manifest the things you want.”
My family all look at me, something behind their eyes. Hope. They hope I find Daniel before I become a withered old husk of an ovary. It would stress me out except I froze my eggs when I was thirty-two. Just as insurance, and to ease my grandmother’s worries. And maybe a little bit because it was the age my mom was when she died.
I also don’t squirm under this pressure because I know I’ll meet Daniel. We have a 100 percent guarantee for a reason. I just don’t know when.
“So, cheers to Cassia. The most type A person I know. Who takes care of those around her but knows how to take care of herself, too. The world would be better if everyone was like her. We’d have no wars and no bad dates. Happy birthday!”
Everyone raises their glasses, and I feel the flush of wine hit my cheeks with the overwhelming sense of gratitude I always get whenever I’m with these people. “Thank you, Mar. The tallest woman I know.”
Mica bursts into laughter and Ozzie copies him instinctively. Emoni takes a sip of prosecco. “You areverytall. And a very good friend to our Cassia.”
“She is.” I signal my love to Marcella with my eyes and she accepts it with a slow blink. “Thank you, all, for gathering again for my birthday. Special thanks to Emoni and my grandparents for cooking and hosting, as always.”
“It’s one of the few times all my kids make the trip out to L.A.,” Emoni says with winks at Josh and Brian. “So, I look forward to it every year.”
They all groan, Korean-mom guilt in full effect. But I know later they will make sure to take home her leftovers, to update all her apps on her phone, and probably one of them will buy her a new car.
“I’m sure I’ll be dreaming of this meal while I’m eating a can of beans in a few days,” I joke.
Sunny frowns. “No. Are you camping again? With your injuries?”
I shrug. “Not sure yet, I haven’t decided on where I’m going.” A very weird thing for me to say, but everyone knows it’s the one time of year I am spontaneous. “Also, I don’t even need the bandage anymore.” I hold up my naked wrist as proof. The cousins all start talking at once.
“What happened to you?”
“Couldn’t you do a five-star resort for your fortieth?”
“Can I see your wrist?” This from Lisa, the doctor.
Uncle Stu pulls out his phone and squints at it. “We’re supposed to have Santa Anas this weekend.”
My grandfather gets up from the table. “I need to make sure your tires have good pressure.”
“No, no. Sit down, Halabuji.” When he won’t listen I get up and drag him back by the arm. “We can do that after dinner. Everyone—chill!”
He looks unhappy about it but stays put. Halmoni asks, “Can’t you just stay in town this year?” There’s an edge of sadness to the question. We all know the reason for me bolting, but we rarely talk about it. It’s too painful and no one wants to ruin my birthday. Even though it’s always ruined, for eternity.
I tear my barbecued short ribs apart carefully. “The woods are calling and I must go.”
“Maybe Daniel will be in the woods,” Marcella says.
“Mar.” I shake my head.
“What! I’m supporting you.”
“Daniel Nam?” Griffin asks.
My mouth drops open and I look at Josh accusingly. “You all are just talking about this guy now?” I’m kidding but Marcella takes it seriously.
“Yeah, we are. You won’t even date a hot young guy because of Daniel. Of course we talk about this cockblock!” She glances at my grandparents before her own children. “Sorry.” Griffin laughs so hard that Josh has to smack his arm.
