Ellis laughs then lifts a brow at me. “Ready for an official tour?”
It’s silent for a beat as he looks at me in that way he looks at me. I look back. “Yes.”
We walk along the gravel path, our arms nearly brushing but not quite. It’s so hard for me not to reach out and hold his hand. The nearness of him has grown unbearable throughout the evening. “So, tell me about this,” I say, waving my arm at the landscaping done in the small yard in front of the office.
“Well, even though we were working with limited space here, we wanted the office to feel like an oasis set back from the formality of Beverly Hills. So, we added this path, forcing people to meander through before getting to the front door.” Our feet crunch on the gravel, and I move gingerly because of my heels. He slows to match my pace immediately, making my heart grow two sizes.
He tells me about the plants and why they were chosen, everything so considered and smart. Just like the man himself. And even though I had felt it before, I fully see Ellis as someone whose compassion and intelligence are the true measures of what kind of man he is. Not the years he’s lived.
“I actually need to thank you,” he says when we enter the garden in the back of the office.
“Me? Why?”
He’s shy suddenly, hands tucked into pockets, shoulders up near his ears. But then he slides a glance at me and says, “I don’t think I could have set out on my own if I hadn’t met you.”
A soft warmth spreads through me. “What do you mean? You could have done it anytime.”
He smiles. “See? There it is. That unshakable confidence in me. That’s it.”
I think of his parents, their concern about him. But their pride and love, too. “You have tons of people in your life who believe in you.”
“I’m sure I do. But you were the person who stepped in at the exact time I needed the nudge to think bigger.” His shoulders relax and his smile turns intimate. “Just watching you and how you move through the world, with so much assurance—it’s inspiring. The last thing I want to do is point out our age difference here, but you kind of gave me a new definition of adulthood. One that is filled with people you love, a job that invigorates you—just full of pleasure and meaning.”
This leaves me speechless. I feel my cheeks flush, my body warm from the inside out. To be so seen by this man. In the face of such a compliment I can only joke, “Maybe you need more forty-year-olds in your life.”
“I like the one I have, thanks.”
We look at each other in the soft light of the courtyard. He clears his throat. “So, yeah—all that to say, thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” I say quietly.
He leads me to the middle of the courtyard, by the walnut tree. “Did you…Did you think of the Betty statue for my mom? And her favorite plant?” I ask.
A flush creeps up his neck before he nods. This man, this man whoblushes. “Feathery Cassia,” he says softly.
“It’s…perfect,” I say quietly.
His eyes soften. “I didn’t just come here to show you the garden.”
My blood rushes through my ears. “Oh?”
He gets in close. “When we first met—I felt like someone literally hit me over the head with a cartoon hammer.” A smile hovers over his lips.
I laugh but am on the verge of crying. “Um, that’s because you saw a grown woman fall off her bike.”
“Yes, and it was the best moment of my life,” he says quietly. “I drove toBeverly Hillsto find you. Casual.”
“The west side and everything.”
“And everything,” he says, his voice low. “Then, when you asked me to come over…I couldn’t believe it. I was so happy. It was the best weekend of my fucking life. And, I think it might have been one of yours, too.”
It’s bold and he knows it, his face flushing a little. But of course he’s right. “But then you walked away from that, and right to Daniel. And yet, we just kept being drawn together. And I kept getting hurt.” He meets my eyes then and I wish I could undo all the things that caused that look. “When you showed me the paper with Daniel’s name, it explained so much, but it didn’t take away the hurt or the doubt—I mean, what if you changed your mind again? You told me you loved me, and it was so exactly what I wanted to hear, but I needed time…I needed to sort through it all. And then instead I just kept remembering. Remembering all the things I love about you,” he says.
I take in a sharp breath.
He pulls me in close. “I love how confident you are when youwalk into a room. I love the insane way you organize your vinyl and that you taught a seven-year-old how to load a record. I love your terrible Yoda impression. I love how well you take care of the people in your life and your beautiful home and your cranky bird. I love pretty much every physical part of you to the point of craziness. Even that mole that you’re self-conscious about. I haven’t been able to think of touching anyone else ever since I touched you. And…I love the way you…believe in love so much that it’s your job.” Our faces are so close now, I can feel his breath on my skin. “I love you, Cassia. I really fucking do.”
It’s hard to talk around the lump in my throat, the beating of my heart. “I love you, too, Ellis.”
