“Our server room is there,” I say, thinking about the small room off to the side of Halmoni’s office.
“That was probably it, we found a lot of equipment near the origin of the fire.” He shakes his head. “Unfortunately, the damage upstairs is substantial, even if the first floor has remained pretty untouched.”
We all exchange looks. “Can we check it out?” I ask.
“I’m sorry, but no, that would be incredibly dangerous.”
Everyone nods in understanding, and we make our way back to our cars, past the trucks, firefighters sitting down with bottles of water, and caution tape. We thank them profusely. My eyes tear up as I impulsively hug one of the firefighters, not knowing how else to show my gratitude.
Before Halmoni gets into her car, she says, “Let’s all go back to our house.” I must look as conflicted as I feel because she says, “Please, Cassia.” Her voice is shaky and I can’t say no.
“Of course, Halmoni.”
After they drive off, I walk over to the fire chief again. “Is thereanychance that I could take a quick look? We have things in there that go back generations.”
He looks conflicted but I implore him. He sighs. “I have to come with you and it’s gotta be quick—five minutes tops.”
“Yes! Thank you.”
We head toward the office. The smell of smoke and the chemicals used to put out the fire is intense. I’m handed a mask before I step in.
Other than some smoke damage I see near the ceilings, the first floor seems to be intact—the waiting area, the kitchen, intern bullpen, Sunny and Emoni’s offices, and my office.
When we get upstairs, I can sense the destruction before I see it. The long hall leading to the conference room, the reading room, and Halmoni’s office is missing huge chunks of wall and I can see the burnt wood framing of the building. It smells like firewood and chemicals as I pick my way through the hall, following the captain’s cautious footsteps.
The conference room is a shell of its former self—our beautiful walnut table and leather swivel chairs burnt and melted. The big glass windows overlooking the city are smoke-tinged and smashed. I swallow down the pain of seeing this level of damage.
We move on to the reading room and it’s in a similar state—the windows smashed, cold air whooshing in and lifting the ashes of what is left of our sofas and beautiful art and sculptures. I try not to linger too much on the damaged tapestry that has been in our family for centuries, on the scorched altar. It’ll make me sick.
And finally, we get to the room at the farthest end of the hall—Halmoni’s office. The captain approaches it gingerly, already a bad sign. I gasp when I step inside. It is completely and utterly destroyed. If I hadn’t known the room like the back of my hand, I wouldn’t even know what I was looking at. Halmoni’s antique redwood desk is burned down to its metal brackets. And most importantly, the cupboard is almost completely charred and falling apart.
“I’m sorry, we couldn’t save any of this,” the captain says, his eyes full of regret.
I can’t even reply, I just stand in the middle of a destroyed history with consequences I can’t anticipate.
“All right, we should head out now, ma’am,” the chief says.
“Okay, just one more thing.” I rush over to the cupboard, finding my drawer through the damage, and pull out the scrap of paper with Daniel’s name on it. The thread is black.
48
When I get to my grandparents’, I sit in my car for a minute. With the adrenaline of the fire receding, I am exhausted. The family dinner with Daniel and then Sunny’s revelation feel like a million years ago. Before going inside and facing whatever will happen, I complete step #6 of the “Office Fire” instructions. I send out the bad news to Shreya, Lila, and Matteo and there’s a deluge of shocked and condolence messages. I decide to close business for the rest of the week until we figure things out. The responsibility of their jobs weighs on me, and I hope we can get back up and running soon.
Finishing this step makes me feel more grounded, but I wish I had a checklist for “What to do when you learn your entire family has been lying to you your whole life.” Step one would probably be getting out of the car.
There’s food and coffee spread out on the kitchen island when I get inside, and Halmoni, Sunny, and Emoni are already sitting around the table. Stu and Halabuji are in the kitchen, being very busy.
Stu hands me a cup of coffee and I take it gratefully before sitting down with the Park women. Their eyes are all on me as I take my first sip. “I let Shreya and Lila and Matteo know what’s happening,” I say uselessly.
Murmurs around the table. “Good, good,” Emoni says.
Then it’s silent and I feel all their held breaths, the moment I’ve been avoiding for days. “As you know, Sunny told me about Mom and my dad. That theywerefated.”
Something crashes in the kitchen and we whip our heads to see Stu fumbling with a pan. “Sorry!” he says, as flustered as I’ve ever seen him.
When I turn back, Halmoni is clutching the edge of the table and Halabuji steadies her from behind. “You were never supposed to know,” she says in a whisper. Emoni looks stricken.
“No shit,” I say bitterly.
