“Did you… plan this? New Year’s, agreeing to the fake-dating thing, spending all this time with me?” she asked, stumbling over her words as her mind formed worst-case scenarios. Ari had known Thandie for almost ten years. She was definitely capable of using mind games to mess with an opponent.
“Ari, no. I promise none of this happened on purpose,” he said firmly. “I would never do anything like that.”
His expression was sincere. But Ari didn’t know what tobelieve anymore. She glanced around the café, trying to think it through. If he’d been the one to reveal the truth, she would have believed him. But finding out through Harrison, of all people? She shook her head and let herself be pulled in by everything going on around her. The smell of coffee beans, the sound of spoons clinking against glasses. She wanted to float away and watch this scene play out as an objective observer. Her instincts had allowed her to spend years with Harrison, so when it came to men, she didn’t trust her gut anymore. Taking Drew at his word felt like risking all the progress she’d made.
“Was this all just a game for you?” she asked plainly.
“The fake-dating? No. I agreed because I wanted to spend time with you.” His face softened. “And then everything else that happened between me and you? It was real.It is real.”
“Don’t get ahead of yourself. It’s a fake relationship,” she said, trying her best to protect her feelings.
“So, that first kiss was fake?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
“It was an emergency. I was just playing it up for the kiss cam,” she said, crossing her arms though nothing about that moment had felt like acting.
“That wasn’t our first kiss,” he said.
“The opening ceremony? I was trying to get away from my insane ex-boyfriend.”
“No, Ari. New Year’s. There was nothing fake about that,” he said. Her mind wandered back to that night. To the instant familiarity, the tenderness in their eyes, the kiss so good she’d run away from it.
“There wasn’t,” she admitted. “But everything since then has just been pretend.”
Drew shook his head, refusing to accept her answer.
“The dates, theobviouschemistry, the way you look at me and how I look at you? That was all fake, too?” he challenged,taking a step closer. She was mad at him, but that didn’t make him or the low, slow tone of his voice any less attractive.
“It was just an act to fool Harrison and my friends,” she said coldly, determined not to fold.
“And last night… wasthatall pretend?” he asked with a look that made her feel completely exposed. No, nothing about last night had been fake. What use was there in pretending when there was nobody else around? How could she ever convince herself that the way she’d kissed him had been pretend? That the ways their bodies had moved in perfect, synchronized motion had been just for show? The way they’d touched each other and the things he’d made her feel had been more real than anything before. She didn’t want to believe that it was all a casual extension of something that had never been real to start with.
But she had to, for her own good. So, she put on her most unbothered expression.
“Drew, it was just sex,” she said. A woman standing nearby waiting for her coffee looked over, intrigued. Ari felt a little embarrassed but stood her ground.
“We both know it wasn’tjustsex,” he said, looking her in the eye. It sent a tingle down her spine.
“Okay, fine.” She shrugged. “But it was a mistake,” she said. She saw him flinch as soon as the words came out of her mouth, but she needed to keep going. “I knew it would be a mistake when I walked into your hotel room last night, and you probably knew it was a mistake this morning when I left,” she said plainly.
The silence lasted too long. She didn’t realize how much she’d wanted him to object until he didn’t. It stung. The woman stood beside them, eavesdropping on their conversation, giving her a sympathetic look she couldn’t bear. She needed to leave the café as soon as she could, so she asked Jørgen, who was clearly listeningto their conversation, too, if he could put her drink into a takeaway cup. But Drew followed her to the counter.
“I was going to tell you,” he said.
“But you didn’t,” she sighed, suddenly exhausted. Ari didn’t have the patience for shoulda woulda couldas.
“I just didn’t want to do anything that could risk making you worry or throw you off your game. Once I realized how you and Thandie knew each other, I figured you would be better off not knowing.”
He sounded sincere, and she could understand the logic. But he’d hit upon the one thing she couldn’t look past in arealrelationship: dishonesty.
“I don’t want to be a girl you lie to, to protect their feelings. I don’t think you lied to protect your ex-girlfriend’s feelings, and I don’t think you held back the truth to protect mine. I think you did it because you’re too much of a coward to face having a difficult conversation,” she said. Her words had stung him. She could tell by the look on his face. But Ari needed to tell the truth. A part of her wanted him to defend himself, or even throw a painful truth back at her or take something she’d told him up on the roof and use it as ammunition. But when he spoke again, his tone was calm and even.
“You’re right. It was cowardly to avoid telling you the truth. I should have told you sooner. But as flawed as I am—and my god, do I have a long list of issues—I’m not one of the guys you’ve dated in the past, Ari. You can push me away all you like, you’re entitled to it. But I’m not the kind of person who’s going to go back and forth with low blows,” he said, holding her gaze before reaching behind her. He took the cup of matcha the barista had left on the counter and handed it over to her.
“You should drink it before it gets cold,” Drew said.
She was too shocked to do anything but take the cup. She’dbecome so accustomed to chaos in every other part of her life that she didn’t know how to respond when someone was calm and measured instead of letting a conflict become a fight.
She took the cup and let him gently ease her away from the counter. When she looked back, she realized that they’d been holding up the line. At least seven other customers were looking at them, some with annoyance, clearly desperate for their coffee. Others were curious, trying to eavesdrop on their conversation and connect the dots. Ari was still trying to make sense of it all.
