Mum scoffs, refilling her glass. The red wine sloshes up the sides, leaving light streaks as she brings the glass to her thin lips.
Usually, I would just keep my mouth shut and my head down, just get through the forced family time with as little friction as possible. But the situation with Malcolm has been replaying in my head for days now, the regret that’s been searing through my blood ever since that night. I didn’t stand up for myself then, and I can’t let that happen again. Especially not with the people who are meant to support and love me no matter what, in the place that I’m supposed to be the safest in the world. Anger, bitterness, and jealousy rise up my throat. I know some people aren’t born with the privileges of safety, support, and love at home. I understand I’m lucky compared to other people. But Spencer has received the kindness, forgiveness, and understanding I’ve craved, causing an insatiable need in my bones, a hunger I’ve never been able to subdue.
My cutlery clatters onto the china as my chair scrapes against the floorboards. I’m a bomb that’s about to go off, and I need to get out of here as swiftly as possible.
“Spence, can we go please?” My voice shakes as I ask. I pick up my plate and storm into the kitchen.
Spencer doesn’t respond, just stares at his plate as Mum gets up from the table to follow me.
“There’s no need to take Spenny with you—in fact, I think that’s the whole problem.”
“Sorry for dragging your precious baby down to my level,” I spit over my shoulder.
Mum’s voice softens. “You know, you could get back on track. Ask for your job back and just move on without all that...” She waves her hand around as she tries to think of the word. “...drama like last time.”
“Drama?” I repeat, my mouth wide in disgust. “It wasn’t ‘drama,’ Mum.”
The memory of Malcolm’s whiskey breath as he threatened me reappears in my nostrils.
She sighs as she continues to ignore me. “And maybe you’reright; maybe we did put too much attention on Spencer, so now you feel the need to lash out for attention.”
My voice breaks, tears stinging my eyes, and my plate clatters into the sink. “You think I went through that on purpose?”
They’ve never said it outright, but I could tell. I could feel the disappointment radiating off them like an odor every time they saw me.
My father’s face is red as he stomps into the kitchen, clearly having heard our argument echo through the house. “Your penchant for making poor decisions was the first step toward it being your fault. Then make a big song and dance about it all, trying to get that boy fired, ruining his prospects too and bringing more attention onto yourself for no reason.”
The words slam into my bones like he shot them out of a gun; jagged shrapnel marking home in my body.
The thought was already lodged in my brain, a snake slowly wringing its way around the soft tissue, tightening when I wasn’t watching it. But the way I shattered, buckling under the fractures, was a long time coming.
My shoulders cave inward. “Dad...” My chest cracks open under the armor.
I look at my mother, and she stares at the floor. Not fully agreeing with his harsh assessment but not disagreeing either. Probably her attempt to stay neutral, but it feels like a double negative.
“You were on track to do well. You could have made something of yourself. I just don’t want you dragging your brother into your mess too. You walk around acting like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders.”
I take a shuddering breath. “Maybe I do act like that, andI’m sorry. But my world collapsed in an instant. I’m just trying to pick it back up again before it crushes me.” My voice wobbles. “I just wish you both would help me do that.”
My dad interrupts, “I think we’ve done the best considering you—”
“Stop.” The room goes silent as my brother stands in the kitchen doorway. “Just stop.”
To my surprise, my parents do stop. Like well-trained dogs, they pause in place and turn to Spencer.
He swallows. “None of what happened is Jess’s fault. We’re doing well. With my help, we are going to go all the way. You’ll see how great of a job she is doing when we win the prize money. When we come home with a million pounds’ investment.”
My stomach drops. I know Spencer is trying to be supportive, but my eyes widen, begging him to stop divulging the details of TechRumble. To not get their hopes up for this to actually be something.
For a second, I panic, my whole body tensing at my parents’ reaction to Spencer’s admission. But then I soften; maybe with Spencer’s support, I don’t need to care about what they think of me.
Before I have a chance to explain, Spencer continues, “Jess is the smartest, hardest-working, greatest person I know. I’m sorry you can’t see her the way you see me, because you’re missing out. If you want to start acting like real parents, we’ll be in Vienna.”
He holds his hand out to me as we leave without saying another word.
Chapter 25
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