‘And you may not feel like you can forgive me for being so fucking useless. But, Abbey, if you let me, I will spend every day of the rest of our lives making certain you are cared for, reminding you that you are enough for anyone, respecting every boundary you set. Reminding you that you are way too good for me, and I will love you with my whole being for as long as you let me.’
There was silence as he, and our family, waited for my response. Only the fire behind us dared to breathe.
‘You are a real arsehole, you know that?’ I said, pushing away my tears.
‘Oh, honey, believe me when I tell you that I know I have been the biggest arsehole ever. A complete, an utter dolt.’ He took another step closer to me.
‘You ran a long way. Further than I expected you to, Nick. You cannot do that again.’
‘I promise you, that will never happen again.’
‘How’s this even going to work? You live in London.’
‘I don’t know, but I thought maybe we could just talk about it, find a way through together. Abs, I love it here. And, more importantly, I love you.’
‘So you aren’t back here because your brother left you a message about Iris?’
‘No.’
‘What changed, Nick?’ I couldn’t keep the pessimism out of my voice, and I saw him flinch when he heard it.
‘I got to Singapore. I was sitting in a transfer lounge. There was an old couple across from me and she started laughing at something he did or said. I don’t really know that I can explain it. But it just occurred to me, like an actual lightbulb moment, that you are this for me. You know, my other half, the one that makes me laugh, the person who makes me better, the bloody one thing that makes me happiest. When I am not with you, I’m just a miserable old bastard and I’ve let that miserable old bastard rule my life for too long, Abbey.’
He closed the distance between us, and I got my first waft of him. He smelled so good, not like someone who had been travelling all day. His stubble was holiday length and, though his eyes were bloodshot, they were shining at me.
His hand rose to my face, and he pulled me into him, pushing his forehead against mine. ‘They called for the flight to board, and I could not do it. I could not take another step away from you. I cannot be without you. And I didn’t want to admit how very deep I was already in.’
He shook his head once, looking down before meeting my eyes again. ‘Abbey, it’s like the fucking angry ocean that surrounds this country. That’s how deep. A fucking ocean, a big one. Powerful, out of control, knock you on your arse. I love you so much and it’s fucking terrifying.’
I pressed into him, my heart thudding and the joy finally being allowed to flood through my body.Yes!
‘Everyone’s afraid of something, Nick.’
He gave a small laugh through his nose. ‘Yes.’
‘It’s exactly how I feel. Terrified.’
‘I love you.’ His arm wrapped around my waist, and I reached under his arms, pulling him into me, holding him so tightly I could barely breathe. Our lips met in a desperate crush.
‘Hi, baby,’ he whispered into my ear while our family cheered behind us. ‘I missed you so badly. I’ve been an arsehole and I’m so fucking sorry, Abbey. Please tell me you forgive me?’
My face was wet, but from my tears or his, I couldn’t tell.
‘I forgive you. I love you too, Nick.’
He picked me up and did a little spin.
‘Wait! Shivah?’ He frowned with confusion. ‘Was Iris Jewish, or was one of her husbands?’
‘Neither. It’s Ella’sGrey’s Anatomyobsession.’
‘Oh.’ He shook his head, gave a puzzled smile. ‘Abbey, I don’t know how this is going to work logistically. But we’ll figure it out together, okay?’
‘Together.’
‘Yes, beloved.’
He kissed my cheek and then found my mouth again in the sweetest of kisses that made more tears come to my eyes.
