I scanned their faces, looking for him, but he wasn’t there, and I had to swallow my disappointment and grief over that.
‘Oh, Abs, I’m sorry. He left for England this morning. I rang him, but he must have already been on the plane. He would have been here if he had known. I hope you know that.’
So he was gone then. Weird. I thought I would be able to feel it in myself when we were no longer on the same continent.Fuck. Losing the two of them in one day. That was a lot.
I felt my eyes fill with tears and then I reached over and hugged Ollie, mostly because I couldn’t hug Nick, but also because, after everything, I loved him like family. I let them in, greeting each of them with hugs and kisses, especially Lionel. I did not know how on earth the Northbys had broken him out for the day, but I suspected he was better off here amongst other people who loved Iris as much as he had.
Evelyn immediately made herself at home in the kitchen and started making tea to go with Kate’s ‘lovely biscuits’, and when we sat down to eat and drink, the mood became solemn for the briefest of times.
But everyone seemed to lift a little with each bite of biscuit or cake, and Kate and I began to tell stories of Iris from our childhood. Spending summers with her on the south coast, how she was absolutely, fabulously lucky while fishing and how she would just turn up to a wharf with all the equipment, appear slightly confused for about a minute and then some random friendly fisher-bloke would come over and bait us all up. How she took us to the doctor on our sixteenth birthday so we could get birth control and gave us talks about sexual freedom and body confidence. How she introduced us to old black-and-white movies and gothic literature.
Lionel spoke about how the nursing home’s book club and artistry association would sorely miss her. And he would miss her for the rest of his life.
The Northby twins shared their memories of childhood and the memories they had of their family and soon they were laughing to the point where they were crying and so were we.
Arrangements were made for the ‘Festival of Iris’, as her memorial party was dubbed. We would do it the following Saturday.
We spent the entire day together, cocooned. Cooking, eating and chatting like the weird makeshift family we were. Just a group of individuals who loved one another in various ways.
I drove Lionel back to the nursing home in the afternoon, walking him to his room and waiting for a nurse to come to get him settled. I gave him an enormous hug and promised to visit next week.
I walked past Iris’s room, but did not go in. I could see all of her things had already been packed up. I could not deal with that just yet.
Once I got back to the house, the drinking began in earnest. I set the girls up with a takeaway and movies on the fold-out lounge, while Kate, Ollie, Evelyn, Jacinta and I sat around a fire out the back. We made plans to drown our sorrows and for them all to stay. Kate in Ella’s room, Ollie and Ev in Kate’s old room, and Nanny Jacinta on the smaller lounge next to the girls.
The fire was roaring, music was playing, and Nick, he would have loved this. I looked at the sunset, wondering what the sky looked like where he was right now.
When he realised I had not been paying attention, Ollie reached out, taking my hand, giving me a sympathetic smile. I smiled back, widely, as I was absolutely delighted to see him genuinely on the mend. He looked so much better than the last time I had seen him.
‘That shaved head suits you enormously, Ollie. The scars are giving you a piratical quality. I think you should make up outrageous stories to go along with them. You’re living in Australia, anything could have happened. Nick once said the rest of the world was terrified of coming here. So let’s think … Kangaroo fight?’ I suggested.
‘Shark bite, while surfing at Bondi,’ Nanny Jacinta chimed in from the open door.
‘Koala fell on your head?’ Evelyn suggested.
‘Seagull attack at Darling Harbour?’ Kate offered the most plausible one.
He laughed, but immediately winced and we all started fussing, checking if he was okay, but he waved us off.
‘Abbey, about Nick.’
‘Ollie.’ I held up my hand in warning, my eyes pleading with him. The heartbreak was still so raw, and I wasn’t ready yet.
‘No, Abbey, I need to tell you.’
Kate and Evelyn had gone quiet to hear what he would say. Jacinta excused herself discreetly to check on the girls and give us privacy. It was a kind gesture.
‘He was so miserable this week,’ Ollie started. Evelyn nodded in agreement, her eyes downcast. ‘He said he couldn’t stay. That the temptation to be near you was too great, and that you had asked for distance. He agreed to let Summer and Jacinta stay for an additional two weeks with Ev.’
He looked at Evelyn and she withdrew a white paper bag from her tote.
‘He wanted me to give this to you tomorrow for your birthday. But I think, given the circumstances, that you should have it today.’ Oliver gave me a small sympathetic smile.
I tentatively reached out to take the bag from him. There was no card or embellishment, and the bag was not shop-fresh, in that it wasn’t new and it looked as if it had been used before, or worried at. It didn’t look like a present.
Inside was a box and a picture frame. I took the frame out first. It was a wooden frame in a light-oak colour, heavy with a soft, black velvet back. I turned the frame over and the photo brought instant tears to my eyes. It was a picture of Nick and me on the beach in the Maldives, at sunset. A lump rose in my throat. My hair was in mid-flight, caught by the wind, and I had obviously been swimming that day, from the amount of wayward curls I had. I was laughing at something he was saying. I couldn’t remember what. My right hand was over my grandmother’s necklace, the other over his hand. His arm was wrapped firmly around my waist, the other extended to snap the shot. His chin was over my shoulder, sitting on top of a black sleeveless tee I had on, and his gorgeous dark waves were all over the place. He was pulling a face of concentration, trying to get the ocean into the background. It was the perfect, imperfect picture of the perfect holiday.
I felt a tear escape and roll down my cheek and a few more quickly followed. I brushed them away with the back of my hand and passed the picture to Kate, while I reached back into the bag to retrieve the box.
