Sebastian was astute at reading people. I suppose doctors had to be. ‘Oh, I apologise. I didn’t realise you two were together.’
I held Nick’s eyes, trying to hold on to him. I tried to communicate my hope, my desire, my love and care with a single look. There was a second, a micro-second, where I saw something flicker in his expression and my breath caught with the thought that he was finally going to name what was happening between us. Claim me as his.
But then it was gone.
‘No. We’re not together,’ he said, dropping his eyes to the floor. Shutting down from me.
I wanted to sink into the ground or maybe just burst into tears or burst into flames and rage at him.
‘Oh, okay, my mistake,’ Sebastian said, sounding not confident. ‘Well … um, how about dinner then, Abbey?’
My eyes were still on Nick. The man I was certain I was in love with, who did not love me. He was refusing to meet my eyes. His brother’s hand flexed in mine, who, though he had been unconscious for several days, somehow understood this situation better than Nick. Thoughts about the time we had spent together filled my head. The sex. The two nights lying in his arms. The comfort I had been able to provide him. The love and care I had for his family. His refusal to let me out of his reach.
Jesus. I could not do this anymore. I needed to implement some way-overdue self-preservation tactics. I had to let him go.
‘That sounds great, Sebastian,’ I said quietly, finally looking at the hot doctor, squaring my shoulders, and putting on the smile that was expected of me.
Sebastian looked relieved that Kate would not be his mortal enemy for failing to succeed. ‘Fantastic! I’ll grab your number from Kate. I, uh, look forward to it.’ He bent his head in a weird kind of bow and left the room.
Kate could barely contain her excitement and she left too.
I smiled politely. Everything was fine. Yes, my heart was broken.AndNick fucking Northbystill could not meet my eyes.Fucking coward.
I had to get out of there with at least some semblance of dignity. I turned to Oliver, seeing sad sympathy in his eyes. ‘I am so glad you are okay, Ollie. Truly I am.’ I pressed a soft kiss into his cheek and then walked out the door.
Once I was in the corridor, I walked slowly, letting the sadness come. I would give it a day or two, no more. He didn’t deserve it. Though in his defence, he had warned me. How many times had he told me this would be the case? If I had fallen, then I had done so knowing the risks. It didn’t make it feel better, though. I was just devastated.
‘Abbey.’
I didn’t want to turn, but I did, and I did not bother to hide the tears or the misery. I refused to hide the hurt. I wanted him to see it.
He pulled at the neck of his jumper and ran a hand through his hair, making it stick out wildly. ‘I wanted to thank you. For everything. I don’t think I could have got through the last couple of days without you.’
Yesterday, I would have tried to find the subtext in what he was saying. Today I was done. I turned and kept walking.
Nick
I watched her walk down the corridor. Stopped myself from calling out to her. She deserved someone like that doctor. Handsome and light. She deserved a chance with someone who could love her the way she deserved to be loved.
It would be easier if we didn’t have to see each other. It would be so much easier if I could pick up my life and move back to London, giving us the space we both need. But tomorrow, I need to go be Oliver at Delacqua. And that means I’m Abbey Parker’s boss again.
When I walked back into the room, my siblings were staring at me.
‘I hope you are not going to allow that very hot doctor to swoop that lovely woman away from you, Nicholas,’ Ev said.
‘I do not require your guidance, Evelyn.’
‘Nick, you might be able to pull the wool over other people’s eyes and fool them by being an arsehole, but that does not work with us, dear brother. I do believe you are in love.’
‘I’m not in love.’ I attempted to sound disinterested in the discussion, but it came out more like a growl. Strangely, the feel of Abbey’s mouth kissing my cheek and her kid wrapping her arms around me in a spontaneous Abbey-like-hug flashed through my brain.
‘Nick, you are allowed to choose happiness. You do know that, right?’
Choose happiness. What did that even mean? I didn’t choose anything here. It felt like life was operating all on its own at this point. I could choose happiness; it meant nothing. It did not mean Abbey would be happy. I chose happiness with Rebecca and look where that got us.
‘Do you ever think we are cursed, Ev?’
‘Nick, we have each other. We have Summer and Liam—’
