Kate had messaged me on her break at nine last night.
Abs, I think you have feelings for this guy. I’m not sure he’s not a commitment-phobe. DO NOT HAVE SEX.
Too late.
I scrolled down further. There was an unread message from Nick. I had completely forgotten it; the reason Ollie had been hit and not me. I opened it.
I know how mad you are with me and that things are strange, but I’m struggling not to beat down your door just to be near you. Please tell me you will have dinner with me before I leave. N xx
I smiled at that, closing my eyes, the grin spreading across my face. I read it again and as I read the last line, another came through from him.
It’s just occurred to me that your ex-husband’s name is Peter Parker. Is he a superhero by trade?
I laughed out loud at that, earning a look in the rearview mirror from the cabbie, and typed back:
God no. His mother swears blind she has never read the cartoon or seen a Spiderman movie. Sometimes, if she came over for dinner or whatever, I would just have it running in the background to see if I could trip her up.
He responded with a bunch of laughing emojis and then a love heart, before adding:
My sister is on her way to Sydney. She should arrive tomorrow. Any chance you could have dinner with us on Monday night?
I’ll check with Kate and see if she can look after Ella.
Great. N xx
For two people not in a relationship, this felt very relationshippy.What the fuck was happening here?
Nick
What the fuck was happening here?Pirates of the Caribbeannight?
If I went, surely that indicated I wanted to meet her kid. Which I did. I just didn’t want any confusion about our relationship.
Admittedly, last night may have been confusing. I was just emotional. She was just comforting me. We were just comforting each other.Right?
I could not think about the possibility that Ollie wouldn’t be all right. He had to be.No way Ollie goes down like this.I saw his teenage years when he was doing seriously dumb shit and we had to implement the Northby rules. Don’t die. I should make that a fucking Northby rule.
When I’d walked into that hospital (for the record, I fucking loathe hospitals) and seen Abbey covered in blood, I was so panicked. I wanted to strip off every item of clothing she had on, just to check it wasn’t coming from her. I was so relieved she was okay, but then the dawning realisation that the blood on her belonged to Ollie almost made me collapse.
Northbys. Are we fucking cursed?
I needed to set some rigid boundaries with Abbey. She was under my skin and I was under hers, but she was not setting any boundaries, except when it came to her child. That was completely understandable. But I cannot allow myself to fall in love with her. I won’t.
It should be easier then, to stop. But there are still feelings I am unable to control and the impulse to be near her … it is terrifying for me, for both of us.
There was no point thinking any further on it. My priority was Oliver. I had to be there for my brother. And she was the only person I knew in this city, and the only person who gave a shit, and she was right. I shouldn’t be alone. SoPirates of the Caribbeannight it is.
Chapter Ten
Abbey
I was far from certain whether I expected Nick Northby to rock up at my house forPirates of the Caribbeannight, but I spent the entire grocery trip running through ways to break the news to my child, in case he did.
Ella and I were close and in a way that had nothing to do with Peter. Pete managed to be a good dad, despite often being a massive prick to me. But Ella just preferred her mum at times. When she woke up in the middle of the night, she would come to my side of the bed. If she was worried about something, she would confide in me. I knew about all of the important stuff. Friend dramas, boyfriends, broken hearts, teacher drama and period dramas (as in feminine reproductive, not the travesty ofMatthew getting killed off inDownton Abbey). Nothing was off limits, but we had simply never discussed me inviting men she did not know to our house.
After getting back with the groceries, I cleaned the house with anxious thoroughness. When Ella came through the door, I noted that, for the first time – and as requested – Peter dropped her off and did not come in, which was a relief. I hated making small talk with him. I mean, what was I supposed to say?Hey, thanks so much for being a massive, lying cheat and forcing me to recognise that I’m not sure I ever loved you.Also, this wasn’t his house any longer and after the dress night, I finally realised he was crossing a boundary, coming in as he had. It felt surprisingly good to have got it off my chest and to have him respect the new rules. My rules.
I timed the Nick talk for when Ella and I were preparing vegetables for the tacos. I popped down the knife on the wooden benchtop and stared at the white-and-green checked tiles on the wall, running what I would say through in my head and trying to get the amount of casual right. I picked up the knife again and started chopping.
