She nodded, and finally her shoulders dropped. She put one hand on my back, a small hug. The relief that this tiny gesture brought me made me want to sink to my knees and collapse.
‘Beers,’ Ollie called out.
I grabbed Abbey’s hand and led her back to our table. I couldn’t stop looking at her. She wore jeans and a sparkling jumper and boots. A leather biker jacket and beautiful pearl studs at her ears. At the table, I let go of her hand as she sat, but slid my knee out so it touched hers the entire time. I made certain I never let her go for the rest of the day and the entire night.
Chapter Nine
Abbey
The light streamed through the curtains and the fluttering breeze made them dance. I was dreaming of the island. I was sweating from the heat and his warmth was behind me, his arm wrapped tightly around my waist. I brushed my hand along the hair of his forearms.
As I reached down for his hand, I realised I still had my jeans on in this dream. Weird that they were exactly the same jeans I wore yesterday. I was also wearing my fuzzy black jumper, which probably explained why I was so fucking hot. I pulled my damp hair off the back of my neck and wrestled myself out of my jumper.
My tongue was stuck to the roof of my mouth, and I reached out for a glass of water and then it dawned on me.Oh, Jesus Christ. This is not a dream.
At least I wasn’t naked. I did not completely capitulate to him after he apologised.
The day before comes flooding back. The double date set up by my grandmother. Me seeing him and trying to get Kate to turn around and leave. Him engulfing me in a hug that I did not want, but could not seem to move out of. His apology.
After that there was alcohol (a lot), food (I insisted on paying for everything and he let me) and some bloke on a guitar, who did marvellous renditions of Oasis and Mumford and Sons’ songs. I am almost certain I danced and sang to Ed Sheeran. I am almost certain that Kate and Ollie made out with each other, before both making out with other people. Nick and I did not kiss. We were just attached, connected. If I moved, he moved with me. We danced and sang, and then we piled into a taxi and came back here.
Ollie was asleep on my couch before we went to bed. Kate crawled to her bedroom as we came in. I marched Nick to the kitchen, put two ibuprofen into his hand and made him drink a glass of water before pulling him into my room.
‘Do you forgive me?’ he whispered into the dark.
‘You are a fucking walking red flag,’ I replied.
He took a huge, shuddering breath. ‘You make me want to break all my rules.’
‘The thing about it, Nick, is that you don’t seem to understand that you are the risk and not me.’
‘That’s because you undervalue yourself.’
‘So do you.’
I closed my eyes, he closed his … and here we were.
***
They left after a surprisingly un-awkward coffee and toast, Kate and I both heading back to bed for a bit.
Monday brought my first day at work without him, and it was odd not to be constantly aware of his presence in the office. Oliver and I were busy that week with a couple of high-end meetings, along with the preparation for his business trip, but I missed Nick.
He messaged me every day, checking in, making sure we were both okay. Actually, his messages gave off not even remotely hidden, completely out of control parental-anxiety vibes – and they came thick and fast on the Monday.
How’s he going?
Make sure he remembers to eat.
Let me know how the sponsorship meeting goes at 9. Remind him to sell the benefits of our international chain too. It’s going to be a big factor for the corporate travel market.
There were at least three more messages like this before I phoned him at eleven.
‘Is everything okay, Abs? What’s he done …?’
‘Nick, you need to calm the fuck down. You are driving me nuts and it is making me anxious,’ I whispered.
He surprised me by laughing. ‘I’ll admit it is actually killing me not being there.’
