‘Oh, right, hi! Nice to meet you.’
‘You too.’
‘It’s cold out here.’
‘Yeah.’ He looked out at the view and then down to his hand on the balustrade, before meeting my eyes again. ‘Do you, uh, I know we are both avoiding that dance floor by being out here, but you wouldn’t want to dance with me, would you? At least it’s warm in there.’ He smiled.
A handsome man in a nice suit wanted to dance with me. Maybe I should take Gran’s advice for me this evening. Maybe I should stop being feeble.
Nick
This glamorous young person was all over me like a rash. There was a time in my life where I would have been flattered, but that was a lifetime ago and, at the moment, all I could think was that she had picked the wrong guy. Why not choose Oliver? He was so much lighter than I was. Same childhood, but considerably less adult trauma.
And even if I could have somehow mustered the energy to say she wasveryattractive, my head would not let me, because all I wanted to do was to ascertain the whereabouts of a particular girl in a particular gold fucking dress.
I caught a glimpse of the dress from behind and spun the pretty blonde, whose name had vanished from my head – Alicia? Alison? Fiona? – so I had a better view.
And there she was. Abbey. Dancing with a solid, attractive bloke. He looked older than me, stronger than me and possibly taller than me. He was annoyingly handsome in that ‘I got handsome as I got older’ way, which I am not certain is happening with my looks. Not that I think about that sort of thing.
Abbey was dancing and there was this glorious radiant smile on her face, which was flirty and earthy and –fuck me– if she was not the only woman in this room.I am lost. I had allowed my control to slip earlier, and I had kissed her. Now that was the only thing I could fucking think about.
Not this party, not this woman in my arms, nothing but her.
And there she was dancing with this other guy because I couldn’t be the man she deserved.
But what am I doing? I would not be living here beyond a couple of weeks.I do not want a relationship. I don’t want to hurt her.This is the last work function I have on. The last duty I need to fulfil for Delacqua. Tomorrow I am just Nick. Just Nick in old Sydney town for two weeks, just in case Ollie needs me. Just Nick ignoring the callings of home. Holiday Nick.
I have two weeks. And if that is something she might want, I wonder if … Why wouldn’t we? It felt as if something had shifted and the heat we’d been ignoring for the last few weeks was finally breaking free. It felt as if the two of us crossing boundaries tonight was inevitable.
I should leave her alone. I could not offer her what she wanted. I think she has feelings, and I am definitely having feelings. I absolutely do not want her hurt. Abbey is sweet, generous and kind. I do not want her to feel pain. It would be better if we stopped. If I stopped …
I excused myself from the blonde and walked to the DJ with purpose, insisting that the next song was an Ed Sheeran song, and then I waited by the door.
The song switched. I watched as she listened and then shook her head at the handsome stranger and extricated herself from him. She grabbed her bag, took one last look around and walked towards the door.
I had a quick word with our security guy and had him hold the lift I walked into. I listened from the back corner, out of sight, as he ushered another couple towards the other lift. She walked in and, gorgeously, just smiled and rolled her eyes as she saw me. I pointed towards the camera. She nodded.
Her face became serious as her eyes met mine and locked. I saw her breathing change and watched as her chest rose and fell. That dress on the lady from the kitchen department had looked good, but I had no idea what the perfect dress for the perfect woman would look like, and it was so much better than I could have ever imagined. Abbey is small and curvy. Perfectly curved. Soft, supple, silky. My hands remember exactly how she feels and the memories haunt me. I remember how she feels every single night; I remember her mouth and the curves of it. I remember her sounds. I very much wanted to hear them again.
It was the longest fucking lift ride in the world. She had more makeup on than I had ever seen on her and when she bit gently on a red lip I thought I’d combust. Thankfully, the lift dinged, and we walked out. I waited as she grabbed her coat, and we left the building, walking about a block. Finally, we were far enough away from that fucking hotel, and I dragged her into an alleyway and kissed her much harder than that stupid, mad kiss in that little room.
Her lips fit perfectly to mine and we found an instant rhythm. She tasted like champagne and crème caramel, and I wanted to devote myself to the combination. My hands started exploring her in that dress, what it felt like around her waist and how it felt over her arse. I pulled her hips into mine and I knew there was a fucking split there somewhere and that I could get to skin, but it evaded me at first and then she moved her leg a little as she pressed her body into me and there it was, her warm soft skin under my palm, where it should be.
Dangerous thoughts, Nick.Very dangerous thoughts. What would it look like? The two of us?
Her hands were in my hair then and I’m pretty sure the first noise came from me. My hand was roaming over her breast and the other was climbing under her skirt. She whispered, ‘Nick,’ into my ear and I kissed her harder, silencing her before I gave in to the desire to fuck her against this wall. I have never wanted anything more in my life than this woman at this moment.
She was vibrating. No, she wasn’t vibrating, her phone was.
‘Abbey, your phone.’
‘Oh,’ she said, dazed.
I waited for a second as she found it in her purse and then I started kissing her neck and her collarbone as she squinted to read it.
‘Oh, fuck. It’s Gran’s nursing home.’ She put her hand into the nook on my chest to get me to stop.
I placed my hand over it and pulled away.
