Alex grunted. “Speaking of not liking things and getting back to my original question, you may not hate me, but what exactly don’t you like about me?”
“You’re…” She hesitated.
“Say it.”
He was probably the last person in the world she would choose to say these words to, but maybe he was the only person in the world who would truly understand.
“You said I remind you of yourself. I guess I know what you mean, and the truth is, you’re what I’m afraid of becoming. I almost… I wanted to be with you that night. I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t want to think, at all, for once in my life. I could’ve been on that motorcycle with you and then maybeeverything I’d ever worked for would have been gone in an instant, and you made me feel…”
“Like what?”
Terrified.
“Forget it,” she said, ready to jump up and leave if he pushed her to say it. That she’d never felt so alive as she had when she was in his arms, not even on a tennis court. “It’s not important. I was acting like an irresponsible idiot. I lost control for one night and it cost me, but not as much as it could have. It won’t happen again.”
That had practically become her mantra over the last few months.
“You can’t be in control all the time. It’s okay to let go sometimes.”
“No it’s not,” she said, pulling her hand free from his and scrambling to her feet. She was halfway to the gate when he called her name.
“I’m sorry.”
She froze but didn’t respond.
“I’m sorry for making you feel”—he hesitated for a moment—“that way. I’m sorry I can’t change that.” His voice was soft but firm, just like his touch when he took her hand, and something in her heart cracked open.
“I…” Her voice failed her. “I’ve got to go.”
“So that’s it?”
“Yes, that’s it.”
She didn’t owe him an explanation. She didn’t owe him anything at all.
“You’re a terrible liar.”
It was the truth and she didn’t bother to contradict him. What would be the point? Another ten rounds of verbal sparring that went absolutely nowhere and all the while her resolve weakening little by little. She should leave, get out of here before she lost control again. She should just leave before he—
“I want you.” Her breath caught on a gasp as he continued. “You know I do and that scares you, but the only thing that scares you more is that you want me, too,” Alex said, his voice deep and husky.
Penny’s pulse thrummed in her throat and she closed her eyes, trying to keep herself steady. She could hear his sneakers moving against the clay, and when she opened her eyes again, he was right in front of her. He stepped closer, cupping her cheek, tilting her face up to his. He leaned in, his nose brushing against hers before following the path of his fingertips.
“Alex,” Penny said, her eyes drifting closed as she leaned into the touch. “Wait.” She pressed her hands against his chest, though she didn’t push him away. “I’m sorry.”
“Penny…” He bent, resting his forehead against hers, his hands dropping to her waist, tugging her closer.
“This isn’t who I am,” she said, twisting her fingers into the cotton of his shirt. “I can’t… I can’t do this.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
“Won’t,” Penny whispered, hating herself for it.
Alex stumbled backward like he’d been sucker punched. “Fine. If that’s what you want, fine.”
“Alex? Are you finished? We have a reservation.”
Penny looked up and saw Caroline Morneau at the gate.The agent’s timing was as impeccable as she looked. Her blond hair was elegantly arranged in a twist at the back of her neck; a sharp suit jacket and pencil skirt gave her an air of sophistication and grace that made Penny feel like an underdressed little kid, especially since she had clay sticking to the backs of her legs and rubbed into her hair and clothes. Then she remembered, he had somewhere to be, and apparently wherever that was, Caroline Morneau was going with him.
